


Not Everything Is So Easy.

by JenCollins



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A fate worse than death, Background Wolfstar, Drarry, First Crush, First Love, Healing, Hurt Draco, Jealousy, M/M, Narcissa is a Good Mum, New Things, Sassy Draco, Slow Burn, Soft Harry, Trust Issues, bad father Lucius, best friends with house elf, boys, discovering life, discovering themselves, falling in love?, friendship stronger than ups and downs, good and bad parents, good friend Harry, good friend draco, hurt and a bit broken Draco, i still don't know how to tag, kind Draco, learning, mental health, mention of wolfstar, soft bean Draco, there is a cute original character who helps Draco a lot, there's a lot to learn, thoughts and talks about death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2020-05-01 10:25:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 66,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19174717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenCollins/pseuds/JenCollins
Summary: Draco is sassy as heck but under he is soft and kind. Only a few can see what's under his cold mask.





	1. The Start.

**Author's Note:**

> never have I thought that I will struggle about writing sass.  
> This is not how I thought it will go but I hope that it's okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a beta starting from chapter 6!  
> just wanted to let you know.

**The Start.**

 

Couple minutes after Draco was born he was given to house elf to take care of the baby. This elf was Dobby.

He stayed with Draco from very first minutes, fulfilling his every wish but over all that, he give him something even greater - Friendship.

Draco’s first crawling was towards Dobby who hugged him and give him a small treat, praising him and earning big grin from Draco.

Dobby was there when Draco took his first steps, instead of trying to go to his mother or father Draco took his first steps towards Dobby, giggling when he finally was able to do it.

The first time when Draco got shouted at by playing too loud Dobby was there to wipe his tears and tell him that it’s okay.

The first time when Lucius hit Draco was when Draco was a bit over 1 year. He earned bruising hit over his butt all because Draco come into the house and was too happy to see Dobby after their holiday.

After that hit Draco was left alone in his room, gasping for breath and waiting for his mother to come and hug him, tell him that his father didn’t mean to hurt him, that he still love him.

But his mother never come. Instead Dobby come, pulling Draco in his lap, swinging him softly and wiping away his tears, staying all night just to make sure that Draco was okay.

After that Draco did get a couple more similar punishments from his father just because he was too close and too kind to trash that was their house elf.

That’s how Draco learned to put on a mask, faking cold and ignorant person in front of his father while being full on kindness in front of Dobby.

And with every year Draco just got more and more sassy, but Dobby didn’t mind, all he cared about was Draco being happy.

But not all apierence his sassines.

His father hated it. And he got to know it in a hard way.

He was ten, his father pulling off one more ball for his rich “friends”, trying to push Draco to be friends with their children that was the same age as him.

Draco hated these parties, he couldn’t stand it all, all these fake people playing on his nerve, so he couldn’t help him, embracing his sassiness on full level.

-What a cute boy you are! - one of his parents friend pinch his cheek making red blotch spread over Draco's pale cheek.

\- Well, but you yourself look like death itself vomit you back. - Draco turn on his heal and walked away.

Latter that night when all guests was gone, Lucius pulled Draco out of bed, dragged him down the hall and pushed him down to the ground.

-You need to learn some manieres. - Lucius demand.

\- You need to learn love,  _ father _ . - Draco snarled back, standing up straigt.

He didn't even saw the hit coming, he just felt his father's cane's silvery tip connect with his cheek.

Draco fell to the ground with loud gasp, slowly raising his fingers to touch his swelling cheekbone just to see blood smear over his fingers.

-Is that all you can do? Just hit me because I wasn't talking the same nonsense that you were babbling? Weak, even for you. - Draco looked up at his father with bored look.

What come next he didn't understand, one moment he was looking at his father, the next terrible pain was shooting through his body, pushing him to the ground.

-Manieres, Draco, maniers. - Lucius simply answer before aiming curse at Draco, again and again.

That night Draco's screams echo through the manor, scaring even birds outside.

After hours when Draco finally passed out from all the pain, Lucius simply left him lying there on the cold ground.

That's when Dobby come, carefully getting Draco to the bed, wiping away sweat from Draco's stone pale face, tucking puffy blanket around boy's sore body, simply sitting there to make sure that Draco was okay. At least as okay as someone could be after such curse.

Draco didn’t leave his bed for three whole days, he could barely move at all, everything hurt so much that he spend most of his time just crying.

He watched his bedroom door with hope that maybe his mother will come but she never did and Draco didn’t blame her, he knew that Lucius have told her not to as a second punishment to Draco because he knew how much Draco loved his mother.

Dobby tried his best to help Draco get through these days, feeding him and always being there to wipe his tears.

\- Dobby, why my father hate me so much? - Draco looked up at the house elf with eyes so teary that it looked like liquid silver that was about to spill over the edges of the eye.

\- Your father do love you Draco, he just don’t know how to show it. He was raised this way, he just don’t know any other kind of love. I am sorry, Draco. - Dobby hung his head low, feeling really sad himself, wishing that he could help more.

\- Dobby? - Draco speak again after moment of silence. - Thank you for being my friend, my best friend. -

These words made Dobby look up right when Draco pulled him in a hug, pouring love in it.

That night Draco woke up in the middle of the night, calling Dobby who come immediately.

\- Draco, what’s wrong, my young master? - Dobby rushed to Draco’s bed in slight panic.

\- Dobby, I had an idea. Let’s run away! You and me! Let’s just run away from all this, from my father! - Draco eyes were shining in the dark with excitement.

\- Oh, my young master Draco, that isn’t possible… I can’t leave Malfoy family till I’m not freed by the master himself and young master can’t leave, his mother would be broken, she love you very very much. - Dobby was sad that he needed to wipe away the so rare excitement that rose in Draco but he needed to tell the truth.

\- But… but… - Draco didn’t know what else to say, he felt like crying again.

He didn’t want to leave his mother but he wanted to escape the prison that his father was.

\- But don’t worry Draco, you will be able to leave soon. The day when you will turn eleven, that is soon my young master, you will receive a letter from Hogwarts, school of magic. There you will be able to escape your father for most time of the year. And when you will finish it, you will already be old enough to live on your own. - Dobby wiped away stray tear from Draco’s cheek.

\- But… That mean that I have to leave you too… To leave my mother… I don’t want to leave you! You are my best friend! My only true friend! - Draco gripped at Dobby’s hand, not wanting to let him go, he couldn’t bare to lose his only true friend.

\- You won’t lose us, we will be here when you come home. I promise that, Draco. I promise that I won’t leave you. - Dobby felt teary himself, he pulled Draco in a hug, tucking puffy blanket around him. - Sleep, my young master, you need your strength. Sleep, Draco, sleep. -

 


	2. Harry Potter.

**Harry Potter.**

It was couple days before Draco will go off to Hogwarts when his mother took him out to shop everything needed for school.

Draco loved shopping, it was freeing, and calming. Draco loved it so much.

Especially when his father wasn’t tagging along like today.

Draco wander around shop, looking for the right material he will want his robes to be made of when he catch the sight of bright green eyes across the room.

Draco spun around right away, wanting to see who it was.

There was a skinny boy in clothes that was way too big for him, awkwardly standing to the side and looking at the robe choices.

Draco made his way to stand next to the boy.

\- Hi. You won’t want these ones, they will wear off pretty early on, better choose something from these ones. They are more comfortable too. And from better material. - Draco babble about what he knew, clothing and fashion, how stupid of him to start their conversation with possible new friend talking about damn robes.

Boy stared at Draco with big eyes and his lips slightly parted.

\- I’m Malfoy. - Draco hold out his hand for the boy. - Draco Malfoy. -

The boy looked down at Draco’s hand and then back to his face before slowly taking it in his and shaking it softly.

\- I’m Harry… - the boy mumble. - Potter… -

\- Potter? You are Harry Potter? Wow. - now it was Draco’s turn to be taken aback by bit.

\- Em… Yeah… - Harry rub the back of his neck, obviously feeling awkward.

\- I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel awkward. Just that I have read about you and you are kinda famous. - Draco let out chuckle.

\- Oh, it is all so new for me… Yesterday I didn’t even know that all the wizard thing actually existed… - small blush tint Harry’s cheeks making him look even cuter.

\- You… What? - Draco really was taken a back.

Was this the real Harry Potter that was mention in the history books?

Harry open his mouth to answer but before he could the shop madam come and dragged Draco away to the stall to measure all needed thing for his robes.

Draco tried to look back but it was no sucess, the boy was gone.

Draco felt so confused.

What did he mean that he didn’t know about wizarding world? How was that possible.

When his mother come to pick him up Draco was frowning so hard that he was sure there will be lines set in his face forever.

\- What’s wrong, Draco? - Narcisa asked while leading Draco out of the shop.

\- Mum, how is that possible that someone who is wizard don’t know about wizarding world like at all? - Draco looked up and straight in his mother’s eyes, trying to read the answer there.

\- Well, some children grow up with muggles. You know about muggle borns, Draco. - His mother answer in kind voice.

\- I am not talking about muggle borns right now. How can the child who have borned in wizard family not know that he is wizard or that the wizard world exist? - Draco keep pressing, frown only growing.

\- Are you talking about someone particular? - His mother burrow her brows.

\- Yes, I am. I met a boy in the shop and he was so confused and blown away by all this because it was all new and I just don’t understand how someone like him can not know about all this before. - Draco huf out annoyed breath.

\- And who was this boy? You almost never talk with anyone your age. - Narcisa looked a mix of confusion and curiosity.

\- Harry Potter, mother. How could he not know? Like, he is kinda famous here and all. I just don’t get it. - Draco couldn’t stop thinking about Harry.

\- Oh. You… You met Potter? - His mother sound a bit taken aback by the answer.

\- Yeah, I told you that already. Are you feeling okay? You look paler than usual. - Draco frowned again.

\- Yes, yes. I just didn’t think that you will be… Never mind. Some said that he was set off to live with muggles. His aunt or something. Don’t think about it too hard. We should get back, your father will be back from his meeting in an hour. - Narcisa looked around.

\- Do we really need to go back so early? Can’t we at least have ice cream like normal family before he come and set his anger on me yet again? - Draco asked in bored voice, starting to go to the floo without even waiting for the answer because he knew what the answer will be.

No and blah blah, your father love you, blah blah, more bullshit and so on. Not worth listening too.

Draco loved his mother with all his heart but he hated her bullshit talk.

When they floo home Draco walked off to his room without a one look back.

\- Dobby. - Draco called softly right when his bedroom door shut.

Familiar loud crack made smile grow on Draco’s lips.

\- My young master, Draco! Welcome home! - Dobby kneeled in front of Draco making Draco laugh before pulling Dobby in the hug.

\- I missed you. How will I survive months without seeing you? I will go crazy. - Draco sigh, plopping down on the bed and looking over at Dobby with sad eyes.

\- It will be alright, my young master, there will be a lot of other children that you will be able to be friends with. And you can always call me and I will be there in a seconds. Please don’t be sad. Better tell me about your day. I know that you love shopping. - Dobby smiled sitting down and looking lovingly at Draco.

\- Oh, yes! I got a lot of new books for school! They all seem so interesting! - and Draco went on on long rant about all the things he got to buy for school, soft smile playing on his lips.

Dobby loved to see Draco like this, so carefree and slightly happy, small smile playing over his lips, his eyes shining with joy. Dobby wished that he could protect Draco more.

\- Oh, and guess who did I meet?! Harry Potter! Can you imagine? The same Potter that have blasted you know who away. And you know what was really confusing? That he said that till this day he didn’t have an idea that wizarding world existed! Can you imagine? I was so confused how that could be but mum said that he have grow up with muggles. I am not sure, will need to ask that when I see him next. - Draco was looking up at the ceiling with dreamy eyes, playing back memories of the boy in his head. - Oh, and his eyes. Dobby, he had such green eyes. You know like the moss right after the rain when sun hit it just right across. Shiny and just so deep, and kinda pulling you in but still being so so soft and just… They were so beautiful. That was the first thing I notice across the shop. He have such beautiful eyes, Dobby. -

Draco sigh, small smile playing on his lips while he remembered these green eyes.

\- He seem like such a nice boy, Draco. It sound that he made you happy, if I can say so, my young master. - Dobby loved listening to Draco’s ranting with such excitement that light up his grey eyes making them silvery and bright.

\- I am sure that he is. - Draco rolled over to look straight in Dobby’s eyes. - I want to be his friend. I hope that he want to be my friend too. Do you think that I ruined everything by starting to rant about robes? -

\- Of course not, my young master, Draco. He sound like a really nice kid who will probably like to be-friend you. Is he going to Hogwarts too? Then you can really be a great friends. - Dobby smiled honestly at Draco, loving how Draco eyes just light up after hearing these words.

\- Yes, he did seem like my age! I will need to look if I see him on the train! That will be great! - Draco looked up at the ceilng with dreamy eyes, playing back how green Harry’s eyes were. 

That night all Draco dreamed off was bright green eyes.

 

When he was finally standing in train station he couldn’t help but look for these green eyes that have stayed in his dreams.

Draco was almost pushed together with his “friends” yet he couldn’t help himself not scanning the place.

He got annoyed that he couldn’t see Harry anywhere and then he got annoyed even more just this time to himself for being such an eager fool and then he got only more annoyed that he was pushed around once again.

He got into train and sit down with Crabe and Goil but kept looking around to catch a glimpse of these beautiful green eyes.

It seem that luck was out of his reach because train start moving but he still haven’t saw Harry damn Potter.

The whole train ride was a bit boring but as they got closer to Hogwarts he grew only more and more excited.

He was finally free, free of his father and boring family gatherings.

He finally could be just a boy.

Draco’s heart skipped a beat at that thought.

Last couple months he let himself wonder about Hogwarts and sorting. He knew that all Malfoys end up Slytherin. Not even one slip. So he wonder what would happen if he would get sorted into some other house. 

What his father’s reaction would be?

He would probably turn even paler getting to know that.

Draco snorted to himself before pushing the thought to the far corner once again and getting ready to get off the train.

Once he was stepped out of the train he let excitement take over him, he let himself fully forget that he was stiff and cold pureblood Malfoy, right at that moment he was just a eleven year old boy who was starting his first year at the historical magic school.

Draco was in ave and first time in a really long time he felt something close to happiness and joy.

So far he loved this place he will be calling home for the next couple years.

And then he saw flash of these beautiful bright green eyes, right in front, next to the ground keeper.

Big smile playing over the boy’s lips, making his eyes shine even more behind some annoying, cheap glasses.

Draco want to memorize every little thing about this boy, he had no idea why, he just knew that he was drawn to Harry Potter and he let himself.

Draco frowned a bit when he saw with who Harry was laughing together. Red hair, worn out robes, it wasn’t hard to guess, Weasley.

Why, why, why?

Draco huff out annoyed breath before putting up his well mastered wall and walking to Harry.

That was his new friend, Weasley could go off and find some other to be friends with.

\- Potter. Nice to see you again. - Draco let his chin be held up a bit higher before turning with a snarl to Weasley. - Hey Weasley, 60’s called, they want their robes back. -

His snarling comment erupt into laughing fit around them making already red Weasley boy turn even more red.

But it also made all shine disappear from Harry’s green eyes and frown set over his face.

\- Leave him alone, Malfoy. He did nothing wrong to you. - Potter step up, deep from making something drop inside Draco’s stomach.

\- You should be friends with someone more worthy. - Draco said with his voice cold, he also understand in that very moment that he really didn’t like when Harry’s frown was because of him.

\- I think, I am good enough as I am. - Potter’s tone turning a bit cold too.

Draco frown but before he could say anything a profesor come to lead them to the sorting.

Draco didn’t really understand what he was feeling in that moment, he simply couldn’t put his finger on it.

But one thing he did know well, he hated being turned down.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Getting reviews would be lovely. Thank you!


	3. Be My Friend.

**Be My Friend.**

 

Draco spend most of his free time trying to learn Potter. How he moved, what he liked, when his eyes burn bright with joy. 

He tried his best to study all the small details of Potter.

Soon Draco start to ache more so he was ready to do crazy things just to get a reaction out of Harry, whatever that reaction was.

So he use his sassy side and sass his way through school and through Harry.

He knew that he was walking on thin ice but what else could he do?

He just wanted Harry to be his friend, he wanted Harry to notice him.

So far he have earned only frowns and hateful looks from Harry but Draco was sure that he will earn Harry’s friendship.

He just didn’t know how.

So when Draco finally got home on Christmas break he couldn’t wait to sit down in his room with Dobby and talk all this out.

He missed Dobby so much.

So when loud crack noise come Draco didn’t even wait and throw himself around Dobby’s small body, crushing him in sobbing hug.

\- Oh, my dear young master, Draco. - Dobby gasp out, big grin spreading over his face while he tried to hold already too tall boy in his bony arms.

\- I missed you too damn much. I can’t without you. - Draco let all his guards down, letting choked sob escape his pink lips.

\- I missed you too, my sweet boy. It’s all right, you are home now, no need to cry or Dobby will start to cry too. Dobby don’t like when his young master Draco is crying. - Dobby hold Draco a bit tighter, trying to calm soft sobs that escape Draco’s lips.

\- I know, I know. I just didn’t think that school will be so hard. And not learning but all friend making thing. - Draco sigh, wiping away a stray tear off of his cheek.

\- Oh my, were they not treating Draco right? - Dobby asked in soft anger.

\- No, no, they are fine and all, no one will really do anything to me since I’m a Malfoy. I was talking about Harry Potter. He rejected me. He choose to be friends with Weasley and Granger and not me. And all I get from him are frowns and hateful looks. And I just, you know how I can be. - Draco hung his head low, now wanting to look Dobby in the eyes, feeling a bit ashamed.

\- Oh, my young master Draco. I am sure that he would love to be your friend, you just need to let him see the real you not the cascade you show to the world. You need to show him that you are more than just ice prince of Slytherin. - Dobby pet Draco’s soft hair, calming him down right away.

\- But what if he will just hurt me, Dobby? What if he is just like everyone else? - Draco finally lift his head a looked deep in Dobby’s eyes.

\- Well, from all you have told me about this boy, I am sure that he have a good heart and he won’t hurt you on purpose. And Draco, sometimes it is worth hurting for people you love. - Dobby said with full honesty setting peace into Draco’s heart.

\- I love you, Dobby. - Draco pulled Dobby in one more bone crushing hug.

\- I love you, Draco. - Dobby said with smile, hugging Draco with all love he could possibly pour into simple hug. 

The rest of that evening Draco spend sipping hot cocoa and telling Dobby all the small details that he have noticed about Harry. 

How suppurative he is, how he stand up to his friends and how he sucked at potions but was great at quidditch.

He just couldn’t help himself ranting on and on about all the small details and who was Dobby to stop him?

He loved how bright Draco’s eyes got with every mention of Harry and how his voice got a bit higher from excitement when he was showing and telling Dobby about Harry on quidditch pitch.

In the end of the evening Draco felt light headed from all the talking, he haven’t talked so much in months and he for once was happy with Dobby by his side.

It felt freeing to let all his guards down fully and just be himself, the real him.

Draco end falling asleep with his head in Dobby’s lap, Dobby stroking his hair in loving motion, calming down all the dark thoughts that wanted to sneak up Draco.

The rest of his christmas holiday was similar, he tried his best to spend most of his time up in his room talking or playing board games with Dobby.

It felt better than be all snappy with his father and being punished again.

Just before Christmas ball when Dobby was helping Draco put on a slick black suit his mother come into his room, all elegant in silk dress robes, her hair comb back making her outstanding cheek bones even sharper.

Draco loved his mother with all his heart and he loved seeing her so beautiful, he just wished that he could see the light in her eyes too, then her look would be perfect.

\- Draco. - Her mother breath out, stopping behind Draco.

Draco quickly nod at Dobby with a bit apologetic look before setting his cool gaze on his mother thought the mirror.

He tried his best not to flinch by how low Dobby kneeled in front of them before disappearing with loud crack.

\- Mother, you look really elegant. Enough shine from all the stones to compare the one that should come naturally from your eyes. - Draco start to put on a blood red bow tie.

\- Draco. Please. No need for that tonight. It’s christmas and this ball is important for your father. - Narcissa put her hands on Draco shoulders, turning him around and start to put the bow tie on herself with gentleness and love.

\- Of course. Important to buy some more place inside some other posh idiots asses. - Draco snapped but let his mother finish with bow tie.

He was cold and snappy but he loved every small touch his mother give him, his heart ache from how cold he was toward her when in reality all he wanted was to pull her in a hug and just pour out all his pain and get some motherly love in return.

\- Draco, please. Please try not to be like this tonight. Your father already is not in great mood, please don’t play with fire. I can’t watch you hurt again. It is killing me. - Narcissa’s eyes start to fog a bit clenching Draco’s heart even more.

\- I’m sorry, mum. - Draco pushed all his coldness aside and pulled her mother in hug, closing his eyes to just get lost in small moment of love when Narcissa’s arms wrapped around his body.

\- I love you, Draco. - His mother whisper in his ear, her voice softer than the silk she was wearing.

\- I love you so so much, mummy, I love you… - Draco hated himself for the broken sob that escape him, making tears poll in his eyes, his fingers clenching a bit tighter around his mother’s fragile body in fear that she will disappear any moment now.

Narcissa pat Draco’s hair before breaking the hug, tears in her eyes from hearing Draco’s words.

\- I will try my best. - Draco pushed all the walls back up, swiping all emotions off his face, lifting his chin a bit higher.

Narcissa’s heart broke seeing that but there was nothing she could do.

\- We’ll see you down in five. Guest are starting to arrive. - She turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

Draco grabbed the first thing he could and throw it against the closing door but before it could really smash it stopped and flew back in place.

\- Dobby! - Draco let out a low growl turning around to see Dobby standing there, his arms outstretched for Draco.

Draco huff out a breath and hugged Dobby, letting the tension go away.

After moment that felt too short, Dobby let go of Draco, looking him over and brushing non existent dust from his suit before smiling kindly at Draco.

\- It’s time to go downstairs, my young master Draco. Everything will be alright. I believe in you. - Dobby pat Draco’s cheek making a small smile break over Draco’s lips.

\- Thank you, Dobby, you always know how to calm me. - Draco pecked Dobby’s head before heading downstairs, putting up his walls with each step.

Draco actually manage to stay low key through the ball, being polite when needed and even sharing an official dance with his classmate Pansy who happen to attend the Malfoy ball with her ritch ass parents.

In the end Draco went up to his room without causing any trouble, finally striping down and just slipping in already warm bed and dozing off to sleep.

The next morning he start with a big smile when Dobby told him how proud he was of Draco.

It give Draco a bit of a hope. 

After all, he loved making Dobby happy.

Draco couldn’t wait to get back to the hogwarts but it also break him apart to leave Dobby for months again.

Draco spend last night almost without sleeping at all, cuddle with Dobby, whispering sweet nothings, simply enjoying the friendship they shared.

\- Don’t forget to give him a christmas gift you got for him. Every child love a gift. He will love it. And don’t forget about what we talked about. Just try be yourself with him. I am sure that he will want to be your friend, Draco. Now go, you don’t want to miss the train. I will wait for you when you will return. - Dobby smiled before softly pushing Draco to the door.

\- Thank you, Dobby! - Draco smiled before walking out of the room, plan ready on how to try make Harry be his friend.

When Draco got back in Hogwarts he couldn’t wait to meet Harry even when there were big chance that he will simply get hexed but that wasn’t important.

Draco watched Harry through the meal, following him with his eyes, watching how Harry and Weasley seem to have similar knitted jumpers on.

Draco have never had a knitted jumper.

He let his mind wander off of how soft or harsh it could feel against his skin and is it so warm as it look like?

Well, it must be comfy enough if Harry was wearing one.

When Potter stood up to leave with Weasley and Granger, Draco stood up too, he rushed behind them.

\- Potter! - Draco hiss so only Potter would hear him.

Harry stopped and looked back, frown setting over his face when he understand that Draco was the one calling him.

He hesitate only moment before telling his friends to go back to their common room and that he will be right back.

It must be something in Draco’s look that made Harry agree so easly.

\- What do you want, Malfoy? - Harry stopped in front of Draco, sounding bored.

\- To talk. Come. - Draco nod to empty alcove before sipping in there, waiting for Harry to follow and to his surprise, he did.

\- About what? I don’t think we really have something to talk about. - Harry sounded genuinely confused.

\- I just wanted to give you this. - Draco took out small box wrapped in silver wrapping paper with small green bow on top. - A christmas present for you. -

Draco tried his best to sound honest, to drop all his walls down or at least drop them low enough to be real.

\- A Christmas present? For me? Wh...what? - Harry was really confused, confusion written over his face making him even cuter.

\- Yes, for you. I am not the best wrapper but yeah. - Draco pushed the small gift toward Harry.

\- But why? - Harry asked in small voice before taking the gift in his hands.

\- Because I want to be your friend still and friends do give each other christmas presents. And I really wanted to give you a present. As my old friend said, every child love a present. So why not? - Draco thought about Dobby with small smile playing on his lips.

\- You are smiling… - Harry’s voice broke him out of his thoughts about Dobby.

\- What? Of course I can smile. - Draco start to frown but stopped himself before he could snap any further.

\- Yeah, but I mean, this time you smiled softly and so warm. You usually just plaster a smile on but it’s cold and don’t reach your eyes… - Harry start to ramble but stopped himself, small blush forming on his cheeks.

\- Oh, well, you are worth only real smiles. - Draco actually smiled, for real, loving how Harry’s eyes light up a bit and blush become a bit darker.

\- Thank you. But I don’t have a gift for you… I didn’t… I… - Harry stumble around his words.

\- It’s okay, I haven’t been really nice to you. You probably just wanted to hex me into next sunday than give me some present. It’s okay, really. But I do hope that you will like your, I didn’t have really much time to get anything and I don’t really know what you like outside quidditch so yeah… I hope you will like it. - Draco let shy smile play on his lips.

He knew that he was risking everything right now, showing up so vulnerable and shy, showing how soft he actually was behind his walls.

But he was ready to risk it all for Harry, if only they could become friends.

\- Thank you so much. Really. - Harry smiled at Draco, warming his heart.

\- I really do hope that we could be friends. I really like you Harry. - Draco couldn’t take his grey eyes off of Harry’s green ones.

\- Well… I… I don’t really like you being rude to my friends… So I… - Harry scratched the back on his neck, looking down.

\- I know, I just, - Draco sigh dropping the last ward he had up. - I’m jealous, okay? What you and Weasley, and Granger have, it is something that I have never had and I really wanted to be in their place, being your friend. So I did the only think that I know, I was bluntly rude and sass my way through it all. I am sorry, I really am. - 

Harry was looking him in shock, his mouth open in small o.

Draco wait patiently, studying his face while all the information seem to sink into Harry.

\- You are jealous of our friendship? You never had… But you have a lot of friends… - Harry burrow his brows in confusion, tilting his head slightly to the side.

\- They are friends but not real friends. You see, they mostly are with me just because I am a Malfoy, that’s all. Your friends are with you because of you. - Draco lean against the wall behind him, crossing arms over his chest.

\- Oh… Okay… We can try being friends. Just please try not to be so rude to my friends, okay? - Harry stepped closer to Draco.

\- I can try. - Draco let his arms drop by his sides.

\- I would like that. And thank you again for your gift! - Harry smiled big smile that light up all his face and made his eyes shine so bright.

\- Thank you. - Draco couldn’t help but break out into similar smile, feeling happiness pool inside his body, making him a bit light headed.

Harry Potter was his friend.


	4. Another Rejection.

**Another Rejection.**

 

It’s been a little over three months with stolen moments alone and being friendly to each other.

Draco loved every single moment that he spent with Harry alone, no matter if that was studying or playing around, he just loved to spend his time with the green eyed boy.

It broke Draco’s heart when his fellow Slytherin students throw stupid words against Harry or his friends.

He hated the look on Harry’s face, how his eyes dimmed in light, how smile changed to the frown.

But most of it, he hated the look Harry was giving him and how after practiculary hard day of harassing Harry would skip they studying friend time and not talk to Draco.

It usually end up with Draco pushing his walls extra high and got into arguments all over place with whoever got in the way.

Whenever Draco felt that hurt crawling in his chest he just pushed his walls high and turn all the pain into sass and anger.

It was just who he was.

But most days like that, he end cuddled in his bed with curtains shut and silencing spell up, tears streaming down his cheeks while he clutched pillow so tight that he was sure that it will rip in half, wishing that he could have Dobby there to talk, to hug and to simply be with.

Because Dobby always knew what was happening inside Draco without him even opening his mouth, he just knew.

And sometimes Draco thought that Dobby knew him better even than he knew himself.

And he let it happen because deep down he knew that he crave that love that the house elf was giving him without any conditions.

Yesterday happened to be one of that days, leaving Draco feeling empty.

In the morning he did everything feeling numb, moving like robot, not even paying attention of what he was doing, simply not caring and from yesterday everyone was leaving him alone, giving him some space or simply not daring to disturb him in case of getting hexed once more.

Draco didn’t feel like putting up with breakfast so instead he simply went outside to walk around before herbalogy.

Somehow he ended sitting in front of the lake, getting lost in water movements.

He didn’t hear the footsteps coming or the boy kneeling behind him.

He almost jumped into water when he felt warm arms wrap around him from behind, panic already setting inside his chest and warning bells ringing in his mind.

The one who was wrapping their arms around him set their chin on his shoulder.

Draco saw a flic of green and then when he breath in shaky breath he smell so familiar scent of the green eyed friend.

Draco relaxed in the touch right away, letting his body press a bit more against the boy’s chest.

He liked the calm that washed over him with every heartbeat he could feel against his back.

Draco turned his head and buried his face into messy curls breathing in already so familiar scent before turning to look back at the lake.

They stayed like that for a moment, not letting any sound escape, both watching how wind made water surface of the lake move.

\- You wasn’t at the breakfast so I got some for you. - So soft voice almost like whisper before the boy lifted his head up and let go of Draco.

Draco frowned at the sudden cold that washed over him, hatting how short the hug was but deep down knowing that it was already way too long that friends usually hug.

\- You didn’t need to do that. - Draco murmured turning to look at the boy with shining green eyes.

\- Oh, I did. You need to eat. Here, it’s nothing much, just couple sandwiches with different toppings and here, pumpkin juice. - The boy took out everything from his bag giving it all to Draco who took it, feeling grateful for how thoughtful it was.

\- Thank you so much, Harry. - Draco let small smile play over his lips before he start eating, already feeling how hungry he actually was and thanking Harry once again.

Without a second they start chatting, well, more like Harry was chatting and Draco was just humming time from time, nodding and finishing his breakfast, sharing pumpkin juice bottle with Harry.

Draco wanted to chat with Harry while eating but he couldn’t force himself to let out more than a hum or nod of his head. Years of learning it hard way of not talking while you eat made its impact on Draco even when he was just snacking and wasn’t sitting around the dining table with his father.

\- Are you free this afternoon? - Harry asked when Draco finished the last drop of the pumpkin juice they were sharing before vanishing the empty bottle to kitchens.

\- Yeah, why? - Draco wiped his mouth with handchiever before looking at Harry, seeing small spark into the pools of green.

\- I was just wondering maybe you would like to study together with me, or let me be more clear, play around, like play some games or something casual. - Draco couldn’t help a smile start spreading over his lips as he watched a shy smile play over Harry’s lips.

\- I would be honored to spend this evening with you. - Draco understand that now he was almost grinning.

\- Then let’s meet on the fifth floor near that troll tapestry after dinner. - Harry smiled even winder.

\- Good. - Draco let himself get a bit lost into these green, shining eyes and that smile before he remembered where they were and that they still had lessons to attend.

Draco checked time letting a silent curse word escape before jumping up and grabbing his things.

\- We are so late to the class! It started two minutes ago! Why are you laughing? Get your ass up and let’s go! - Draco burrow his brows when Harry was just laughing harder.

\- What? Why are you laughing? - Draco pulled the laughing boy up.

\- So late, just two minutes. Draco, so late would mean that we are like 30 minutes late not just two. - Harry clutched arm over his stomach before pushing his book bag on his shoulder. - Oh, this is so funny, Sirius will laugh his ass off. - 

\- Who? Wh...What? - Draco was now frowning.

\- C’moon, Sassy, we are late to our class. - Harry tugged softly on his arm making Draco follow him, still chuckling and shaking his head, leaving Draco even more amused.

\- You are weird. -

\- Are you are Sassy as heck. -

\- What’s wrong with sass? -

\- And What’s wrong with weird? - Harry stopped turning to look at Draco, grinning like mad and making Draco break out into chuckles too.

\- Idiot. - 

\- Foopy. -

\- A what now? - 

\- I don’t know. - Harry shrugged. - Sometimes it’s just come out. Like some weird word instead of cursing or something like that. It’s more fun. - 

\- You really are weird, Potter. - Draco shaked his head before starting to walk again, smile still playing on his lips.

\- But you are smiling, so it did work. - Harry bumped his shoulder against Draco’s, earning a bump back.

They walked all the way too the greenhouses bumping against each other and chuckling like mad only stopping in the entry of the greenhouses and collecting themselves.

Well, more like Draco collecting himself and leaving Harry laughing again before walking into the greenhouse and apologizing for being late before taking his usual place in between his friends.

Draco apologize too before stopping in his place near Parkinson and starting to do the class work right away.

 

The day went by quite quickly but maybe it just felt like that because Draco was eager to spend all his evening just fooling around with Harry and once again actually feel like eleven years old child.

Draco couldn’t stop sharing looks with Harry over dinner before standing up and walking to the fifth floor, waiting for Harry to get there.

And when he saw the messy mop of dark hair turn the corner he couldn’t help but a grin appear on his lips.

\- Oi, oi! - Draco couldn’t help but call out, sending Harry into laughing fit right away.

\- You’re a fool, Malfoy. - Harry softly pushed against Draco’s shoulder, keeping to walk straight down the corridor.

\- Where are we spending our evening today? - Draco couldn’t keep the excitement out of his voice.

\- Astronomy tower, it will be empty today so we can spend our time in peace plus we will have a great panoram. - Harry looked at Draco giving him soft smile with something glinting in his eyes before starting to run.

Draco laugh and start to catch Harry that soon turned into trying to outrun Harry and get to the tower first.

They were out of breath when they finally got into the tower but still break into laughing, both dropping down on the floor, tears of joy streaming down their swollen cheeks.

\- You’re going to drive me crazy, Potter. - Draco chuckle out when they finally have got enough air in their lungs.

\- Oh, shut up, you enjoy this even more than I do. Admit it, Malfoy. - Harry rolled over to face Draco.

\- Never! - Draco faked gasp and gripped his chest.

\- Oh, then you don’t give me other choice than to torture it out of you! - Harry’s voice have dropped lower, faking evil but almost failing to laugh.

Draco was holding back his own laugh but something inside him flinch at the word torture, all too familiar causing something dark slip through his brain.

In a split second Harry was launching at Draco, big grin over his face, starting to tickle Draco.

All dark was replaced by pure joy, Draco laugh and tried to tickle Harry right back.

After who know how many minutes they were both laying on their sides, arms and legs a tangled mess, both gasping for breaths with soft chuckles escaping there and here, faces wet and red from laughing way too hard.

Draco loved these moments.

In these simple childish moments he was free, he was just another boy, another child, not a Malfoy. 

They were gazing into each other eyes, them shining with joy and softness that Draco didn’t know could be showed toward him.

\- House elves will have some serious questions about how we manage to ruin our robes so much. - Draco shake his head just imagining what his parents would say, he would probably be punished without any mercy from his father.

\- You know quite a lot about robes, don’t you? At least that’s how it sounded the first time we met. - Harry propped himself up on one elbow, resting his head in the open palm, staring down at Draco.

\- My secret pleasure is shopping and fashion. I enjoy them quite a lot. And well, these kind of conversations can’t really fail in a clothing shop, can they? But well, I guess that I actually did fail because you looked just so confused. - Draco let out another laugh at the memory that already seem so far away.

\- I was, you caugt me by surprise. - Harry laugh too, fondle smile spreading over his lips.

\- But well, after all I did get what I want, I got you as my friend. - Draco smirked nudging Harry in the shoulder.

\- Wait, early in the morning when you were laughing about me, you mentioned someone, who was he? - Draco propped himself up mirroring Harry’s pose, actually being curios.

\- Sirius? He’s my god father. I’m living with him. - Something shifted in Harry’s pools of green, filling with something like fondness and love.

\- Oh, is he muggle? Mum mentioned something about you being raised as muggle. - Draco couldn’t stop himself before it was too late, he knew that he really shouldn’t be talking about muggle things but this was Harry, his safe spot, he couldn’t really be judging him, could he?

\- You’re mum talked about me? - Harry burrow his brows in confusion.

\- Em, yeah… I just asked her why you seem so clueless in the shop right after I met you… - Draco stumble over his words, wanting to kick himself.

\- Oh, well, no, I was not raised as muggle. Sirius is not a muggle but we do enjoy quite a lot of muggle things. Like oh, a motorbike! It is so cool to ride one! Remus always panic when Sirius let me ride one by myself but it is just so much fun. Maybe not as much as flying but almost as much. You will need to try it one day too! - Excitement sparked Harry’s green eyes making them shine even brighter.

\- A motowhat? Am I suppoust to know what that thing is? - Draco felt a bit like fool.

\- Oh, right, I will get some photo to show you how it look like. - Harry softly nudged Draco again, earning the matching nudge back till they both was rolling around the ground once again, laughing like crazy.

After couple hours they were sitting against one of the arch, watching how stars start to paint the sky, simply enjoying the soft breeze messing up their already messy hair and each other’s warmth from their pressed together sides.

They were sharing yet another chocolate that Harry have pulled out of his pocket after their fooling around, saying to get some energy back in their bones.

\- Why do you always have a chocolate with you? Where do you get so many of them anyway? - Draco asked taking another bite of a soft milk chocolate that’s brand he didn’t know.

\- Remus send me some every other day, he love chocolate and say that it always help so he make sure to always give me some too. Sirius always joke that Remus will just turn me diabetic from all the sweetness but well, he actually love that. - Harry’s eyes shined with love and softness once again.

\- They seem like taking a good care of you. - Draco smiled, taking another bite of the chocolate. - What is this chocolate? I haven’t eated it before. But well, mum have only give me ones from france best shop… -

\- This one is from muggle shop, simple cheap chocolate. But tasty as heck. - Harry grinned before snapping the last piece in half and giving half to Draco before eating his.

\- Oh, that’s why it seem so different, but yes, it is tasty. - Draco smiled before looking up at the stars again.

They stayed silent for a moment longer, comfotable silence.

That Draco really liked about Harry, they could just sit in silence and it would be a comfortable one, they didn’t really need to fill the space with talking.

\- Harry, can I ask you something? - Draco turned his to look at Harry who’s eyes shine in yet another different shade of green because of all the stars he was watching.

\- Of course. Shoot it out. - Harry didn’t take his eyes off of the stars.

\- Will you please spend the easter break with me? Like visiting me and staying with me? - Draco was a bit unsure about asking and he didn’t know the reason behind it, he just was.

\- Oh… I’m not sure if that’s a good idea Draco… - Harry turned to look at Draco, something glinting in his eyes, something so familiar to Draco that he hated so much because he have seen it in his own mother’s eyes way too many times, pity, Draco hated it.

\- Why not? - Draco knew that he should just shut up and not push this but it just was who he was, pushing till it was way too late.

\- Well… I’m not exactly sure how your parents would take that because like… em… I… - Harry was stumbling over his words, that damn pity still playing in his eyes.

\- Because I’m a Malfoy. - Draco finished it for Harry, feeling all the emotions being wiped away from his own pale face, walls starting to rise once again.

\- Draco, no. I mean, yeah, but like… - 

\- Drop it. No need for it. - Draco cut him off and stand up, brushing some of the dirt off of his already ruined robes. - It’s late, I’m going to sleep. -

Without another word Draco turned on his heal and marched down the stairs.

He felt so distantly familiar pain somewhere deep in his chest but he tried to ignore it.

Of course, what did he think, of course Harry shiny Potter won’t want to be with Malfoy.

What an idiot he was by fooling himself into believing that he could be friends with the chosen one.

Draco curse himself all the way till he got to his bed, dropping his robes without care, he will ask his mother to take him buy new ones in the break.

Draco was so mad at himself that he didn’t even have time to cry before he was already asleep just to be greeted with gloomy nightmares he was so familiar with.

 


	5. Friends?

**Friends?**

 

Draco was so mad and upset that he ignore literally everything and everyone, just forcing himself to focus to his classies and homeworks for all 100%. 

That meant also pushing his own emotions down, pushing all needs down.

Draco was skipping most meals, simply not feeling up to it.

It didn’t do much for him since he was used to skipping his meals after some hard punishment his father have put him through yet again.

It also end up on him fully ignoring Harry, not even bumping into him once.

Draco wasn’t mad at Harry, he was mostly mad at his father and with Harry, well, he was simply hurt on that part.

Draco knew that he needed to learn to accept rejections but what can you expect from someone who have grown up in a pureblood family, listening all the time to all the norms how they are better and deserve everything their heart desire.

But Draco couldn’t help himself, he just couldn’t.

He was used to wanting to hurt in return when something hurt him and he knew that it will hurt Harry to simply ignore him, act like he didn’t know the golden boy.

When they finally arrived at the train station he saw Harry getting out of the train and almost run to the man in a leather jacket, black hair pulled up in a bun, earring dangling down his ear, next to him standing a bit not so jump out man, scars covering his face and little worn out suit jacket draped over his shoulders, one arms softly put around the leather jacket man’s waist in loving maniere.

Harry almost jumped in their arms, big smile splitting his face in half.

It was a bit amusing to watch the scene unfold in front of him, so loving and caring.

A light peck being pressed against Harry’s head before letting Harry go all laughing.

Something dark and hot start nibbling Draco’s chest making him frown.

Jealousy.

Draco frown a bit more before turning to look around just to see that his parents haven’t bother to pick him up.

Of course, they will have sent some of their house elves.

Draco slowly made his way to the back where he knew that his house elf will be waiting.

He stopped frozen when he saw just who they have sent to get him.

\- Dobby! - Draco tried his best to mask his excitement seeing his best friend right there, couple feet away.

It took Draco all his will power to not just run and crush himself against Dobby into big hug.

\- My young master, Draco. - Dobby kneeled down with a small smile playing over his lips, one hand outstretched for Draco.

Draco took the hold of it and closed his eyes when so familiar soft flutter run through him.

When he open his eyes he already was in his room, Dobby pulling him into hug, letting Draco sink fully against him and just enjoy being in his best friend’s arms.

\- I missed you so so much, you can’t even imagine. - Draco sigh, slowly relaxing.

\- I miss you, my young master, Draco. So, tell me how have you been doing since christmas and all that have happened. I am happy to listen. - Dobby stroked Draco’s hair softly, relaxing him even more.

Draco felt safe in Dobby’s arms, he felt being home.

Draco went on ranting about all what have happened, not missing the smallest detail, spending extra time to explain all the time he have spent with Harry, already missing the green eyed boy.

Draco stopped shortly before dinner, simply cuddling against Dobby and enjoy being there with him.

\- Dinner is ready, you should go down to eat, my young master Draco. - Dobby give a small peck against Draco’s forehead before getting up, opening the doors for Draco.

\- Thank you, Dobby, thank you for it all. - Draco felt lighter, going down the stairs with almost something like happiness bubbling inside him.

But then he stopped short, there were no dinner on the table, when he followed the voice of his parents into one of the sitting rooms he froze again and frowned.

There were suitcases put neatly next to his mother’s feet.

A traveling cloak pulled over her and another cluthed in her hands.

The room fell to silence when Draco come in, both his parents looking at him, Lucius with harsh look of how he dared to disturb and his mother with something more apologetic.

Lucius only nood before marching out of the room.

Narcissa sigh before stepping closer to Draco and hugging him shortly before putting a traveling cloak around him.

\- Where are we going? - Draco asked picking up on of the suitcases so his mother wouldn’t need to carry both of them.

\- To our villa in France. Your father have some business ideas to do so we will spend your break together there while he is working. - Narcissa answer without even looking at Draco, already pushing him into the floo.

Not giving any time to answer she stepped inside too, gripping his hand and calling out the needed location.

Draco end up spending his break kinda pleasant, chilling in France with his mother.

He actually enjoyed going to different shops with Narcissa, he missed this quality time spending with his mum.

Draco finally felt like a child who actually was having a loving mum. 

Draco would have loved to spend some time with Dobby too but he was taken straight to the train station after stepping through floo from France.

Draco needed to just glance to the side to see the lovely family time going on around Potter who couldn’t stop smiling.

Draco frown once again before stepping into train and making his way to the usual place in the train, already pulling out a book to read for a bit but not couple minutes after train start to move someone opened the door to the compartment where Draco was sitting.

\- Sod off or get hexed. - Draco snapped without even looking up from his book, he really wasn’t feeling up to listening to some slytherin pureblood bullshit right now.

\- Not the best way to greet a friend that you haven’t saw in a while. - Potter’s voice made Draco look up in surprise.

\- What are you doing here? - Draco didn’t meant to snap but it come out that way anyway.

Harry just close the door and sit down in front of Draco.

\- I wanted to see you, spend some time with you. -

\- Oh, please! Crap the shit already and sod off. - Draco was starting to get annoyed now.

\- Draco, stop. I am sorry, okay? I felt bad for not spending the break with you. I missed you. - Harry sound almost pleading, making Draco only frown more.

\- Oh, yeah, right. Now sod off, will you? - Draco turned back to his book.

What happened next surprise Draco so much that he let out a hight pitched sqeek.

Harry have jumped over and was actually kinda hugging Draco with his whole body or more like squishing him into the seat, simply being all over Draco, not letting go.

And no matter how much Draco wanted to hate the feeling, he felt his own body relax under the warm pressure.

Without even noticing Draco wrapped his arms around Harry, nuzzling his face against Harry’s neck.

They didn’t have any idea for how long they spend sitting, well, half laying down, like that but it somehow grow into trying to tickle each other and soon enough the small space was filled with their laughter leaving both boys with flush red cheeks and panting a bit.

It didn’t end there either, they kept fooling around almost all the way to the Hogwarts.

\- So, are we friends again? - Harry asked with cheeky grin over his lips, holding Draco down by sitting on top of him and holding his arms above his head.

\- Yes. Yes you fool. - Draco laugh, pulling his hands free and pushing Harry off, tickling him some more. - Actually it is good that you didn’t agree to come, I spent the whole break in France with my mum anyway. -

\- That’s so cool! Do you travel to France a lot? - Harry actually sit up in curiosity.

\- Well, I could say that. We have a villa there. It’s nice. I will show you one day. - Draco smiled before standing up and brushing away the dirt from his robes.

\- Okay. - Harry was grinning before pulling Draco into yet another bone crushing hug, surprising him again.

\- You really like hugging, don’t you? - Draco tease, hugging Harry back.

\- Yeah, they are relaxing. - Harry smiled before letting Draco go and stepping closer to the door. - I’ll see you in school, okay? -

\- Yeah, thank you, Harry. - Draco let one more smile spread over his lips before Harry was gone leaving Draco alone yet again.

 


	6. We Need To Do Something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to you and got a beta starting from this chapter.  
> Thank you to my lovely beta - @WordsAblaze !

**We Need To Do Something.**

 

The rest of the school year was more or less fantastic.

Draco spent almost every possible break together with Harry and, since it was getting warmer and warmer, it was a lot easier to meet up because they could just go for a stroll around the lake and then spend hours in their space behind the trees, simply enjoying themselves.

Over those couple of months, they grew a lot closer, no matter how surprising it actually was.

They did have a couple of arguments but they were really small, soon forgotten; it seemed that they couldn’t stay away from each other.

It was an hour before they needed to leave for the train to go home for summer break and they were lying down in the soft grass under a big tree near the lake.

They were trying to catch their breaths after yet another wrestling round, their tummies aching from laughing.

Draco slowly rolled onto his side to face Harry, watching for a moment how the sun made Harry’s green eyes even brighter.

\- I will miss you a lot, you know… - Draco let out, soft as a whisper, slightly afraid of what his words could do.

\- I will miss you too. A lot. - Harry rolled on his side to face Draco, looking straight into his pale gray eyes.

\- Maybe… Well, maybe we could write each other at least? - Draco tried his best not to let hope cut through his words.

\- Of course! I would love that! - Harry sat up with a big smile. - I was actually about to suggest the same thing. It just seems so crazy to not hear from you all summer, you know? -

\- Yeah, it will be a bit weird, won’t it? - Draco slowly sat up too, resting his back against the tree behind them.

\- A bit, but it will be okay. We’ll just owl each other all the time and maybe sometime we could meet up at Diagon Alley too. -

\- That would be cool. - Draco answered with a smile but deep down, a weird unsettling feeling that he just knew won’t mean anything good was starting to pool.

Harry seemed to buy his smile and just pulled out yet another chocolate from his pocket and shared it with Draco, simply sitting there, enjoying the silence, watching  small waves over the lake.

When it was time to leave, Draco got up, said a brief goodbye, and started to walk away but was pulled right back by his sleeve.

And then Harry was hugging him.

Draco closed his eyes, enjoying the small hug before letting go and walking to the train.

 

 Draco wasn’t surprised to see Harry run straight into a tall man’s arms, a wide grin spreading over their lips. Only this time the second man wasn’t with them and there was something sad in the black-haired man’s eyes, just a glimpse slipping by inbetween the smiles he gave Harry.

And once again Draco felt a stab of jealousy.

He didn’t know why exactly. 

Was it because his parents would never greet him with such love or was it because he already was missing Harry being by his side and seeing someone else interact with him in such a lovely way made him cold inside?

Draco shook his head to try and shake all the weird thoughts out of it before starting to walk in the opposite direction, ignoring all the happy families around.

Draco was shocked to see his mother actually standing to the side, a small smile playing over her lips when Draco finally noticed her.

\- Mother…? - Draco let out a gasp, not believing his eyes.

He couldn’t help but walk a bit faster, feeling that familiar ache to get closer to his mother, to hug her and feel her warmth seep into his cold body.

\- Draco. - She greeted him, opening her arms.

\- Where is Father? - Draco glanced around, not sure if he could actually hug his mother right here and right now, no matter how much he wanted to just do that.

\- Home. Now come here. You have grown so much in these past couple of months. - Narcissa pulled Draco into a soft hug, making Draco literally melt into her arms.

Sharp stinging in his eyes made Draco step back and raise his chin a bit higher. He couldn’t let himself break at the train station in front of everyone.

\- Let’s go home. - Narcissa sighed with a hint of sadness slipping over her eyes.

Draco hated to do this to his mother, he hated to hurt her but he just couldn’t let himself be all soft. It wasn’t how the purebloods were supposed to be in public, or ever.

When they got home Draco spent the rest of the evening in his room, waiting for Dobby to finally pop up.

Draco felt anxious with every passing minute that he spent alone in his room.

He called for Dobby but there was no answer.

Draco couldn’t stop himself feeling a bit betrayed by this.

Dobby was supposed to greet him right after Draco stepped into the manor.

Draco just sighed with growing sadness and made himself to go down to  dinner.

In a couple of short sentences, Draco told his parents how he had spent the rest of his school year, accidentally slipping in a few things about Potter and how he had been incredible in quidditch.

\- Well, next year you will be the new seeker for the Slytherin team and then you will be the best player in Hogwarts. - His father said in his cold tone, without even asking Draco if he wanted that.

\- First I need to get on the team, father. - Draco let out matter-of-factly.

\- You already are. I will buy the whole team new brooms, better than Potter’s one. So there is no need for you to worry. - His father snapped back in an even colder tone, making something inside Draco flinch.

\- Yes, father. - Draco looked down at his plate, not daring to speak anymore for the rest of the evening.

Draco was grateful when Narcissa sent him up to his room to go to sleep.

He had mixed emotions fighting inside him like a hurricane.

\- My young master, Draco. - Dobby knelt in front of him right after Draco stepped into his room.

\- Dobby! - Draco wanted to be angry, he wanted to snap at Dobby but all he could do was feel relieved and run straight into Dobby’s arms, knocking them both off  the ground. - I missed you so much! -

Draco let his guard down and let tears spill over, wetting Dobby’s old shirt-like thing.

Dobby held him through his breakdown, whispering sweet nothings into his ear and playing with his hair until Draco passed out from exhaustion.

The next couple of days Draco spent outside in the warm sun, simply fooling around with Dobby.

Draco loved flying around and trying to catch the balls Dobby threw at him.

His father didn’t say anything about this because in the first evening Draco had snapped that he needed to train for his position in the team if his father wanted him to actually be the best.

That had completely shut his father up, letting Draco simply enjoy the sunny days with his best friend.

One day when Draco stepped inside with windswept hair and red cheeks, his father was looking through the mail.

\- Draco. - His father’s tone was colder than usual, washing away the pleasant feeling Draco had gotten from the joyful day outside with Dobby.

\- Yes, father. - Draco stepped closer.

\- Who is writing you letters? - Lucius held up a letter, looking straight into Draco’s eyes.

\- Probably someone from school, some friends or something. - Draco’s heart started to beat faster and faster with every passing second.

He knew who was writing him, he recognised that messy handwriting, he just couldn’t let his father look into that letter.

But just his luck that that’s what happened: Lucius ripped open the letter and scanned it with his cold eyes.

\- What in the name of merlin is this? How dare the Potter boy write to you and call you friend? - Lucius’ ice-cold eyes cut into Draco, making his breath catch.

\- We got closer in school and become friends, father. He isn’t as you thought he would be. He is actually a really nice boy. - Draco tried to hold onto the last straws he could grab, seeing his father’s expression cloud darker and darker.

\- How Dare You? - He spat out every word, stepping closer to Draco, scrunching the letter up in his hand.

\- Father, I… He and I… We… He really isn’t that bad… I swear, he is nice and polite and… and… - Draco knew that he was stumbling over his own words and only making his father angrier.

And then the familiar sting came and the disgusting taste of metal polluted his mouth.

\- Speak clearly when you are speaking to a superior. - His father said in a cold tone, already raising his walking stick up for another hit.

Draco lifted his chin up a bit, looking straight at his father, greeting the next hit without flinching.

Draco was fighting the stinging tears that wanted to start running down his swollen cheeks.

\- You will NOT be friends with Harry Potter! -

Another hit, stronger this time, making Draco’s knees buckle a bit, but Draco stayed standing and turned his aching head to keep looking straight at his father.

\- Purebloods are not friends with enemies! -

One more stronger hit, making Draco sway a bit more, it was a lot harder to stay standing and focus his look at his father, his vision going blurry.

\- You are pureblood and you will live up to it! -

Another hit. This time Draco actually fell to his knees and barely had any energy to raise his head up to look at his father.

\- Understand? -

Lucius gripped Draco’s bloody chin in a deathly grip, forcing Draco to look straight into his eyes.

\- Yes, father. - Draco tried to make his words come out clearly even when every word was catching on the blood pooling in his mouth and spilling over his lips, dripping down his chin and over his father’s cold fingers.

\- Speak clearly! - Lucius let go of Draco’s face, raising his hand for another hit.

\- Yes, father. - Draco let out right before another hit sent him crashing to the ground without a breath in his lungs.

\- Clean up. Dinner will be in ten minutes. - Lucius wiped off the blood from his hands and the metal head of his cane before walking away.

Draco wanted to cry but instead he slowly pushed himself up before his mother could catch a glimpse of him lying in a pool of his own blood.

His head was throbbing in pain, making him dizzy and his vision foggy.

\- Draco! - Narcissa’s voice cut through Draco’s daze, making him push harder to get up.

\- I’m fine, mother. - Draco snapped, trying his best to make his voice to sound strong and not break.

\- Baby… - Narcisa let out, almost without any sound at all, helping Draco get up.

Draco tried to get out of her reach.

\- I will ruin your clothes… - He let out, already knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get to his room on his own.

\- I don’t care. Come ‘ere. - Narcissa pulled him closer and for once Draco let himself be crushed against his mother.

\- I just wanted to have one normal friend… - He choked on a sob, spluttering some blood onto his mother’s lovely blouse.

\- I know, I know. Everything’s going to be alright, my boy. Shhh. - Narcissa held him while Draco was sobbing, making blood seep into his mother’s clothes, together with his tears.

Draco let himself be broken for a moment, letting his mother hold her broken boy without him pulling back.

Draco just wanted to be normal for one moment.

He didn’t even notice when his streaming tears stopped and his gasps for breath calmed down, he just held onto his mum like there was no tomorrow, letting himself get fully lost.

 

In the morning when he woke up, his head still ached a bit but not as much as he was expecting it to.

Draco slowly opened his eyes to see that he was in his room, lying in his bed, dressed in black silk pajamas. 

Draco groaned before slowly lifting his fingers up to his face and ghosting them over his beaten side only to find it already smooth.

It made Draco jump up from bed, or at least try to, he was still slow with moving.

He looked into his full-sized mirror to see his face back to normal, pale and without any marks, just a bit more tired.

Only when he had spent five minutes looking over the side that had been hit last night did he see that the skin there was a bit more yellowish, announcing an already-healing bruise.

Draco huffed out a breath before slowly stretching his tired muscles.

Draco didn’t even want to go downstairs or get dressed but he also didn’t want to go through his father’s anger once again.

When Draco stepped downstairs he followed his mother’s hushed voice to  one of the sitting rooms only to freeze in place right at the corner, listening closely.

\- He is your son, Lucius! Son! You can’t treat him like a house elf! - An angry note was ringing through Narcissa’s voice.

\- He needs to learn. You know it. - Lucius’ voice was bored.

Draco could fully imagine him sitting in the leather seat with a firewhiskey glass in one hand, a bored look over his face.

\- He’s just a boy! - Narcissa’s voice rose an octave.

Draco took a step back, he was so taken aback by his mother losing her calm stance and actually raising her voice.

Draco turned and ran before his parents could catch him eavesdropping on their conversation.

Draco sat down in the open living room, not really knowing if he was allowed to go to breakfast and also wanting to stay away from his parents for a bit longer.

Soon enough his mother’s soft footsteps came into earshot, making his fingers clench a bit tighter around the armrests of the seat he was in.

\- Draco, you’re up early. - She came and stood next to him, greeting him with a polite smile.

\- Good morning, mother. - Draco put all his walls up to keep his neutral tone.

\- Come to breakfast. - Narcissa sighed before walking away.

Draco took a couple of deep breaths before following his mother.

At least he got to have breakfast before he would need to face his father’s anger.

And he was right, after breakfast Lucius rested more comfortably into his chair and looked over Draco.

\- You won’t write or receive any letters connected to Potter. That is an order. - 

\- Yes, father. - Draco stayed still, not daring to move.

Lucius rose without saying anything else and went to his office, letting the door slam shut and making Draco flinch.

\- Draco… - Narcissa tried to reach Draco with a soft voice.

\- No need. No need for it, mother. I’ll be in my room. - Draco stood up and slowly started to walk up to his room.

He stopped shortly at his father’s office door just to hear angry muttering from the other side.

All he could make out was “getting done”, “Potter”, and “he will pay for it” .

Draco almost ran to his room and took out a piece of parchment and feather.

_ Please don’t write to me anymore. _

_ Will explain later. _

_ Sorry! _

_ D.Malfoy _

\- Dobby! - 

\- Yes, my young master, Draco? - Dobby kneeled in front of him.

\- Please take this note and send it, without anyone knowing, to Harry Potter. - Draco gave the small rolled-up note to Dobby, knowing that he was the safest option.

\- Of course, Dobby will do. Also, here, Dobby wanted to make my young master, Draco, smile. - Dobby took a small pack of Draco’s favorite chocolates out of his pocket, making Draco smile.

\- Ah, Dobby, you know me the best. Thank you buddy. - Draco gave Dobby a soft hug before letting Dobby go and do his job.

 

Whenever Draco tried to go downstairs that day he was rushed back upstairs by important and angry talks from his father who seemed to be working on something important.

So Draco skipped lunch and then dinner, the next day going the same.

The only reason he overcame his hunger was because Dobby snuck some food up to his room.

After a week where Draco completely gave up  walking out of his room. Narcissa walked up to him.

\- Draco, honey. - She stepped closer to him, brushing a strand of his messy hair out of his eyes.

\- What does he want this time? - Draco huffed out a breath.

\- We will spend the rest of the summer in our France villa. - Narcissa dropped her hand by her side.

\- And why is that? - Draco sat back down on one of the puffy sofas he had in his bedroom.

\- Because your father is working on something and since you don’t even come out of your room, I thought that it would be best for all of us if we spent some time in France, leaving your father to work in peace. I really don’t like how you are locking yourself up in your room. -

What Narcissa said fully shocked Draco.

All summer without his father? Could that be true?

\- Just you and me? Can we take Dobby too? I need my house elf. Well, he is practically mine anyway, so yeah, I need him. - Draco tried his best not to let his voice sound too cheerful.

\- Uh, yeah, okay. You can take Dobby with you. Please get dressed and come downstairs, we are leaving in ten minutes. Ask Dobby to pack your bag. - Narcissa turned to go away without saying another word.

\- Dobby! We are going to France! - Draco jumped up and down like a little kid full of joy.

He would be free of his father for the whole summer!

\- Everything for my young master, Draco. - Dobby knelt before starting to gather Draco’s stuff, a smile playing over his lips because of how cheerful Draco was.

Draco almost ran down to greet his mother, he was so ready to leave the manor for summer.

\- I will get it done. Trust me, Narcissa, trust me. He would want this and I need to get this done. - Lucius was talking in a hushed voice, holding Narcissa by her shoulders.

\- Lucius… - Narcissa’s eyes found Draco before she could say anything more. - Draco, darling. -

Lucius dropped his arms by his sides, turning to look at Draco with his chin raised high and, without saying another word, he left the room.

Draco didn’t say anything, he just stepped closer to his mother and took her hand, ready to leave.

When they stepped into their villa in France, Draco let go of his mother’s hand, turning to look at her.

\- What was he talking about right before I walked in the room? -

 - You don’t need to worry about it. Just enjoy your summer here. - Narcissa stepped closer, pulling Draco in a brief hug, planting a small kiss on top of his head before walking away to arrange lunch for them.

After that day, no matter how much Draco tried, he just couldn’t help himself getting all worried because he was sure that his father was planning something to do with Harry.

\- Dobby, whatever it is, you need to do everything you can to help stop it and protect Harry. Do you understand? Just protect him like you would protect me, and even more. - Draco pulled Dobby close one evening, looking at him with honesty and fear in his eyes.

\- I promise to do my best, my young master Draco. Dobby promises. -

  
  



	7. What Are You Doing Here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta - @WordsAblaze

**What Are You Doing Here?**

 

The first thing that greeted Draco when he stepped into the manor was a sharp slap right against his cheek that echoed through the empty halls and caused  tears to sting his pale eyes.

-Nice to see you too, Father. - Draco couldn't help but snap, raising his chin up a bit and looking straight into Lucius' cold eyes.

That earned him another slap, slightly sharper this time, making his head snap to one side with an ugly crack and pain shoot through his spine.

-Lucius. - Narcissa's voice was calm but sharp and it was all it took for Lucius to lower his raised hand and push non-existent dirt off of his robes before he turned on his heel and left.

\- What did you tell him? - Draco now turned to his mother with the growing anger of betrayal.

\- Draco… - his mother sighed.

\- You told him that I sent one sodding latter, didn't you? Of course you did! Well thank you, the slapping was so enjoyable that I can't wait to feel the taste of blood once again. - Draco sassed at his mother, hot flames fuming inside his chest, licking and boiling venom that he was ready to spit out at anyone who dared to step close.

Draco didn't wait for the reply or hurt look from his mother, he simply stormed up to his room, slamming the door shut with all the force he could without actually breaking the door.

He knew that the loud sound would echo through the halls and prove to his father that simple slaps didn't do anything to Draco.

Draco was ready to destroy, he was just so angry.

He hated betrayal! He hated it.

Secretly, he was happy that his father had taken his wand because right now, Draco felt like he would’ve practiced some nasty spells and hexes without a care.

Instead, Draco screamed, grabbing the first object he could reach, which happened to be a vase, and throwing it against the door with all the force he could, sending sharp glass pieces flying to the ground.

Hot tears started to run down his cheeks without his permission and within seconds, Draco was a crying mess.

A loud cracking noise made Draco jump a bit and look up just to see Dobby stretching out his arms for Draco.

Without a care Draco crawled into them and closed his eyes, letting all the tears come out.

Dobby softly petted Draco’s hair while he calmed down, holding him close through all the shivers.

\- Harry Potter is okay, Dobby is making sure of it. My young Master Draco doesn’t need to worry, Dobby is doing all he can to keep Harry Potter safe. - Dobby murmured in Draco’s ear after most of Draco’s shivering had stopped.

\- Thank you… - Draco murmured before slipping into a restless sleep.

 

The next day was shopping day and Draco felt a bit better.

\- A whole day of shopping and a whole day without my father. This should be a good day. - Draco put on the robes that Dobby handed to him.

\- Dobby hopes that young master Draco will enjoy his day. - Dobby smiled before kneeling before Draco.

\- Thank you, Dob. - Draco gave him a soft hug before running down to the hall to greet his mother but stopping short when he saw his father standing there instead.

\- Where’s mother? - Draco couldn’t stop himself.

\- Language. She’s not feeling well so I will take you to shop for everything needed. Let’s go. - Lucius turned on his heel, ready to leave, holding his elbow out for Draco to grab onto.

Draco huffed out a breath and grabbed at his father’s arm, squeezing his eyes shut the moment his feet lifted off the ground.

When Draco opened his eyes just seconds later, they were standing somewhere in Knockturn Alley.

\- You do realize that everything I need isn’t here? - Draco gestured in careles motion, already taking a step away from Lucius.

\- Have some respect. - Lucius snarled before making sure his robes were perfect and starting to walk in the opposite direction to Diagon Alley.

Draco huffed out a breath but followed like the good puppy he needed to be.

They walked into some dark shop, his father ordered him to stay in the main room and went into the back.

Draco wandered around the shop, looking over different things that gave off dark magic vibes.

Draco wondered what was so tempting about dark magic, why some people got so deep into using it.

\- Basilisk. Perfect. - He accidentally heard his father whisper in triumph, followed with some more whispering Draco couldn’t make out.

An unsettling feeling made its way to the pit of Draco’s stomach.

Basilisk weren’t anything good. No matter what the context.

They were killers. Stone cold killers.

Draco stayed by the window you almost couldn’t see through, waiting for his father to finally come back.

He lost all the joy of shopping that was left in him, all he wanted was to get home and look closely at what Lucius was planning.

Draco needed to make sure that Harry was safe.

\- Come. - Lucius’ cold voice pulled Draco out of his silent worries.

They made their way through Diagon Alley, getting everything that Draco needed, sending a bunch of the newest brooms to the school Slytherin team.

When they stepped into the bookstore, Draco’s heart skipped a beat.

He could recognize that mess of  hair anywhere by now.

And yes, when the boy turned, there they were: bright green eyes, shining brighter than the sun.

Draco wanted to rush forward and hug his friend but he couldn’t.

And Harry was with the Weasleys.

Draco frowned, slowly making his way to the books, looking for one he knew where to find.

He closed his eyes, whispering a silent plea for forgiveness and ripped the page out, putting the book back in its place.

Ah, yes, father had noticed Potter too, starting to be the rude prat he was toward anyone he thought was lower than himself.

Draco hated it.

Walking past Granger, he slipped the ripped page about basilisks in between her books, she would know what to do.

After all, she was the brightest witch in their year.

Lucius hated that some muggleborn could have better grades than his pureblood son but Draco was okay with being second.

Harry’s eyes, filled with disgust, met Draco’s. Draco tried his best to show how sorry he was for his father through his eyes but Harry just looked away, seeming angry.

Draco wanted to scream at him, explain that he didn’t think like his father, but of course, he couldn’t do that. So he stayed by his father’s side, trying his best not to look at the angry Weasleys.

When they finally walked out of the bookshop, Draco couldn’t take it anymore, he just was so fed up with his father’s bullshit.

\- And you say that I’m the one who needs to learn better manners. - Draco snapped without caring what would follow.

He knew that Lucius cared about his name way too much to actually do anything to Draco in public.

Draco heard Lucius grit his teeth before pulling Draco into the first dark corner and within seconds, Draco was pushed to the ground, already in the manor.

\- How dare you?! - Lucius raised his voice to a ringing tone, stepping closer to Draco, ready to hit him with his cane only to change his mind at the last second, taking a step back and drawing his wand, pointing it at Draco.

Draco cursed under his breath.

Of course, Lucius couldn’t hit him, bruises and cuts wouldn’t be fully healed before tomorrow morning when he needed to step on the train.

Of course. Stupid, stupid Draco.

He knew what would come right before the curse hit him, causing all his muscles to freeze and clench, small daggers cutting into every cell of his body.

His whole body was clenching in painful spasms but Draco forced himself not to open his mouth and scream, no matter how much he wanted to do just that.

He wouldn’t give his father the pleasure of his scream.

Draco looked straight at his father’s eyes with all the hate he was feeling, wishing that he could burn with his eyes.

Everything happened in a split second, the curse stopped and his father stumbled, leaning against the wall, pieces of a broken vase dropping to the ground.

Draco gasped for breath, feeling really confused, his body still pulsing with pain.

\- You little filthy prat! - Lucius roared, spinning around and pointing his wand at Draco, sending an even sharper pain into his bones.

This time Draco couldn’t stop himself from screaming, he couldn’t control his body anymore.

There was just pain, agonizing pain, so Draco screamed, or at least tried to.

His lungs were paralyzed, he couldn’t breathe in or scream, he couldn’t breathe.

\- Lucius! - Narcissa’s sharp voice cut through the fog of agony.

The curse stopped but Draco’s body was still spasming, he felt himself still rolling on the ground, trembling and choking.

He couldn’t hear if his mother said anything else or if maybe his father did, all he could hear was how hard his heart was beating and then all of a sudden it calmed down, his body stopped trembling, the pain eased a bit, he could breathe again.

His mind was still foggy, he couldn’t focus, but he felt soft hands snake around his body, picking him up.

Draco wanted to scream in protest but then soft lips were pressed against his forehead and calm washed over him again.

\- Mummy… - 

Draco wasn’t sure if he said that aloud or not, but he relaxed fully in the arms of Narcissa, forgetting about his furious father and the curse’s pain, he closed his eyes and let the warmth of motherly love wash over him.

 

In the morning Lucius was nowhere to be seen. Draco’s body was still a bit stiff but whatever his mother had given him last night helped a lot.

Dobby spend all morning with Draco, made sure that he was eating and putting together all the stuff Draco would need.

\- Dobby, are you fully sure that Harry won’t return? - Draco asked in an almost whisper, a bit afraid of the answer, a cold feeling already pooling in his chest.

\- Yes, my young master Draco. Dobby will make sure of it. As Dobby promised. - Dobby knelt in front of Draco.

\- Good. That’s for the better. We need to keep him safe. - Draco huffed out a breath, checking if his hair was perfect once again, simply because he didn’t know what to do with his hands.

\- We need to go now, my young master Draco, the train will leave soon. - Dobby softly took Draco’s hand in his.

Draco closed his eyes and let Dobby take him to the train.

First thing he did was look around, trying to spot Harry’s well-known family, but they were nowhere to be seen. No Weasleys either. Good.

\- Thank you, Dobby. - Draco gave him a small pat on the shoulder before making his way to the train, fitting in between his so-called slytherin friends.

Draco let Parkinson buzz around him, chatting excitedly about things that had happened over the summer.

But all he could think about was Harry.

What was he doing right now? Was he sitting in his room feeling down because he couldn’t return? Or maybe he had already gotten into some other wizarding school?

All these thoughts were driving Draco crazy but he was glad Harry wasn’t there.

Whatever his father had planned wouldn’t work now.

After the train ride, Draco stayed with Parkinson, Crabbe and Goyle. He might as well get used to being “friends” with them since they would be the ones he could spend time with.

They were sitting in the common room, Draco reading one of their new study books, when the news came.

A big murmuring broke out.

\- What’s happening this time? - Draco snapped at Parkinson, already feeling annoyed.

\- Potter and Weasley just rode to Hogwarts in a flying car and crashed it against the tree! Can you believe those idiots actually did it? - She huffed out, sitting on the armrest of the chair Draco was sat in.

\- They what?! - Draco jumped up.

\- I know, right?! Stupid Potter and his drive to fame! - Parkinson laid back, annoyed.

\- Where are they now? - Draco pinched the bridge of his nose.

This couldn’t be happening, no, no, no. How could he? 

\- How should I know? Probably getting expelled and sent back to where they come from. Calm down. - She looked at Draco, bored.

\- You’re right. I’m going to sleep. - Draco picked his book up and almost rushed to the dorm.

Sodding Potter, how could he do this right now?!

Draco was feeling so anxious and angry that for half of the night he simply lay there, unable to fall asleep.

\- They are going to be expelled because of this. Yes, they will be. Calm down Draco, he will be gone and safe. - Draco murmured to himself, trying to calm down.

With that thought, he finally fell asleep only to wake up after a couple of hours to start getting ready for a new day.

Draco still tried to tell himself that maybe Pansy messed something up and it wasn’t even Harry but oh, who was he fooling, it sounded like Harry.

And of course, right as he stepped into the great hall, there he was, sitting at the table with his fellow gryffindors.

Draco gritted his teeth and made his way to his own seat, keeping an eye on Harry.

Owl post came a bit early that day.

Narcissa had sent a box of Draco’s favorite chocolates to him. It warmed Draco’s heart, it was such a small thing but meant so much.

A loud screech pulled Draco out of his daydreaming.

Weasley had gotten a howler, oh how fun.

Draco turned back to watching Harry... who had a howler too? Interesting.

\- Harry James Potter! How dare you go to school in a flying car and not tell me? I mean that is amazing but you could have told me! - the first man’s voice came out almost cheerful but was cut off by another man’s voice.

\- Sirius, shut up! Harry, we will have a serious, not you idiot, talk about this! - the other man said in a sharp tone right before the howler tore itself apart.

Harry looked embarrassed but a small smile was playing over his lips.

What a fool!

Anger flared through Draco, making him jump up and walk out of the great hall, then out of the school, to the herbology greenhouses even though he still had at least half an hour before the lesson started.

\- Draco! - A cheerful voice called but Draco just gritted his teeth and kept walking.

\- Draco, wait! - He heard Harry start to run and within seconds, he was next to Draco, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Reflexively, Draco spun around and pushed Harry against the castle wall, raising his wand.

\- Wow, I’m glad to see you too? - Harry raised his hands in surrender, making Draco drop his by his sides.

\- What are you even doing here? - Draco spat out, hating how venomous his voice sounded toward Harry.

\- Talking to you…? - A flash of hurt washed over Harry’s face, his eyes a bit cloudy.

\- I mean in Hogwarts, you idiot! - Draco was still annoyed and that only annoyed him further.

\- The same as everyone, to study. What is going on, Draco? - Harry asked in an already softer tone, worry now written all over his face.

\- You shouldn’t be here. Why did you need to come here? - Draco ran a hand through his hair, then pat it back down so it would still be perfect.

\- What are you talking about? Where else I should be? Draco, c’mon. What is going on? First the letters and now you’re not happy to even see me? - Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

\- You just shouldn’t have come back, that’s all. - Draco huffed out a breath, how could he explain all this to him?

\- Care to explain? - Harry was starting to get annoyed, Draco could sense it.

\- Just, ugh, I don’t know how to explain. - Draco felt so damn tired.

\- Oh. - Harry let his arms drop by his sides before pulling Draco into a hug. - Whatever is going on, it will be alright. -

Draco just sighed, hugging Harry a bit tighter and letting himself forget about everything for this sweet moment of  friendship.

 


	8. Slytherin Prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta - @WordsAblaze

**Slytherin Prince.**

 

It all happened slowly, almost torturing Draco’s soul.

Every morning he would wake up in a panic, thinking that something bad had happened and Harry would be gone.

It usually ended with quick, before-breakfast meetings in dusty alcoves.

Draco gripping Harry’s robes in his fists, not being able to calm his rushing heart.

Harry only laughed about that, always pleased to meet Draco but not really believing the horror thing going on.

But then it happened: one evening, everyone was alerted.

The Basilisk was out.

Draco already had problems sleeping, so then it was almost impossible.

And on top of that, there were rumors that Harry was the one who had written on the walls, who had set the thing free.

Draco hated those talks.

\- Will you calm down already? I told you that I didn’t do it! Why would I? - Harry huffed out, annoyed, ready to stand up.

\- Okay, okay. - Draco grabbed Harry’s hand, pulling him back down and pushing one of the finest french chocolates in Harry’s mouth before he could say anything to protest.

Draco pulled Harry’s hand into his lap, starting to play with his fingers. Enjoying how good it felt when their fingers brushed, locking together and then breaking apart again.

It was fascinating how tanned Harry’s fingers looked between Draco’s all too pale ones.

Draco liked how it looked. And his skin was so soft.

He could never go out in the sun for too long, turning red straight away and then becoming a burnt mess, but Harry loved the sun, he enjoyed it and his skin soaked it up, locking it inside him, making him a little walking sunshine.

A nudge in his side made Draco look up just in time to see Harry watching him with his big green eyes, a smile playing over his lips.

\- As I have been saying for the past five minutes, we need to go or we will be late for our class. Again. - Harry started laughing at the horrifying look that set over Draco’s face.

\- Shit, shit, shit! - Draco scrambled to his feet, looking down at the laughing Harry, who was still sitting down. - What the hell are you waiting for? -

Draco put his hands on his hips, tapping his foot on the ground, only making Harry laugh harder.

\- We sure do spend a lot of time together because you, my friend, have started cursing just like I do. - Harry finally stood up, brushing dirt off his robes, a smile still playing over his lips.

\- I have not. Have I? - Draco let his hands fall to his sides, thinking back to how he had cursed.

\- Yes, you have. It’s lovely. - Harry laughed, shaking his head and starting to walk away.

\- Sure, laugh your ass off, Potter! - Draco snapped before following Harry to their class.

 

They were having a special class on that day in DADA, dueling.

Draco was feeling a bit bored of it, locking eyes with Harry  a couple of times, Harry smiling at him before turning his attention back to dueling.

Draco’s attention was taken off Harry when Snape called his name, sending him onto the podium.

Draco raised one of his brows, not really understanding what he needed to do.

Harry was pushed up too, facing Draco.

\- Bow to each other before starting the duel. - The Professor’s voice alerted Draco.

Duel.

They needed to duel.

Draco huffed out a breath, walking closer to Harry, bowing quickly before stepping back.

Childish joy starting to spread over him.

\- Scared, Potter? - he couldn’t help but smirk.

\- You wish! - Harry snapped back, matching Draco’s smirk.

And then it started, both sending hexes at each other, trying to push others off.

Draco could see that Harry was also enjoying this little game with Draco.

They both knew that they wouldn’t hurt the other.

Harry was fast and his magic was strong.

One hex made Draco fall backwards way harder than it should, annoying him.

He jumped up and spat out the first curse that came to his mind.

A big snake sprang out of his wand, slithering toward Harry, hissing its tongue, fangs sharp and ready to bite.

A movement on the left made the snake turn, rising toward the student standing there.

Harry stepped closer, hissing something at the snake that no one seemed to understand.

His face scrunched up in concentration.

It suddenly dawned on Draco what exactly Harry was doing with the snake.

He was talking to it.

Draco felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Tales of his house swirling around in his mind.

_ Only the prince of Slytherin could open the chamber of secrets and set the basilisk out. _

_ It’s a big snake, the right person needs to know how to talk to snakes. _

_ Only the remaining Slytherin Prince can talk to snakes. _

_ It was in Salazar’s blood, passed down with his blood, in his heir. _

Draco stumbled backwards in the rising chaos.

He didn’t even wait to see what would happen next, he felt sick, his stomach turning.

Draco ran down to his dorms, throwing up right after he knelt down in the bathroom.

Tears started to come out without his permission.

Harry was talking to the snake.

Harry was the Slytherin Prince.

His father was right all along.

His father was right.

It made the blood inside Draco turn cold.

He couldn’t believe it all. He just couldn’t.

His stomach tried to push out food that wasn’t there anymore, making Draco’s eyes water.

He stayed like that, feeling the cold seeping into his limbs.

His father was right.

He had warned Draco about Potter, told him how bad he was, but Draco hadn’t wanted to believe it.

And now it hurt, not so much that Lucius was right but more that Harry was just as he had said and he had betrayed Draco yet again.

Draco let a couple of tears slip before he heard footsteps coming closer.

He pushed himself up, washing his face and mouth, trying to get rid of the unpleasant taste.

Draco looked in the mirror, flinching inside at how cold his eyes looked, his face stone cold, blond hair a bit messy with wet tips falling over his forehead.

His eyes were devoid of any light or emotions at all.

They almost looked like Lucius’ cold ones.

Draco let out one last shuddering breath before walking back out into the common room, burying himself in homeworks, trying his best not to think about Harry.

He knew that he should start calling him Potter once again and forget the friendship or whatever it was between them.

 

Draco managed to ignore Harry for two days before he was pushed inside a broom cupboard,a quick silencing charm thrown at the door.

\- Why are you ignoring me? - Harry sounded annoyed, his hand in a tight fist around his wand.

\- For good reasons. I don’t hang out with the ones that betray me. - Draco snapped, holding his hand over his own wand.

\- What the heck are you talking about? -

\- You should have told me that all the rumours are true. -

\- What rumours…? You mean the ones that I set that thing free? Draco, we already talked about this! - Harry pulled at his hair, making it even messier.

\- And you lied! You are the Slytherin Prince just like they all said you are! - Draco snapped, getting even more annoyed.

\- I did not! I am not a Slytherin Prince! -

\- Then how do you explain talking to the snake?! Hm? Explain yourself! -

\- I don’t know, I thought that it was normal! -

\- Normal for a Slytherin Prince! -

\- I am not! Even if the Sorting Hat wanted to put me there, I am neither a Slytherin nor their Prince! -

\- The Sorting Hat wanted to put you in Slytherin? - Draco took a step back, hitting the wall, shock falling over him.

\- Yes, but that is not important right now. - Harry almost growled out the words. - I am NOT a Slytherin Prince. -

\- Sure. And I’m a Unicorn. - Draco crossed his arms over his chest.

\- Oh, shut up! You should believe me. I thought that we are friends! -

\- Yeah, I thought that too but now I know, you are just as bad as my Father told me. - Draco put as much venom in his words as he could, looking Harry up and down.

Harry frowned at Draco.

\- And you really believe all that? You really are going to throw away our friendship for a shitty rumour going around? - Harry asked disbelieving.

\- And when were you gonna tell me that you are like this? Setting that thing free, killing? You really are disgusting! No wonder they hate you so much, with your damn hero complex. What, couldn’t be the hero this year so you set free a stone-cold killer only to put it back at the end of the year and show up like a hero? It’s pathetic, Potter! Get over yourself and your stupid hero complex! It’s childish! Grow up! -

\- Oh, what do you know about growing up? You are a spoiled brat who has never needed to do a damn thing in his life, always getting everything on silver plate! -

\- Shut up! Shut up, Potter! - Draco hissed, his fist clenching around his wand, fury burning in his eyes.

\- What, the truth stinging your eyes, Malfoy? - Harry snarled, matching fury burning in his eyes.

Draco stepped closer to Harry, rising over him as tall as he could, looking him straight in the eyes, their bodies almost touching.

\- You know nothing about me, Potter. - Draco said calmly, and so quietly that it was almost a whisper, sending a shiver down Harry’s spine, his eyes widening in sudden horror. His lips parted but, before he could say anything, Draco pushed out of the broom cupboard, walking away without looking back.

His flaring anger had died down, he had felt a pang of hurt back there but, once he walked out, he simply felt numb.

Draco knew what others thought, that purebloods like him got everything handed to then, but not even one of them knew the truth and Draco certainly wouldn’t tell them.

 

The next day was their first quidditch practice, at first Gryffindor was supposed to train that day but Snape made sure that the Slytherin team would get the perfect time for a perfect practice.

They walked out and ran into Potter, Weasley and Granger.

Weasley’s eyes widened when he noticed the newest brooms, rambling falling over his lips.

\- Malfoy’s father’s gift to us. Meet our new seeker. - the captain of the team said proudly, making Draco roll his eyes before stepping to the front, looking over, annoyed.

\- I, unlike some, can afford the best. - Draco snarled toward Weasley, earning a hateful look from Harry.

\- At least no-one had to buy their way into the Gryffindor team, they have their own pure talent! - Granger snapped at Draco.

\- No-one asked for your opinion, mudblood! - Draco snapped back without thinking.

\- You’ll regret this, Malfoy! - Weasley roared before flaring a curse, but because of his broken wand, it bounced back and hit him instead of Draco.

Harry and Hermione knelt down beside him, the whole Slytherin team breaking out into barking laughter.

A slug slipped out of Weasley, making Draco frown even more.

Harry glanced back, giving Draco a hateful look before helping Ron up and rushing off.

Draco growled to himself, turning around to walk to the quidditch pitch.

He knew that everything was going down really badly between him and Harry.

He was so close to stepping over the line of friendship, towards being enemies again, and Draco hated it, but he pushed it all down, burying himself in quidditch training and leaving his aching heart for later.

 


	9. Not So Merry Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome at the bit more emotions. enjoy.
> 
> beta - @WordsAblaze

**Not So Merry Christmas.**

 

The following months were a real nightmare.

More attacks followed and a lot of people turned against Harry, attacking him with all they could, words and hexes.

Draco hated it, hated how everyone was treating Harry because of everything happening.

He heard a lot of really bad stuff about it all in his dorm, slytherins just seemed to take it hard to their hearts that someone like Potter could be their leader, their prince.

Draco was just tired of it all. He just wanted some peace to study and his friend back.

He felt extremely lonely now, he didn’t have Dobby, he had lost Harry too, he was left all alone with annoying pureblood slytherins.

Draco tried to call Harry to get his attention many times but it always ended in heated arguments.

It always started the same, Draco calling out - Potter! - and Harry snapping something back right away or ignoring him.

Instead of apologies and silent miss-you’s, they called each other names.

One gloomy day, it got fully out of control, Draco had just wanted to talk to Harry, to apologize and ask to be friends again but after calling out Harry’s last name, he got a hex thrown at him.

And so hexes started to be throw around.

Whenever they saw each other, they would just snap and throw hexes.

Draco hated it, he hated how Harry looked, he hated that the hexes thrown at him were filled with so much hate.

Draco hated it all and it just made him even more tired.

He started counting the days to when Christmas break would finally come, when he would be able to go home and just be with Dobby, at least he stilled cared about Draco.

With growing annoyance, Draco start hexing everyone he saw flaring hexes at Harry or his friends.

Quietly, without being seen.

His father would be proud of how cold-heartedly Draco acted while hexing them all through the shadows.

Draco hated it even more, he had thristed after his father’s approval for years, thinking back, probably since birth, but right now he hated the thought that his father would be proud of him for something like this.

In the morning when everyone was slowly moving to get to the train, Draco finally caught Harry alone; he grabbed Harry’s wrist, turning him to face Draco.

\- Potter. - Draco breathed out, he had missed Harry so much that now, when their skin finally touched, it felt like the whole world had stopped spinning for a second.

\- Get off of me, Malfoy! - Harry snapped, trying to pull his hand out of Draco’s grip.

\- I just want to talk. - 

\- Mhm, I have learned what your talking means, throwing disgusting words around, followed with hexes! No, thank you! -

\- Will you finally shut up? - Draco pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down a bit.

\- Right what I said. - Harry rolled his eyes.

Draco growled, closing his eyes for a second, taking deep breaths before opening his eyes again and locking them with Harry.

\- I’m sorry, okay? All this time I have tried to apologize but you and your big mouth just keep annoying me and ugh, you know how I can lock down and snap. You know it. I can’t help it, okay? I’m sorry! -

Harry was simply looking at Draco like he had grown a second head.

Draco waited for him to say something but nothing came, he just looked at him.

\- Well, say something! - Draco snapped.

A big smile spread over Harry’s lips.

\- Why are you smiling? What’s so funny?! - Draco started to get annoyed again.

Instead of answering, Harry simply pulled Draco in a hug, melting away all the annoyance Draco had.

Draco couldn’t help but sigh, almost melting against Harry, breathing in his scent.

\- I am sorry too, I know that I’m not easy and that I can be snappy too. And all this chaos going on, it is just a lot to take in and I get tired of it. - Harry sighed against Draco’s neck.

\- I know and I didn’t make it any easier. Those assholes got what they deserved after all. -

\- What? - Harry pulled back to look at Draco. - Were you the one hexing them? -

\- I couldn’t let them hex you and your friends! What else should I have done? -

\- Draco. - Harry sighed, letting his head fall against Draco’s shoulder.

\- What? -

Harry just shook his head before starting to giggle.

\- You’re impossible. -

\- Oh, am I now? - A smile started to spread over Draco’s lips.

It had been so long since he had smiled.

\- Yes, you are and now we will be late for the train! - Harry tried to sound serious but couldn’t stop laughing, making Draco join in.

After a few minutes of simply laughing, they hugged again before rushing to the train.

 

After coming home, Draco was greeted with a pleased Lucius. 

The passion his father showed when listening to the details of the basilisk attacks made Draco’s stomach turn, he hated the pleased, grin-like smirk that spread over his father’s face after hearing all of the news, he hated it so much.

\- That’s right what we need! Purifying! Like our Lord has wanted. Purebloods are higher and muggleborns shouldn’t exist at all. They are a disgrace to the wizarding world. Oh, our great Dark Lord would be so pleased right now! - 

Draco sat there, trying to bite back his disgust for his father’s words. 

He glanced at his mother who stayed silent, looking down at her plate. It seemed that she too had lost all her appetite  because of Lucius’ talks about the Dark Lord.

But just their luck, Lucius kept talking about the good old times when the Dark Lord had power and rose for over an hour, by which point Draco was ready to throw up and curse his father into next sunday, but of course, he couldn’t even do as much as hold his wand, that was locked away in his father’s office right after he stepped into the manor.

When Draco was finally free to go upstairs, he sat down on one of his puffy sofas and took out some parchment and a quill, starting to write a letter to Harry, already missing him.

 

_ To Harry. _

_ I know it’s only been a couple of hours but I already miss you and to be honest, it is not so great here. _

_ Tomorrow we will have another boring pureblood ball type of thing for Christmas, nothing fun. _

_ I hope that you are having more fun than I am. _

_ I will have my present sent to you soon, look forward to it, I am sure that you will love it. _

_ Merry Christmas, Harry. _

_ With best wishes, _

_ Draco L. Malfoy _

 

Draco rolled up the small letter and held it together with a strip of green silk.

\- Dobby. - Draco leaned back into the sofa, waiting for Dobby to pop up.

\- Yes, my young master Draco? - 

\- Will you please give this to Harry Potter from me? But like, just leave it on his bed or something so he doesn’t see you leaving it there, okay? And make sure that he’s alright. - 

\- With all my pleasure, my young master Draco, Dobby will do. - Dobby took the letter from Draco, ready to leave, but Draco pulled him in a hug.

\- After that, I would like to have a cup of cocoa and talk with my best friend ‘till I fall asleep. - He murmured with his eyes closed, taking in Dobby’s warmth.

\- Of course, my sweet young master, Draco. - Dobby held him for a moment before disappearing.

Draco sighed, changing into his night clothes and slowly crawling into his big bed, pulling the blanket over him.

He turned to watch the snow falling outside, so peacefully, small snowflakes falling through the dark.

It calmed Draco, it pulled him into a whole different world, where everything was calm and soft without any worries.

That’s when the first tear dropped into his silk-covered pillow.

By the time Dobby finally came back with a hot cup of cocoa, Draco had red eyes and a wet pillow under his swollen cheek.

Dobby simply pulled Draco to a sitting position, pulling the blanket tighter around his shaking body, and pushed the hot cup into his trembling hands.

When Dobby started to comb Draco’s hair, Draco let out his first choking sob, taking a sip of the warm drink, feeling how it warmed up his insides.

Dobby just continued to comb his hair until Draco was fully calm and his cup of cocoa was finished, warmth filling him.

Draco sighed, slipping down against the pillows with tired eyes, turning to face Dobby.

\- Thank you… - He whispered and pulled Dobby in a hug.

\- Always, my young master Draco, always. - 

\- Please tell me a story… - Draco murmured, feeling already really tired.

Dobby started telling him a story, something childish that Draco hadn’t heard before, and played with Draco’s hair, lulling him into a deep sleep.

 

Draco spent the majority of the next day in his room with Dobby, simply chatting and playing some games, everything to take Draco’s mind off things for a moment.

When the evening came, expensive dress robes were sent up to his room for Draco to wear to the ball they were having.

Draco hadn’t finished putting them on when Narcissa came into the room with a soft knock at the door.

\- Draco. - She was wearing a floor-length dress, shimmering, with expensive stones covering the silky surface, hugging her body just right, a scarf thrown over her shoulder, reaching down to her waist.

\- Mother. Looking good. - Draco nodded before turning back to the mirror to try and get the bowtie to stand just right.

\- Thank you, let me. - Narcissa turned Draco around to face her and started doing the bowtie herself.

\- So, did he send you up to scold me about how I should act tonight? - Draco asked in a bored voice.

\- No, I came myself. To ask you to be polite. At least try. - Narcissa looked deep in Draco’s eyes.

\- Just for you. - Draco murmured before softly hugging Narcissa for just a split second, stepping away right away to check his hair once again in the mirror.

\- Thank you, you look lovely. - Narcissa pecked his cheek before walking away.

Draco groaned a bit before following her down the stairs, plastering a polite smile over his lips.

Everything would have been nice if his parents hadn’t pushed him and Parkinson together yet again, and it just seemed that she didn’t mind being thrown all over Draco at all.

Draco was stuck with her the whole evening, wishing that instead he could be stuck with Harry.

No offence, Pansy was okay but she was just a bit too annoying, too spoiled for Draco’s liking.

Whenever he wanted to snap, he looked over to his mother who seemed to be having an okay evening herself, so he held his tongue and stayed silent, swallowing all his snapping remarks.

Just for Narcissa.

By the end of the ball, Draco felt exhausted.

When the door finally closed behind the last guest and the floo was closed, Draco made his way over to his mother, leaning down and pecking her cheek, earning a soft pat on his cheek and a smile from Narcissa before getting extra peck on top of his head.

\- Disgusting! He’s too old for babying like this! - Lucius’ sharp voice pulled them out of their loving embrace.

\- Lucius, he’s still my son. - Narcissa snapped back, standing up and taking away the glass of firewhiskey from Lucius.

It seemed that Lucius wanted to say something more but with one stern glance from Narcissa, stayed silent.

\- Goodnight. -

Without a glance back, Draco made his way up to his room, wanting to get out of his way too expensive dress robes.

Draco was almost ready to get into his bed when he remembered the gift he wanted to send Harry.

\- Dobby. - Draco sit down, holding the present.

\- Yes, my young master Draco? - Dobby popped up after a minute, kneeling in front of Draco.

\- Please get this to Harry, put it under his christmas tree if he has one. If not, then just leave it in his room. Just make sure that he doesn’t see you. Thank you, Dob. - 

\- With all my pleasure, my young master Draco. - Dobby took the present out of Draco’s reach and disappeared with a soft crack.

Draco sighed, slowly crawling into his bed and falling asleep right when his head hit the pillow.

Maybe Narcissa had put something in his last drink to make sure that Draco would get enough sleep that night.

 

In the morning Draco woke up to  his father’s terrible angry voice shouting at something or someone.

Draco groaned before getting out of bed and walking to the staircase to see what was happening.

\- My master, Dobby is sorry… Dobby can’t lie. But Dobby promised. - a teary house elf’s voice made Draco freeze before he rushed down the stairs as fast as he could.

_ No, no, no, no, no. _

Draco rushed into the sitting room right when Lucius hit Dobby with his pole.

\- Where were you, answer me! - Lucius voice rang through the room.

\- Dobby can’t, Dobby promised… - Dobby choked out, earning another hit.

\- ANSWER ME! -

\- To Harry Potter… Dobby went to Harry Potter… - Dobby choked out.

Lucius eyes widened before turning even darker, almost black. He was furious.

\- You will pay for this. - He hit Dobby again and again before raising his wand.

Draco knew what would happen next and he just couldn’t stand aside and watch, he just couldn’t.

\- Stop! - Draco’s voice come out way stronger than he felt, he rushed in front of Dobby, blocking him from Lucius view.

\- How dare you? Get out of the way! - Lucius hissed at Draco, fury burning in his eyes.

\- No, father. I asked Dobby to do it so if you want to punish someone, then punish me not him. He just followed my orders. - Draco raised his chin a bit higher, standing up taller, ready to face his father in the horrible battle.

\- As you wish, you disgrace! - Lucius spat out, raising his wand.

\- My young master Draco, no! - Dobby screamed right before the strong curse hit Draco straight in the chest, freezing his heart for a couple of seconds.

Draco gritted his teeth, falling down on his knees with the first spasms of his muscles, not losing eye contact with his furious father.

Disgust was painted over Lucius face, raising his head higher.

Sharper pain spread through Draco’s body and a scream broke free, taking away the last bits of air left in Draco’s lungs.

He saw himself falling down and hitting the floor but didn’t really feel it, much stronger pain was tearing his body apart.

All his insides were turning over in sharp turns, his lungs being stabbed with small daggers, his heart filling with sharp needles that spread through his body with every sharp pump of his heart.

Fire started licking his bones, boiling his skin.

His ears were ringing, he could hear faint screams that would make blood freeze, something deep in his head told him that it was his own screams but Draco couldn’t understand it.

His head was pounding, he tried to look around him but everything was in a thick fog, starting to turn deep red with black patches.

New sharper pain came and came with every passing second, his bones were snapping, his flesh tearing apart, his body spasming, throwing him in different angles, making his body ache even more.

Every beat of his heart ran through his body with sharp pain following right after, every beat becoming louder, suffocating Draco.

Draco couldn’t breathe, it just seemed that air couldn’t come through the flames burning Draco alive.

He couldn’t see anything anymore, everything was reddish black.

It was all too much, way too much, he couldn’t take it anymore, it felt like years had passed since he was thrown in this agonizing hell, he just couldn’t, he needed to give up.

A high pitched scream pulled Draco back from giving up, just for a second.

It was so familiar but Draco just couldn’t figure out who was screaming.

Someone he cared about, someone he loved, but what was care and what was love? Draco didn’t know anymore, his mind way too foggy and slow, only wanting to give up.

But that high pitched voice kept breaking through this fog, begging for something to stop, but for what? For Draco? Did they want him to give up?

\- Lucius, stop! Please! You are killing him! You are killing him! Please, he is your son, please! You are killing him, it’s too much for him to take, Lucius, please! -

Mum…

His mummy was begging.

Mummy…

Draco wanted to reach out to her, to say that it was okay and he was ready to give up, ready to go, but his body didn’t listen to him, it was already gone in too much pain.

The high pitched screams started to fade away, leaving Draco alone in the dark, in his agony.

He couldn’t fight anymore.

And why should he?

What was the point?

Draco didn’t know.

Even his own name was fading away, just like his body and his mind.

He was fading away.

And he was ready.

Ready to greet death and cross the line.

Ready to be free.

He was free.

  
  



	10. A Drop Of Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, i am so so sorry that i couldn't post it as always on monday!  
> second, this chapter is a bit more heavy mentally but as much as it is like that, i am sorry that i couldn't pour even more emotions in this, but i hope that you can still enjoy it.
> 
> beta - @WordsAblaze

**A Drop Of Hell.**

 

Narcissa was still asleep when Dobby popped up on their bed.

\- My Mistress, my sweet Mistress needs to wake up… Dobby is sorry but Mistress need to wake up right now. - Dobby was choking on sobs, waking Narcissa.

\- What’s happening, Dobby? - Narcissa sat up, all sleep gone.

\- My young master Draco… Draco… - 

\- What is wrong with Draco? - Narcissa got out of bed, her heart beating faster in fear.

\- Master is punishing him, hard. My Mistress need to save him. Master is ready to kill. Dobby tried but failed, Dobby is so sorry. -

Narcissa didn’t wait to hear anything else, she ran out of their master bedroom, listening for a second to figure out where in the manor Lucius was torturing Draco.

A loud, blood-freezing scream echoed through the halls, making a shudder run down Narcissa’s spine.

She ran into the sitting room to see Draco spasming on the ground, a murderous look on Lucius’ face.

Capillaries and smaller veins were breaking under Draco’s skin, colouring him in with an angry storm blue colour.

Draco’s head snapped painfully with a loud crack toward Narcissa, his eyes wide with pain, the whites covered in blood, tears streaming over his flushed cheeks, blood tinting his blue lips.

With every passing second Draco’s body spasmed in even sharper angles, hurting his body even more.

\- Lucius! - Narcissa screamed, trying to get her husband’s attention, but Lucius just kept staring at Draco, his wand pointed at him without even a tremble.

\- Lucius! Please! -

A groogy scream escaped Draco’s lips, sending blood dripping over his chin, another loud crack of his body turning in spasming pain.

\- LUCIUS MALFOY! -

Narcissa’s heart was breaking with every passing second.

Draco was dying in front of her in agonizing pain.

\- Lucius, stop! Please! You are killing him! You are killing him! Please, he is your son, please! You are killing him, it’s too much for him to take, Lucius, please! -

Narcissa fell down to her knees, tears starting to stream down her cheeks.

Draco had stopped screaming, his mouth gaping wide, blood spilling out, dribbling over his chin. He wasn’t pale anymore, most of his body was blueish and the parts that were not turned blue or covered in blood were looking like ash.

His eyes had stopped wandering around, staying still, covered in blood, all beauty gone.

\- Lucius… I’m begging you… I’m begging you, please stop… Please, please, Lucius, please! - Narcissa didn’t cover her tears or pain, she let herself be fully raw, to show Lucius what he was doing to her.

His eyes finally wandered over to her trembling body, fury changing to something like pain in his eyes.

He dropped his hand by his side, ending the curse, but Draco’s body kept spasming in agonizing pain, he wasn’t breathing and Narcissa wasn’t sure if his heart was still beating.

\- Quick, get me potion. - Narcissa gasped out, crawling closer to Draco, not really wanting to touch his body because she knew that it would cause only more pain.

She took a deep breath and grabbed Draco’s body, pushing it against the cold ground, trying to still it so it wouldn’t spasm and hurt him even more.

Lucius was still standing there without moving, watching Narcissa as if in a trance.

Narcissa shot him a teary but angry look.

\- Get me the fucking potions! I won’t let my son die! Go! - Her voice come out sharper than she thought she could manage, snapping Lucius out of his trance, making him almost run to their potion room.

\- Everything will be alright, baby, everything will be okay. Mummy will take care of you. - Narcissa tried to still Draco’s body with her hands, hating how hard it was still spasming.

Lucius rushed into the room, kneeling beside her with a potion kit, his hand trembling a bit.

\- I need warm water and a soft cotton cloth to get rid of the blood. - Narcissa started to look through the potions, taking out the most important one and dropping a couple drops inside Draco’s mouth, waiting for the spasms to die down.

When Lucius didn’t move, Narcissa looked straight into his eyes.

\- If he dies, I will kill you with my own hands in the most slow and painful death anyone can imagine. - She hissed out, fear crossing Lucius eyes before he nodded and stood up, summoning the necessary things for Narcissa.

After that she didn’t pay any attention to Lucius, all her attention turned toward Draco.

First groogy breath was being sucked in, earning a big coughing fit followed by blood dripping over his blue lips.

Narcissa pushed down her tears, wiping away all the blood from Draco’s body, forcing his eyes closed.

She gasped when she finally peeled off the remaining clothes from his fragile body, all of his body an angry storm blue from broken veins, a couple of bones crushed under the sharp turning.

Dobby popped up next to her with a soft cotton wool blanket, helping her to get Draco into it.

\- He’s freezing… - Narcissa murmured.

Dobby disappeared, popping back up just a second later, giving Narcissa her wand, turning his attention back to Draco.

Narcissa cast the needed charms, a loud scream breaking free from Draco when his bones started to grow back together.

It broke Narcissa’s heart but she needed to get everything done so she could be sure that Draco was stable enough not to die.

They knew that the amount and mix of the potions she forced into Draco could be way too much, but she didn’t have a choice right now, she just needed to do everything she could to save her son.

Narcissa finally stood up, ready to try get Draco in her arms to carry him to his room, he could use a really soft bed.

\- Allow me, my Mistress, it will hurt him less. - Dobby kneeled in front of her before snapping his fingers, making Draco’s body lift from the ground and start floating next to them.

\- Yes, thank you. - Narcissa murmured, taking the needed potions and her wand.

They walked like that to Draco’s room, lowering Draco in his bed after a soft warming charm was thrown over his sheets.

Draco let out a choked sound, falling back into unconsciousness right away.

Narcissa let herself fall down into the closest chair next to Draco’s bed, exhaustion taking over her body, tears starting to sting her eyes.

A soft blanket was pulled around her, Dobby looking apologetically at her. He pushed a soft cup of tea in her hands, kneeling down, his nose almost touching the ground.

\- Thank you. - She murmured before starting to sip her tea, not taking her eyes off her son.

Dobby sat down on the ground, near Draco’s bed, watching Draco just like Narcissa, getting up whenever Draco or Narcissa needed something, also getting some food for Narcissa to eat, understanding that none of them want to leave Draco alone.

 

Everything was black.

Was he dead?

Did being dead mean that you were thrown in the never-ending dark?

His body didn’t move.

But did he even have a body to move?

And who was he?

Was he even he?

He thought that he was, but was he right?

Who was he and where was he?

Dark, never ending dark.

PAIN.

No, no, please no!

 

Dark, hm, he was back in the dark, no pain this time.

How much time had passed?

He still didn’t feel his body.

Dark was all around him.

He still didn’t know who he was or where he was.

Maybe he really was dead.

 

It felt like he had been trapped in this dark for years now.

But what were years?

Did time even exist here in this dark?

He didn’t know.

Just like he didn’t know who he was or what he was doing in this dark.

 

Pain, never ending pain, shouting through him.

Or was that his non-existent body?

But pain was there, torturing him.

He wanted them to stop.

He tried to open his mouth to scream but no sound came out, he felt like the dark was choking him.

And then it was over, he had shut out again.

 

His mind felt a bit clearer by now.

But there still was no sense of his body or literally anything in the dark.

Only when pain came he could sense that he had a body. But where?

 

He remembered his name.

Draco.

Someone had whispered it to him.

Draco wanted to reach for this someone, tell them about the never ending dark.

But he couldn’t, his body still existing only when pain came.

 

He wished that his mind would turn off, that his head would be cloudy again and the dark would come back.

Pain was so strong and it never ended.

Fire came with it too, licking at the body that he started to feel now.

Fire and pain were trying to kill him.

Draco wanted to slip back into pitch black dark again.

It was calm there, lonely but calm, no pain came there.

 

He screamed and screamed till his throat was sore but pain didn’t stop, it only grew.

It seemed that with every time he tried to fight the pain, it grew stronger.

Draco was tired of it, so so tired.

He was sure that he had died and gone to hell to get a lifetime torture from the devil himself.

He begged and begged but it didn’t work, pain stayed there, holding him in a tight grip.

Draco wanted to die.

 

For the first time in what felt like hundreds of years, his eyes opened for a split second.

His eyelids felt too heavy to hold themselves up but a lovely voice calling his name made him try to hold his eyes open.

His vision way too blurry to make anything out, his eyes starting to sting right away.

A choked sound echoing in his ears.

It must have come from his own mouth.

Fire started back up right behind his eyes, licking him from the inside.

A choked scream escaped him right before darkness swallowed him whole again.

 

It was true hell, he was in hell, being slowly tortured.

Pain never stopping, his body burning.

He wished for death to come.

He begged for it whenever he could open his mouth and force words out.

Draco wanted to die.

 

He had no idea how much time had passed, but he could finally keep his eyes open for a little longer, his vision was still a bit blurry but he could make out shapes of objects around him.

His head pounding hard whenever he tried to think for a while longer.

But he felt his body, even when he still couldn’t really move it, he at least knew that it was there.

Draco still had no idea what had happened or why.

He spent most of his time sleeping in comfortable dark.

 

His memories slowly came back as he learned that the woman by his side was his mum and the house elf was his best friend.

Draco wished that his memory would stay in the hell he spent his time in.

With every new memory there came new nightmares.

He spent evenings begging his mother for the sleep potion so the nightmares wouldn’t hunt him, but no matter how much he begged, he got just a drop of it three times a week.

It was way too little, he needed more. 

He just couldn’t sleep without it.

Nightmares of memories torturing him, sending him back to the christmas morning when his father did this to him, when he was almost killed.

Draco usually ended up waking with  choked screams, throwing up straight away, his body spasming with memories.

 

Days passed and turned into weeks.

Weeks turned into months.

Calming snow turned into rain, matching Draco’s tears.

He was still way too weak to return to Hogwarts.

All he had managed to do was sit up for a bit and stand up on his own without fainting.

But he still couldn’t walk or move freely without anyone’s help.

Draco didn’t really speak, he simply didn’t want to and he wasn’t sure that his tongue could form anything more than gibberish pleas.

But no matter what, Narcissa wasn’t leaving his side, she was fussing around Draco like a newborn baby.

Draco wanted to hate it, hate how weak he was, but he just didn’t have strength for that.

 

Slowly, step by step, he learned to walk again, to eat on his own.

Eating on his own was terrible. 

His stomach had grown used to been fed on potions so when the first drops of food came, it was spasming, sending sharp pain through Draco’s body.

His body was throwing back any food they tried to shove down, Draco wanted to stop them, to scream for them to stop, he didn’t need to eat, he could starve. It would be less painful.

But his mother and Dobby kept pushing, babying with him, trying their best to feed. Going so far as to holding him down and showing food into his mouth.

Draco spent more than a week trying to get used to the food being in his stomach till he finally didn’t throw up right after eating.

After that the spasms in his stomach started to ease too, making eating easier once again, leaving him learning how to eat without others’ help.

The first time he tried to walk again was early one morning, way too early for anyone to be awake.

Draco was tired of lying in his bed with his body aching.

He lay awake for a while, simply looking at the ceiling, trying to turn his screaming mind off.

He was alone, finally.

It was rare they left him alone, always, always someone stayed to watch over him like some baby.

Draco finally pushed himself into a sitting position, scrunching up his face in pain that shot through his spine, his ribs had just healed, they needed to be re-broken again after growing together incorrectly.

Draco bit his tongue so as not to let out a sound, he knew that if he made some, someone would rush into his room, fussing over him like some baby who can’t take care of himself.

Just a bit more and he would be able to get his legs over the edge of the bed.

Draco pushed himself more, stronger pain shooting through his body, making him suck in deeper breaths.

Just a bit more, just a bit more and he will finally be able to touch the ground.

One more push.

His toes finally touched the ground, cold seeping into his skin, making him shiver.

But he pushed further, his feet landing on the soft carpet he had covering most of his room.

Draco closed his eyes for a second, taking a few deep breaths before pushing himself again, more and more weight pushing on his legs.

He was almost standing, now he just needed to let go of the bed frame.

Couple more breaths and he let go.

He was standing, he really was standing.

Draco lifted his chin a bit higher.

_ Ha, and they thought that I couldn’t do it. _

Draco lifted his leg with great difficulty, it seemed too heavy, and tried to put one step ahead.

And he did it, he was still standing.

He dragged his other leg close before stepping another step.

Still standing.

A small ray of hope start to rise inside Draco’s chest, he had walked two steps already, he was doing it. 

First steps in months.

One more, just a bit more and he will get to his goal, bathroom.

His feet touched the ground but when he tried to drag his other foot too. something happened, a sudden shot of sharp pain cut through his spine, blocking out his eyesight.

Wind suddenly brushed his skin.

He was falling.

A loud thud echoed through his ears right before sharp pain shot through his body, making him black out completely.

 

Draco woke up as a potion was being poured into his mouth, starting to cough, he tried to push himself into a sitting position but strong hands held him down.

\- Stay down. And swallow. -

The voice ordered, Draco listened.

Pain was fading away.

_ Ah, they gave me the sweet potion. Good. _

Draco felt pleasant numbness spread through his body, blocking out all the pain.

He had started to love these potions that took the pain away.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a sharp shake of his shoulders and a call of his name.

Draco opened his eyes, trying to glare at his mother but failing because he was feeling way too pleased, his mind a bit cloudy.

He liked his mind like that way better, then he could forget the terrible truth for a bit longer, ignore it.

\- What were you trying to do? - Narcissa asked in a slightly angry tone, still holding Draco by his shoulders.

\- I needed to pee. - Draco bit back, trying to swat away his mother’s hands but failing, his arms feeling way too heavy to be moved.

\- We already sorted that out. Why did you push yourself out of the bed, Draco? You could have hurt yourself badly! You already did hurt yourself. -

\- And I wanted to use the damn bathroom, okay? I wanted to go to the sodding bathroom like a normal human being! - tears started to sting his eyes, Draco looked away. - And I did walk… I walked three full steps before something happened… -

Draco murmured the last words almost as a whisper, hating his body for failing him again.

\- Draco… - Narcissa sighed, - We already talked about this a dozen times. Your spine still needs time to heal. It was too damaged for you to try walking so soon. You need to understand that. -

Draco stayed silent, looking out of the window where rain had started to strike against the glass.

\- Draco, please, you need to understand that we are just trying to help you not make it all worse. I l…- Draco cut his mother off before she could say these three hurting words.

\- Don’t you dare to say it to me now! - Draco turned to face his mother and snapped. - Don’t you dare! I don’t need these sodding lies! I am a disgrace! And now a vegetable in bed! Don’t you dare to lie so coldly to me! - 

It was a surprise to himself how high his tone rose in such flaring anger.

But then again, it was progress.

Anger.

Now there come anger, not just pain and tears.

A hurt look crossed Narcissa’s face, she seemed to be fighting an internal battle before sighing again, pulling a blanket tighter around Draco and pecking his forehead, leaning back in the chair next to Draco’s bed, ready to stay for longer.

Draco huffed out a breath, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep but failing.

He tried to push his hand closer to his mother, a shot of pain shooting through his body, forcing a choked sob to escape.

Narcissa’s soft hands taking hold of his hand right away, Draco tried to pull a bit, wanting to feel his mum closer.

Narcissa sighed before getting into the bed, pulling Draco closer, tightly against her body.

A comforting warmth seeped into Draco, lulling him to sleep.

 

After a couple of days Draco tried to stand again, this time with Narcissa holding him.

He felt like a baby.

But Draco gritted his teeth, ignoring the nudging pain in his spine, and stayed standing, gripping Narcissa’s hand a bit tighter than he wanted, accidentally letting her know that he was in pain.

But before she could speak, Draco pushed his leg forward, dragging his other leg with him.

One step.

Narcissa’s hand gripping him a bit tighter, just to help him balance his body.

Draco closed his eyes, the pain in his spine growing.

He shuffled his feet again, slowly, not taking them off the ground.

Second step.

Draco pushed himself more.

Third step.

Fourth.

Pain was so strong that his eyes started to sting, fire starting to lick the insides of his bones.

Fifth step.

Draco was dizzy, his stomach starting to spasm, bones burning.

Draco looked down at Narcissa’s hands, he was gripping them so tightly that all the bones were visible through the white skin.

He slowly raised his head to look at Narcissa, worry written all over her face, before Draco’s lips parted in a tiny gap and he was falling once again, everything going back, leaving flames licking his body.

 

Draco didn’t give up after that, he tried every day no matter how much pain it caused and how many nightmares the pain caused in the night, he just kept pushing himself.

He needed to do it, he just needed to.

So after nights of waking up with his throat sore from screaming, his fingertips bleeding and his body aching and spasming from nightmares, he still pushed himself up, taking baby steps till he finally have managed to walk all the way to his bathroom.

Draco just sat down on the toilet, starting to cry while peeing.

He just couldn’t stop the tears breaking out.

He didn’t have any strength left in him to actually get up, pull on his pajamas bottoms and stop crying like a baby.

After a minute or two, Draco had no real sense of time, everything felt like years to him, Narcissa finally kneeled in front of him, wiping away the tears.

\- I did it… - Draco choked out through the tears, putting his hands over his mother’s arms, childish joy spreading inside him, overshadowing the true pain. - I peed in the toilet… -

\- Yes, you did. My brave boy. You did. - Narcissa leaned over and pecked his cheeks, tears shimmering in her eyes.

\- I did it… - Draco murmured again, letting Narcissa lift him up and help him get his pajamas bottoms back on before pulling him into a soft hug.

\- My brave baby. I am proud of you, Draco, I am proud of you. - Narcissa whispered in his ear, lulling him into her arms.

A loving warmth spread inside Draco’s chest, he felt at ease for the first time in months.

 

Even if he couldn’t walk back to his bed on his own, it still was a small victory for Draco to be able to walk even a bit.

Every drop of pain was worth it.

Even when nightmares flared stronger because of every physical movement he did in the day, Draco still kept pushing himself to try and walk.

Soon enough being able to really slowly walk entirely on his own to the bathroom and back.

Narcissa almost teared up at that, cuddling Draco right after to ease his spinal pains, whispering in his ear how proud she was.

Draco didn’t admit it aloud, but he loved how his mother said it, how she held him close, he felt safe.

 

There were good days where he could walk slowly around the room, spending his time with Dobby, playing easy games and simply chatting.

But there was bad days too when everything was too much, nightmares that threw him back to the christmas morning taking up all his energy, leaving his body spasming and aching for most of the day, leaving him afraid to close his eyes, seeing how blood took over his vision. 

Days where the fire was trying to eat him alive from the inside, making him feel like all his bones were breaking once again.

Days where he had lost his voice from screaming in agony, crying his eyes out and bleeding all over his sheets.

Days where he just wanted to die, to close his eyes and stay in the comforting dark and to never ever return to reality.

On those days he usually got high on a big dose of pain and sleep potions, pushing aside the teary look of his mother and Dobby to the furthest corner of his brain, just wanting it all to stop.

On those days, all Draco wished was to be dead.

But when the days like that passed, clearing his mind, he started to wish to get out of the manor, to get back to  school, to see the annoying purebloods and most of all, to see Harry.

So no matter how much it hurt, Draco kept pushing himself to try and learn how to walk on his own again, how to function without the help of his mother and Dobby.

It was hard but Draco couldn’t wait to get out of the manor and back to school.

He didn’t want to leave it even when he had a chance to get homeschooled.

So by the time he managed to walk down the stairs and out into the garden by himself, Narcissa finally promised that she would let him return, just that he still needed to recover some more.

For now it was enough for Draco, enough to motivate him to keep on getting better.

 

It was April already, they had agreed that Draco would return to Hogwarts after easter break.

He would floo straight to Snape’s office, his mother was afraid that a train ride would be too much for him.

And who knows, it still was hard to concentrate for longer periods.

He knew that he was lucky he hadn’t ended up in St. Mungos mental ward.

But they still had no idea how his mind would react when he started using magic again.

He still woke up several times during the night, screaming in agony, nightmares way too fresh, leaving him gasping for breath even hours after.

Narcissa was afraid, it was written all over her face in the moments of weakness Draco had through the night.

Draco understood it clearly, he had no idea what his mind and body would do when he started using his own magic again.

He wasn’t even sure if he was still able to do any magic.

In all those months, he hadn’t felt any bit of his magic, leaving him wondering if it were possible to strip magic from its wizard.

He saw that his mother had the same thoughts crossing her mind.

So Draco just shrugged it all off, spending as much time as possible with Dobby, trying to get his mind off things.

 

The night before the important morning, Narcissa brought Draco his potion.

He knew that he had already gotten way too close to being addicted to them, having been pulled out of being addicted way too many times already but still being so close to slipping back inm wanting and needing them like air to breathe.

\- Just because you need to be well rested for tomorrow. - Narcissa whispered with a worried look, slowly undoing the small bottle.

Draco nodded, the smell of the potion making his mouth water, he licked his lips before reaching out for the small bottle with a tender shake in his hands, his eyes shining, a bit too glossy.

Narcissa seemed to pause for a moment, not really wanting to give Draco the potion, before finishing some unseen battle with herself and slowly helping Draco drink the potion.

Draco smacked his lips a couple of times before sliding down against his pillows, a calmness growing over his body already.

He pushed his fingers closer to the edge, curling them around Narcissa’s before letting his eyes close and his mind shut off for the night.

 

In the morning he was woken by the unpleasant feeling in his spine, groaning loudly before pushing himself out of the bed, not really wanting to get up.

\- Good morning, my young master, Draco. - Dobby greeted him right away.

\- ‘Morning, Dob… - Draco yawned, slowly and carefully stretching his body.

\- Your school robes have been laid out in the dressing area so you can pull them on right after taking a shower. Mrs. Malfoy said to be waiting for Draco downstairs to eat breakfast together, well, more like lunch. - 

\- Oh? - Draco’s mind was way too cloudy, a small side effect from the potion.

His mind was always a bit cloudy in the mornings but potions made it even more cloudy and it was hard for him to understand almost anything, just another thing he needed to get used to.

\- Today is the day, my young master, Draco, you can return to Hogwarts. -

\- Hogwarts… Oh, shite! Right! I am returning to Hogwarts today! Right. Thank you, Dob! - Draco suddenly felt fully awake, pecking Dobby’s head before he rushed to the bathroom as fast as he could.

After showering, he let Dobby help him put on his school robes, leaving the tie a bit loose just so it would be easier for him to breathe.

It already felt like he was suffocating with his shirt button up so high, the collar hugging his neck tightly, making memories of being choked by the curse flood back.

Draco gritted his teeth, hating these flashbacks that came whenever they pleased at the most random moments, making him uneasy.

Dobby lead Draco downstairs to meet Narcissa, tasty lunch already laid out for them to eat.

Draco was aware of the looks both Narcissa and Dobby were giving him while he ate but he chose to ignore them, not wanting to ruin his chances at returning to school today.

Draco was about to thank them for the meal when Lucius came into the room, the sight of him making Draco’s blood turn cold and icy, his stomach twisting painfully and his heart not wanting to work for a moment. 

He felt sick and when Lucius’ eyes landed on him, Draco felt himself get paler and smaller, trying to bury himself under the chair without realising.

\- The floo is ready for Draco to leave, Snape is waiting on the other side to help him get to the bed chambers. - was all that Lucius said, taking his eyes off Draco and turning to Narcissa.

\- Good, Draco, darling, are you ready to leave? - Narcissa asked so softly, taking hold of his hand, but he just couldn’t take his eyes off of Lucius, flashbacks not helping, punching him from inside.

In all that time, he had seen his father only twice, both times ending in terrible, panicked breakdowns, Narcissa needed to shove the calming potions down his throat.

And here he was again, facing his biggest fear, his nightmare.

Draco heard a choked sound escape his lips, making Lucius’ eyes bore into him once again.

Draco gripped Narcissa’s hand a bit too tight, forcing himself to push his shattered walls up, covering himself, hiding himself from Lucius before standing up and raising his chin a bit higher.

With one last look, he let go of his mother’s hand and walked past Lucius and out of the room, feeling his look like  daggers in his back but ignoring it as much as possible.

Narcissa shot a stern look at Lucius before following Draco to the floo.

Draco hugged Dobby before he needed to leave, not really caring about the reaction it could cause.

\- Wait for me at home, okay? - Draco whispered before letting go, earning a toothy grin from Dobby.

Narcissa pulled Draco into an unexpected hug full of love.

\- I love you and I am so, so proud of you, Draco. - She whispered in his ear, making him melt into the embrace for a moment before they needed to really leave.

\- Everything will be alright. - Draco murmured before taking a handful of floo, he wasn’t is it was toNarcissa and Dobby or more to himself, but they all needed to believe that, needed to believe that everything would be alright.

  
  



	11. Talk To Me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, i am really sorry that this chapter was uploaded after this long.
> 
> A lot of things have been going on and I just couldn't upload it faster.
> 
> I'm really sorry.
> 
> If you are still here after all this long silence, thank you, Thank You so so much.

**Talk To Me!**

 

When Draco stepped out of the floo, he lost his balance, his head spinning a bit from the short trip.

Snape grabbed his arm before he could hit the ground, helping him sit down on the chair near the big table next to the floo.

It took a couple of minutes for his head to stop spinning and his heart to calm down.

\- Welcome back. - Snape’s monotone voice made Draco look up for a bit.

\- Glad to be back. - 

\- You will need to attend a few extra classes to catch up with everything you have missed in these past couple of months but I’m sure that you can do that just fine. Here is your schedule with teachers as to when you have your extra classes. - Snape put down a piece of parchment with graphic on it. - It shouldn’t be a problem since you are no longer part of Slytherin quidditch team. -

Draco opened his mouth to protest or to ask, he wasn’t sure why, but before he could say anything, Snape gave him a bored but somehow stern and fatherly look.

\- You would be fully mental, if you think that after all this you are able to fly and even more, take part in a serious quidditch game. Don’t be a fool, Draco. There is next year. Now, let’s talk over your schedule so you understand everything and see if you have any questions. -

Draco nodded and for the next two hours, they talked over his schedule to get everything he had missed done.

Simply sitting back in Hogwarts and talking over something so simple as how to get back every lesson he had missed made Draco at ease again, he felt calm and relaxed. This was where he belonged.

\- And DADA you will learn with me, half of our meetings we will give to that and the other half to potions. Okay, that should be it. I will see you tomorrow morning at a double potion lesson. I’m sure that you won’t have a problem following the potion we will be brewing. - Snape stood up and walked to the other side of his desk, opening one of the drawers and taking something out.

When the light hit it just right, Draco’s breath hitched for a moment.

His wand.

Snape was holding his wand and now coming back in front of Draco and giving it to him.

Draco looked at it, sudden worry blooming inside his chest.

\- What if I end up in St. Mungos mental ward…? - He murmured, not even sure if he have said it out loud.

\- You are way stronger than that. - 

Draco looked up at Snape before slowly taking hold of his wand with trembling hands, sudden panic rushing over him when nothing happened, his wand lying in his hand, lifeless.

Panic started to rise even more when finally something hot and bright started to wake up somewhere deep inside Draco and then there it was, the steady flow of magic rushing through his body, through his bones and veins, tickling his fingertips and making bright blue sparks shoot out of the tip of his wand.

A childish joyful chuckle left Draco’s lips as he raised his wand a bit higher.

\- Try any spell, just to see how it feels. - Snape’s whisper came from somewhere behind Draco.

Draco muttered a simple spell, magic zumming stronger inside him, making him feel alive for the first time in months, lifting up the darkness covering over him.

Draco let out a shaky breath, letting his hand drop into his lap, comforting magic zumming inside him.

In that moment, he understood how much he had actually missed feeling his magic and how much it kept him alive.

\- Your stuff is already at your bed in the dorms. You should go and rest, tomorrow won’t be too easy for you. - 

Draco nodded and rose to leave, stopping at the door when a thought crossed his mind; he turned back to face Snape.

\- What is the official version of why I missed school all these months? -

\- Sudden sickness. - Snape answered in his monotone voice, his back already turned to Draco.

Draco just nodded, walking slowly to his dorm room.

He felt lucky that no one was around, his joy was drained and he was exhausted from walking.

Draco was tired, his bones feeling heavy and his mind still buzzing but not so  pleasantly anymore, he just wanted to sleep.

So when Draco, with a little difficulty, put on his silky pyjamas and finally lay down in bed, a sigh left him, his eyes fluttering shut and sleep taking over his exhausted body.

 

Draco shot upright with sudden panic, his heart beating way too fast, hammering against his ribcage as if trying to escape.

Fearful eyes shot around himself through the dark.

_ Did someone scream? _

_ Someone did scream… _

A sudden yank of his bed curtains made Draco yelp a bit and back against headboard, hugging his legs close.

\- Draco, are you alright? Shit, wait. - Someone murmured, before murmuring a soft lumos, and then there was soft light pouring inside the dark of Draco’s bed and a friendly but worried face looking straight at him.

\- Blaise? - Draco cocked his head to the side, his mind feeling way too heavy, way too cloudy.

\- Yeah, you screamed. Is everything alright? - 

\- Oh… I was the one screaming… - Draco mumbled, running a shaking hand through his hair, he didn’t even remember what he was dreaming about. 

\- Do you need anything? -

\- What? - Draco looked back up. - Oh, no, no. I just, i think i had a bad dream… I am not sure, I don’t remember… - 

\- Here, drink some water, you look really pale. - Blaise accio-ed a glass of water, giving it to Draco and when Draco failed to take hold of it because of his shaky hands, he helped him drink.

Draco was thankful for that. In that moment he understood his mother’s worries about him and all returning to school.

He could imagine how his mother would baby him right in this moment.

Blase was still sitting at the edge of Draco’s bed, watching him with worried eyes.

\- Shoot, whatever you want to ask. - Draco sighed, leaning back against the pillows.

\- It’s nothing, I am just worried. You look so pale, like, even paler than usual and I haven’t seen you since last term. - Blaise shrugged.

\- I know. Sorry for waking you up. - Draco sounded so tired, his eyes so heavy.

\- If you need something, anything, I’m right in the next bed, alright? I’ll let you sleep now. - Blaise stood up, glancing back at Draco once more before drawing the curtains shut.

Draco sighed again, slowly closing his eyes, his mind like heavy liquid drowning him.

 

Next morning came with the already so familiar ache in his bones, leaving Draco needing an extra five minutes to get out of the bed. 

When he walked into the great hall, his eyes scanned the room, searching for that one mop of dark hair, spotting him just a couple seconds later, sitting with his friends and chatting cheerfully.

Granger seem to notice him first, elbowing Harry.

And then their eyes met, making a shiver run down Draco’s spine.

He tried to shrug it off, walking to his own table, slowly starting to eat, knowing well enough that Harry wouldn’t try to come up there to do anything, letting Draco get lost in his mind.

Draco was pulled out of his mind when a big eagle owl landed right in front of him, nudging him with its sharp beak.

\- Hello to you too. - Draco sighed, softly letting his fingers brush against the soft feathers before taking the small package and giving the own something to eat.

Draco leaned back a bit, slowly opening his package.

 

_ Draco, darling, I hope that your first night at  Hogwarts was okay. _

_ Snape said that everything went well with your wand. _

_ I am just worried, please owl me. _

_ Here is a calming potion, take three drops in your tea in the morning to help ease your mind a bit and three drops in the evening before going to sleep. _

_ But no more than three drops! _

_ And don’t roll your eyes at me, I just don’t want you to get too addicted. _

_ I also put in a box of the best belgium chocolate, that one you really liked. _

_ If you need anything at all, just owl me, and if something happens or you feel like it’s all too much, go straight to Snape and he will floo you home. _

_ I love you, my brave dragon. _

  1. _Malfoy._



 

Draco folded the letter and put it in his bag before taking out the small purple-ish vial and putting three drops into his tea.

After taking just a couple sips of the tea, a warm tingle ran through his bones and the fog in his mind started to ease a bit.

He liked that potion, whoever discovered it was a great person.

Draco finished his tea before slowly walking back to the dungeons to their potions.

He was met with an eager Harry watching the door but just his luck that right when he walked in the room, Snape stood up, starting his lesson.

Draco softly dropped down on the bench in the far corner, starting to get lost in the potion making, the one thing he enjoyed doing.

He didn’t even notice how fast the time went by; when Snape stopped at his table, almost everyone was already gone from the class.

Draco just shrugged, giving his potion to Snape, knowing that it was perfect before slowly making his way to the next class, thankfully a class without Harry in it.

For some weird reason, Draco wanted to put meeting Harry as far away as possible.

The day slowly went by, exhausting Draco fully, setting a dull ache into his head, his spine stinging him at every step, caused by too many stairs taken in just one day.

He felt thankful to plop down at the dinner table, taking out his potion and dropping three drops in his tea, sipping it with closed eyes, waiting for that calming tingle to take over him, ease his mind.

But just his luck, Pansy sit down right beside him, starting to chat once again.

She had annoyed Draco all day and no matter how many times he pushed her off, she just seemed to ignore it and kept going. Annoying girl.

Blaise sat down on the other side of Draco, shooting Pansy a dirty look.

\- Can you finally shut up? He was sick, Pans, that means that he still needs some peace and you annoying him will only cause him to get bad again, so please, shut up and think about someone else for a bit too. - Blaise said, a bit annoyed, not taking his eyes of Pansy, who had finally shut her mouth.

Draco murmured a soft thank you to Blaise before trying to eat a bit, but his eyes kept darting toward the Gryffindor table where Harry was eyeing him.

Draco looked down at his plate, eating slowly, not really feeling hungry and soon giving up on getting food down, simply sipping his tea.

\- ‘M going to bed. - Draco murmured to Blaise, slowly pushing himself up, feeling his spine protest.

\- You haven’t really eaten anything. - Blaise looked up with worry coloring his face yet again.

\- Not hungry. - Draco shrugged. 

Blaise wanted to say something more but Draco just walked away.

He was too tired to make excuses, his body was sore from all the walking and his head was pounding with a soft headache somewhere in the back of his head.

But just his luck, before he could get to the stairs, Harry ran to him.

\- Draco! - Harry breathed out. - I have tried to talk to you all day. Oh my, you have lost so much weight. What happened? Why weren't you at school? Are you alright now? -

\- Could you please shut up? - Draco groaned, pressing his cold hand against his forehead.

\- Are you not feeling well? Do I need to take you to Madam Pomfrey? - 

\- Just shut up, okay? I have a headache and I'm tired. We can talk another time. Just not now. - Draco huffed out before walking away, not listening anymore.

He just wanted to get into bed and sleep.

And that was what he did, it took him just a couple minutes to fall asleep.

 

Everything hurt, his body was tired, his mind was tired, he was tired, so damn tired but he needed to keep going, but oh, how tired he was.

And everyone was so loud, driving him crazy.

He had been back for only a week, he couldn’t give up yet. Mother would pull him home right away if she got to know how bad Draco was doing right now.

And then there was Potter.

Trying to talk to Draco in any free moment, not taking a no as an answer.

And, lucky as he was, there he came, a big grin spreading over his face, his green eyes shining, talking excitedly with his friends but as he spotted Draco leaning against the wall, he murmured something more before walking straight to him.

Draco groaned, pushing himself away from the cold wall and trying to turn to walk away but Harry grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

\- Draco, please talk to me. I’m worried. - His tone was gentle and made Draco sick and want to cry.

\- Some other time, okay? - Draco knew that his voice sounded flat,  worry flashing in Harry’s eyes.

\- Are you alright? Do you need to sit down? - 

\- You won’t leave me alone, will you? - Draco finally looked up and into Harry’s eyes.

\- No. You won’t get rid of me so easy. -

\- Of course. - Draco leaned back against the wall, seeking its cold stones to take away the flames licking him from the inside.

\- Draco. Draco! - 

\- What? -

\- You blacked out there for a second. Come on, I’m taking you to the hospital wing. -

\- No, no, no. I can’t go there. -

\- Why not? You’re not feeling well. -

\- Because then Mother will take me home. I don’t want to. I want to keep studying here. - 

\- Oh, but we need to do something… -

\- Just help me get to Snape. -

Harry grit his teeth for a second before nodding and helping Draco stand back up.

\- Just please, stop touching me. - Draco couldn’t stop the shiver that ran over him.

\- Sorry… - Harry slowly let go of Draco, lingering just a bit longer at his hand.

\- Hand is fine. Just wouldn’t seem quite right walking through Hogwarts holding hands, would it now? - Draco tried to joke but his tone come out flat and filled with pain.

Harry still let out a snort before letting go of Draco’s hand but staying close.

A fog start to fill up Draco’s eyesight, creeping up from the corners of his eyes, taking over and making everything blurry, forcing him to blink way too much.

Someone was saying something but it sounded like he was underwater, he knew that his mind would shut down soon.

He needed to get to the potions and then to his bed.

He was so damn tired, he wanted to sleep.

\- Draco, hey, hey, open your eyes. Draco. - A soft hand was pressed against his cheek, snapping him back into reality as much as it was possible in that moment.

Green eyes were staring him deep in the eyes, Draco blinked, trying to search for the name of these beautiful eyes but the fog in his head was so thick that it was causing him pain.

\- Just a bit more, but I still think that you need to let me take you to the hospital wing. -

Draco just frowned at the mention of a hospital, he didn’t need one.

Before he could reply, they stopped by heavy black doors and the green eyed one knocked.

The door swung open, a scary angry face poking out.

\- What do you want, Potter? - it snapped.

\- Malfoy isn’t feeling well, he asked me to help him get to you, professor, even when I insisted that he should go to the hospital wing. -

Draco looked at this Potter, something inside him stirring awake, starting to fight back against the aching flames.

The Professor didn’t answer, just grabbed Draco by his wrist, causing a loud yelp to escape his lips.

He almost dragged him into the chamber, slamming the door shut right in the green-eyed boy’s face before he could enter.

\- Can you tell me what happened? How do you feel? - The Professor pushed Draco into the chair and start rummaging through the shelves of different sized vials, searching for something.

\- Pain and flames… Flames came back. It burned and now that damn fog… I don’t like it, but whenever I try to push it away the flames grow and it hurts… - Draco mumbled, feeling way too tired to speak, he just wanted to sleep, just for a small moment.

\- Draco! - A loud voice made him jump a bit and come back from comforting dark.

He slowly lifted his head to see dark eyes looking back at him, pushing something against his lips.

Was that poison? Is this man trying to kill him? Did father send him?

So many questions swirled through his mind but he still parted his lips and swallowed all liquid passing them.

The flames started to die down with every small drop of the potion, pain dulling down.

Draco didn’t even notice himself grabbing at the man’s hands and dragging the vial closer, gulping down the content like he had been thirsty for years.

He just wanted it all to stop so when the calming effect from the potion came, he was ready to jump up with joy.

Then another potion was brought closer to him.

Oh, this one he knew, that sweet dreamy scent of it.

His fingers ached to get that potion to him. A primitive need growing bigger and bigger inside him.

He needed it.

And the man gave it to him, not letting go of it, giving Draco just a couple of drops.

Draco let out a choked growl, trying to get more than just a couple of drops, he needed more like the air to breathe, if not more, he just needed it.

With some lucky miracle, the hold on the man’s hand loosened enough for Draco to tilt the vial back and down all of its contents as a loud knock echoed through the room.

The man cursed, snatching back the now-empty vial and dropping it on the desk before pulling Draco up, leading him to the door.

There was a woman standing by the door, her eyes trailing over Draco.

She was saying something but Draco couldn’t hear what, the man was also speaking but Draco didn’t really care, all he cared about was the familiar pleasant feeling pooling in his stomach, spreading through his bones and tired body.

He barely noticed being led to his dorm room and being given help to lie down, he barely noticed anything at all around him.

All he noticed was the pleasant feeling inside him.

It felt like coming home after a hard day.

He finally could relax and let the pleasant feeling take over him fully.

 

He slowly started to wake up by the next evening, his body and mind sore from the day before.

And then it came tripping over him.

Guilt.

He had slipped.

He had downed the pain and sleeping potion like it was nothing.

And right in front of Snape, who had probably already inform his mother.

Draco wanted to curse himself for being such an idiot.

He was ashamed of his stupidity.

He knew that he should get up, go and talk to Snape, but his body was sore and his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

Draco groaned again before slowly turning around and closing his eyes.

Somewhere deep down, he knew that he should eat something, he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday’s breakfast, but he had grown so used to ignoring feeling hungry that it didn’t bother him at all right now.

He slipped into a light sleep for a moment before he was woken up by someone opening his bed curtains.

Draco blinked a couple of times before adjusting to the candle light from the room around.

\- Hi, glad to see you awake. - Blaise sat down on the side of Draco’s bed.

\- M? - Draco groaned before slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position.

Without saying anything, Blaise pushed a bottle of juice into his hand and Draco downed it in a couple of glups, murmuring a soft thank you.

\- Are you feeling any better? I brought you some food from dinner. - Blaise put down some bits of various food into Draco’s lap.

Draco hummed in appreciation, starting to eat, understanding just how hungry he actually was.

Blaise was watching him with a funny look on his face.

\- What? - Draco snapped without even meaning to.

\- Nothing. How are you feeling? You still look really pale. -

\- Oh, I’m okay, better. -

\- What really happened yesterday? -

\- I probably just stressed a bit too much about that exam. Don’t worry. - 

\- It didn’t seem like it. Also Potter seems really worried. You sure that he didn’t hex you or something? -

\- What? Where did that come from? Why would he hex me? -

\- I don’t know… You had quite a rough time at the start of term… - Blaise looked ashamed, looking down at his hands.

\- Oh, well, we worked it all out before christmas, he just helped me get to Snape, that’s all. No need to worry. Thank you for bringing me food. - Draco slowly tried to stretch, scrunching up his nose at the soreness in his muscles.

\- Okay, but if you need anything, just ask me, okay? I’m your friend after all. Pans too. - Blaise stood up, giving Draco one last look before walking away.

Draco slid lower down into his pillow, pondering the words Blaise had said before leaving.

Were they his friends?

He didn’t know but, thinking it all over, it seemed like it.

 

News travels fast at Hogwarts.

Even the ones you shouldn’t be talking about.

Hermione Granger had been attacked by the basilisk.

Draco cursed before rushing out of the common room. He needed to find Harry and talk to him.

He had pushed back talking for a good while but right then, he knew that he needed to find Harry.

He found Harry in the second floor corridor, rushing somewhere with Ron Weasley.

\- Harry! - Draco called out, trying to catch the two.

\- Draco? - Harry turned around, surprised to see Draco stopping right in front of him.

\- What do you want, Malfoy? - Weasley snapped, earning a glare from Draco.

\- Shut it, Weasel. - Draco hissed before turning to Harry, grabbing his arm and dragging him to the side. - I heard what happened… Harry, I’m sorry… -

\- We were rushing to see her… They say that the cure will be ready soon… - Harry murmured, looking away.

Draco felt a painful pinch in his chest at seeing Harry like this so he did the only thing that he could think of and pulled Harry into a tight hug.

He needed to step over himself for that, he still couldn’t allow anyone touch him so much, it was still way too fresh.

He shivered when Harry’s warm arms snuck around him, gripping him tight, his breath hitching for a moment, but he felt how Harry relaxed in his arms and tried to relax too.

\- Everything will be alright. I just know it. It all will be alright, Harry. - Draco murmured into his ear, holding him close for a moment longer and then letting go.

\- Thank you. - Harry smiled weakly.

\- Now, go on, go visit her. I’ll talk to you later okay? And then we can talk. About everything. I’m sorry that I was avoiding you all this time, I just wasn’t ready to talk about all the things that have happened. -

\- I know and that’s alright. I’ll see you. - Harry flashed one more smile before turning to the dumbfounded Weasley and rushing away to the hospital wing.

Draco watched them go, staying in the dark corridor all alone, feeling cold and missing Harry’s warmth right away.

He let out a shaky breath before turning around and slowly walking back down to their dorms.

 

It all happened so fast. No one really understood what was happening.

The girl Weasley had been taken to the chamber of secrets.

Harry Potter had gone to rescue her.

Draco was going crazy, he was angry and scared and all his nerves seemed to sparkle from overload.

After what felt like hours, the news came that everyone involved had been transported to the hospital wing.

Draco didn’t need to hear more before he was running.

His body protested, it still needed a lot of catching up before he could do anything physical activities like running or flying. But at that moment he didn’t care, he just needed to get to the hospital wing and see Harry.

Draco found him right away, the dark-haired boy sitting in one of the hospital beds, covered in dust and blood.

Draco rushed to him, anger sparkling though his body.

\- You filthy arrogant idiot! How dare you!? How dare you be so stupid! You could have died! Don’t you know that basilisks are poisonous?! They kill with just one look! One look! But no, you must throw yourself in danger! You idiot! What were you even thinking?! You could have been killed! Killed! You… you hero-complexed git! - Draco’s voice broke at the end, tears treating to spill over.

\- Draco… - Harry tried to speak but Draco cut him off.

 - I could have lost you! I already almost lost you and now you, on your own will, go and make me live through that again! This, this is why you should never have come back to Hogwarts! You always find a way to get yourself into trouble! Just look at yourself! You are all bloody! Don’t you even care?! You could have died! Down there! This is the reason I ordered Dobby to hold you back, to keep you safe, but no, of course the golden boy needs his piece of danger! You stupid prick! - A tear made its way down his cheek, his eyes burning from holding back tears.

\- You what? How did you think that you were losing me before? When and why? A..And Dobby? You ordered him? To save me? To get me expelled?! You? It all was you? - Harry stood up, making Draco take a step back.

\- I needed to know that you would be safe! -

\- So you knew… You knew all about the basilisk? - Harry’s look darkened and Draco didn’t like it.

\- No, yes but no… -

\- Of course… I should have known. I knew that your father could do something like this but you! I thought that you were my friend! But yet you planned all this out together with your father! Did you tell him to put the diary in Ginny’s stuff? -

\- What? Harry… What...What diary? -

\- Don’t try to look stupid! Answer me! -

\- No! I didn’t know! All I knew was that he would do something that involved the basilisk so I ordered Dobby to go and save you! To keep you safe! -

\- He almost got me expelled! -

\- It would have been for the best! -

\- For whom? You?! You are so selfish! Grow up, Malfoy! -

\- Me? I need to grow up? I have gone through more than you can imagine so the one who should grow up is you! -

\- Then go on and be proud that you and your damn father almost killed a bunch of innocent kids! Go and get a pat on the shoulder from him! Ask him to buy you some luxurious things once again! -

\- Shut up! - It all was getting way too much for Draco, his head was pounding and his heart seemed to be ready to burst, flames starting to lick his bones once again.

\- Why? Why should I shut up when it’s just plain reality? You are a spoiled brat who has never been hurt about serious things because you have always had everything you wish! -

\- You don’t know anything! You don’t know what I have been through! You have no idea! - Tears started to flow over his cheeks but he didn’t even feel them, he just turned around and walked away, crouching in one of the dark alcoves and crying.

A soft crack could be heard beside him, then a familiar hand was pressed against his shoulder.

\- Just take me home… - Draco sobbed out, leaning against the small house elf.

\- Dobby is sorry, my young master Draco, but Dobby can’t do that… - Dobby started to stroke Draco’s hair.

\- Why not? - Draco looked up with bloodshot eyes.

\- Because Dobby is no longer a Malfoy family house elf… Master gave Dobby a sock. -

\- What? - Draco felt another wave of tears coming, in one day he had lost two of his dearest friends.

\- Mr. Harry Potter did put a sock into the book and Master gave the book to Dobby, giving him the sock and freeing him… -

Draco wanted to scream, he knew that he should be happy about that, he knew but he just couldn’t. All he felt was pain, deep deep pain.

Dobby stayed and held him while he cried.

Draco should have been happy about that too but all he could think of was how he wished that he had died all those months ago.

He wished to be dead, losing the last pieces of his happiness and hope, losing his will to live.

  
  
  



	12. Summer To...Forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait but I hope that you can enjoy this chapter.

**_Summer To...Forget._ **

  
  


His eyes were swollen, his hands shaking, his whole body shaking, his lungs clenching and not wanting to take in  air. A big black hole was spreading somewhere deep inside him, somewhere where there should be heart. But all he could do was lie there, on the stone cold ground, without moving.

He should try harder to breathe in, he should fight harder to stop his body from spasming, he should try harder but he was tired, way too tired to even try, and he was ready to give up, so he just stayed there, letting his body do what it wanted without stopping it, letting the last hot tears stream down his pale cheeks, his eyelids trembling, he was ready to die.

But something cold pressed against his open lips, something like soothing rain moving down his throat, making the flames die down a bit and letting the darkness take over him.

The last thought running through his head before everything was turned off was simple:   _ Finally. _

 

The first thing he noticed was his lungs sucking in air.

Then his cloudy mind being heavy as always.

Flames gone, along with spasms.

And a damn light shining right into his closed eyes.

He was alive.

What a disappointment.

Draco groaned before opening his eyes and looking around the room he was in.

Hospital wing.

_ Great. _

Draco ignored his aching bones and slowly pushed himself up.

Madam Pomfrey rushed to him right away, urging him to lie back down, rambling about some attack he had the night before and how he should rest.

Draco just rolled his eyes, not in the mood to argue, he might as well skip one damn school day, it wouldn’t make any difference anyway.

When Madam Pomfrey had made sure that Draco was okay and not going anywhere, she walked to other patients.

Draco closed his eyes, trying to catch some more sleep before having to face his angry mother.

Just a couple hours later he sat in front of Snape’s fireplace, his mother’s beautiful face ruined by worry looking at him through the fireplace.

\- I’m okay, Mother. -

But of course you couldn’t silence Narcissa Malfoy with such a simple saying. She went on and on about it all till she ran out of breath.

\- Fine, I’ll finish my finals and then right after the last one, I’m going home through floo, okay? I’m tired, going to sleep. It was good seeing you, Mother. Goodnight. - Draco didn’t wait for a reply, he simply pushed himself back up with small difficulty and walked out of the room.

He really was tired and even if he knew that it was better to be at Hogwarts, he couldn’t wait to get home.

 

Draco stayed lowkey for the rest of the term, he mostly skipped meals just to avoid going to the great hall, he stayed in the shadows during classes and exams, he spent most of his time away from all the people. Being alone was what was for the best for him right now.

It was afternoon when he stepped out of roaring green flames onto the Manor’s  polished floors.

Narcissa and Lucius were waiting for him.

Narcissa was standing close to the floo while Lucius stood by the door, hands on his cane.

When Draco stumbled forward, Narcissa reached out to hug him but without even wanting to, Draco flinched when her hand just touched his arm; hurt washed over her face at seeing that.

Draco hated hurting his mother but right now he still wasn’t able to let anyone touch him, not yet, all the scars still way too fresh.

\- Welcome home. Are you hungry? You look so skinny. - Narcissa softly pushed his hair out of his eyes before leading him out of the room down to the dining hall.

\- I’m not really hungry, mother. And I’m not skinny. You’re overreacting. - Draco kept his tone bored, an annoying ache starting at the back of his head already.

Lucius following behind him was keeping Draco tense, he could feel his presence like a block of burning ice suffocating him, making the ache in his head just spread bigger.

\- I’m just glad that you are home, that’s all. - Narcissa pecked Draco’s cheek, holding out a chair for Draco to sit down at the rich dining table.

\- Thank you, mother. - Draco nodded before sitting down, leaning back against the high chair, trying to get some tension out of the muscles that promised him to start aching soon enough.

But no matter how much he tried to relax, he just couldn’t. Lucius’ presence so close to him meant he was on the edge, his whole body tensing whenever Lucius moved, the ache in his head spreading.

To make Draco even more uneasy, at the very start of the meal, Lucius had turned to him, reaching out his hand, ordering Draco to give away his wand yet again.

Draco started to feel even more at a loss without the feeling the familiar wood being pressed against his skin, the tender touch of his magic tickling his skin.

So by the third firewhiskey drink Lucius was having, Draco was feeling on edge, barely holding his head above the water.

Lucius went on and on about how everything had been great when the Dark Lord had ruled and how the damn basilisk had failed him and the Dark Lord, and how the sodding Potter had ruined everything yet again.

Potter, Potter, Potter.

He just couldn’t shut up, could he?

Draco’s hands curled into fists, his head pounding already, but Lucius just went on, snarling out rude comments.

\- He’s just a pathetic fame lover, he and the shameful thing he calls his family. - Lucius snarled, putting his glass of firewishey down.

Draco slapped his fist on the table, a low growl escaping his lips, anger already growing.

\- Enough. - 

\- Excuse me? - Lucius turned to look at Draco, fully surprised by the sudden outburst.

Narcissa’s pleading eyes tried to meet Draco’s burning ones, pleading for something Draco couldn’t control.

\- I said ENOUGH! - a firewishey glass in front of Lucius shattered in pieces.

\- How dare you! - Lucius start but Draco cut him off.

\- How dare you?! How dare you talk like that about him and his family? He is just a boy! And at least his family cares about him and treats him right! So how dare You talk such shit?! Dark Lord this and that! Fuck that Dark Lord! - every object on the table was trembling terribly at Draco’s anger.

Lucius looked shocked, opening his mouth to say something, but Draco cut him off again.

\- Look at yourself! Who are you?! Torturing your own child just because he isn't an exact copy of you and your damn Dark Lord! You, You are pathetic not him! - Draco was shaking with burning anger, not able to speak fast enough to let his anger out.

\- You do everything you can to ruin my life, to ruin Harry’s life! And bravo, you did it! You almost killed me and you almost killed Harry! And now because of you, he hates me! You made him think that I was responsible for that basilisk! You made my only friend hate me! - all the silverware rose from the table, snapping toward Lucius, ready to pierce through him.

By now Draco was shaking so hard that it was almost impossible to sit.

\- Draco. - Narcissa softly called out, trying to get Draco’s attention, fear dancing in her eyes.

\- Not now, Mother. - Draco murmured back without looking away from Lucius before pushing himself upwards. - Mother and I will be going to the France manor first thing in the morning. -

Draco hissed the last words before turning on his heel and walking away, the silverware still hanging in the air, pointing at Lucius, not allowing him to move an inch.

Only when Draco slammed his bedroom door shut with a loud bang did it clutter down on the table, letting Lucius breathe out.

Anger was still flaming inside Draco when he entered his room.

He couldn’t help himself, he wasn’t in control of his body or his magic.

He just screamed, letting several objects fly up or shatter into pieces around him, his magic out of control.

He dropped to his knees, screaming his anger out, glass flying everywhere.

He screamed till the screams turned into choked out sobs, everything slowly lowering back to the ground, his magic calming down.

He just lay down on the ground, crying out his eyes till sleep took over his exhausted body.

 

Of course he couldn’t sleep throughout the night like a normal person. His mind was wrecked with nightmares that sent his body aching, screams ripping through him.

But this time no one came to wake him up, to calm him down.

He was alone in the dark room, surrounded by a million pieces of shattered glass.

So when the sun finally rose, drying the last stains of tears on his paper pale face, he pushed his aching body up, his magic already zumming like an angry wasp trying to break out.

Draco really couldn’t care, he was just too tired to try and stop his magic, to try and push it down and back into frames, so he let it be, let it loose to do whatever it wanted.

With every step he took, everything around him started trembling with the force of his magic trying to get out.

But at least nothing was starting to break or fly away.

Draco stopped in front of the floo, waiting for his mother, who came rushing in to the room just a minute after.

Her face was pale and eyes were dark from lack of sleep.

She slowly approached Draco but was stopped when objects around Draco started to tremble even harder, on the edge of shattering into pieces.

\- Draco, - She breathed out, holding her hand out to Draco.

Draco looked down at it for a moment, then, looking up at his tired mother, just by the look on her face, he knew that he had kept her awake all night too.

With a soft sigh, Draco took hold of Narcissa’s hand, softly pulling her inside the fireplace with him, murmuring under his breath the new location.

Draco fell down on his knees out of the fireplace, his head spinning.

Narcissa was right beside him in a second, softly helping him up, holding him close but far enough that Draco would feel comfortable.

\- Let’s get you to the bed, you are exhausted. - She murmured before leading Draco to his room, helping him get into bed before summoning a small vial of potion Draco knew way too well, giving it to Draco with a sad sigh.

Draco closed his eyes, feeling how the cool potion made its way down his throat, sighing in relief.

It felt like a rock hard blanket was lifted off his body, he felt his magic calming down, slowly pulling itself back to where it needed to rest, leaving exhaustion and sleep behind.

In just a couple of seconds, Draco was off in the comforting darkness, his mind and senses shutting off.

He was at peace.

 

Draco spent the first week in his room, not leaving his bed, his nightmares never stopping.

That caused a lot of arguments between him and his mother, all the arguments about potions and how much Draco should take them.

He knew that he should feel ashamed about slipping back into being addicted to the simple potions but he was just too damn tired, he just wanted to escape the reality, escape who he was.

When Narcissa finally pushed Draco out of his room, he had already lost even more weight, barely moving and not caring at all, his mind cloudy from the amount of potions he had chugged down in the last week.

But you couldn’t say no to a determined Narcissa.

By the end of the week, Draco was fully sober, eating at least one proper meal a day and spending almost all of his time outside on his balcony.

Draco almost didn’t speak at all so it was a big surprise when one morning, Draco came out of his room, sitting down at the breakfast table, actually starting to eat and asking Narcissa to go out to explore France with him.

It was the first time Narcissa smiled again, warming Draco’s heart.

So every day, Draco would come up with the silliest ideas for where they could go and what they could do just to see Narcissa light up, a warm smile spread over her lips.

He didn’t know that Narcissa smiled not because of all the silly exploring ideas but because of the light in Draco’s eyes when he came up with such ideas.

 

But there were still bad days, days when nightmares left Draco screaming in agony, Narcissa not being able to wake him up.

Days where Draco wouldn’t eat or even leave his room.

Days where all Draco wanted was to end it all.

After a really hard week, Draco finally came out to eat, dark bruises covering his body.

\- Draco, darling, I have a guest for you. - Narcissa’s voice was gentle, not too loud.

\- M? - Draco leaned back in his chair, looking over to his mother who was standing with a tall boy.

Draco scanned him, not really understanding if the guy was a wizard or a muggle.

But stylish anyway.

\- This is Alexander Grey. - 

The boy stepped closer to Draco, extending his hand; Draco just looked down at it with a frown before looking back at his mother, urging her to continue.

\- He will be your personal therapist… - before Narcissa could finish Draco cut her off, pushing himself up.

\- No. I don’t need a therapist. No. What are we now, rescue center for lost puppies? Go and dump him where you found him. - 

\- Draco. -

\- Mother. -

\- Draco, - Alexander tried but was cut off by a death glare from Draco.

\- Don’t you dare call me by my name, you have no right! To you I am Malfoy! Understand?! - Draco felt a fire of anger, his magic roaring to life, making things around him start to shake.

\- Fine by me. Your mother has asked me to help you because you are out of control, your magic is out of control. - his words were followed by a vase exploding. - Just like now. You need to understand that it can not only harm you but also everyone around you. So tell me, are you really so selfish as to be putting your mother in such danger? -

\- Do you even know who you are talking to right now? How dare you? -

\- Oh, please. Cut the bullshit, will you? - Grey crossed his arms over his chest.

Draco frowned but his magic calmed down to soft zumm.

\- That’s better. So, let’s start again. I’m Alex and we will work all summer to help you. -

\- Fine. - Draco slid back down in his chair, starting to eat again.

Grey and Narcissa sat down too.

\- Tomorrow morning we will start with simply getting to know each other. Then we will slowly work our way up to helping you heal and deal with your trauma. I believe that slowly we will work our way up and you will get better. You just need to want to get better. -

\- And what if I don’t? What if I wish that I had died all those months back? What if I want to die? Hm? What then? - Draco leaned back in his chair, looking over at Grey.

\- Then I will work hard to make you want to live. To see all the reasons to feel the joy of living. You say that you are Malfoy, then stop being a coward and start living. I’ll see you tomorrow. - Grey stood up, smiled at Draco, and walked away.

Draco watched him go before turning to face his worried mother.

\- I like him. -

\- I thought so, he has similar sassines to yours. - Narcissa smirked, pecking Draco’s forehead. - I have one more surprise for you. -

\- One more lost pupper? - Draco joked without any humor in his words.

\- Something even better. Turn around. -

Draco furrowed his brows in confusion, turning around and almost dropping to the ground.

\- Dobby! - Draco let out a broken sob, throwing himself out of the chair and into the open arms of the house elf.

\- My sweet, young master, Draco. - Dobby smiled, holding Draco in his arms, letting Draco sob.

\- You have clothes! A shirt! And, and a hat! You have a hat! Dobby, you have a hat! - Draco couldn’t help himself, grabbing at Dobby, tears streaming down his cheeks. - You have clothes… -

\- Yes, Dobby has got some clothes. Does Draco approve? - 

\- Yes, yes, of course! Oh, Dobby! - Draco sobbed, pulling Dobby closer. - I missed you so much! I missed you! I thought that I lost you! I thought that I lost my best friend… -

\- Dobby would never leave Draco. Never. From the minute Master Draco was put in Dobby’s arms, Dobby swore that he would never leave Draco. -

\- Oh, Dob! -

Draco stayed clutching Dobby close, sobbing his eyes out and later, when he finally calmed down, he stayed cuddled on the couch with Dobby by his side, drinking hot cocoa and simply talking like in the old days.

 

The first week with Grey was filled with a lot of random things blowing up with  Draco’s magic. They spent a lot of time trying to work out the best way to start the therapy that would help Draco the most.

They stopped at art, after the first few tries they found out that Draco was actually really good at it.

So that’s how it went, Draco put everything that was on his mind down on paper through drawings and art.

Grey soon developed to being Alec.

He didn’t urge Draco to tell him his life story, he didn’t urge him to tell him any secrets.

He taught Draco how to pour his pain out into the paper through art, helping Draco learn all the right ways to draw and, later, paint.

Alec was more like a good friend than a therapist. Even though sometimes his professional side came out, like in times when Draco once again got high on potions, leaving Narcissa in tears.

Those couple of times, it ended with Draco being in tears, apologizing to his worried mother, trying his best to get over the need to use potions way too much.

 

Draco spent a lot of time with Dobby, simply hanging out, chatting and doing nothing.

One morning Dobby handed Draco a letter.

\- What is it? - Draco pushed his hair back, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

\- It’s a letter from Harry Potter… - Dobby sat down next to the bed, watching Draco with wary eyes.

Draco pushed his lips into a tight line before opening the letter, anger already rising inside his chest.

 

_ Dear Draco, _

_ I want to apologize. _

_ I have had a lot of time to think about what happened, and believe me when I say that because I have been thinking it over all this time, and I know that I was wrong. _

_ Let me explain. _

_ I was angry and hurt and you always know how to get me on my heels and I just exploded. _

_ As I could say, it was the heat of the moment. _

_ Dobby has explained to me how it was none of your business what your father did and, after calming down, I know that you would never do anything like that. _

_ About what I said, I am so sorry. _

_ I know that you are none of those things, they just slipped out. _

_ You just always seem like this posh child who has never needed to do anything and it is hard to see past that. _

_ I’m sorry. _

_ I really am sorry. _

_ I would like to meet you. _

_ Dobby said that you are in France with your mother. _

_ Remus said that we could go there on holiday and Sirius agreed, so would you like to meet? _

_ I miss you, Draco. _

_ Can’t wait to hear from you. _

_ Harry J. P. _

 

By the end of the letter, Draco exploded, jumping up from his bed and throwing the letter down onto the floor.

\- How dare he!? - Draco felt his magic start to buzz louder.

He was already tired and a bit annoyed by the nightmares that didn’t let him sleep most of the night and now this was getting the best of him, he just couldn’t contain himself.

\- HOW DARE HE!? - Draco screamed, his hands curled into fists.

Right then the door opened, revealing Alec, but Draco’s magic was already exploding, a vase shattered right next to Alec’s head.

\- Draco! - He called out, rushing to get to Draco.

\- How fucking dare he?! That spoiled brat! - Draco gripped his own hair way too strongly, pain shooting through his head. - That damn idiot! Fudgy duckling! -

\- Draco! - Alec grabbed his wrists when Draco start to pull at his hair, magic making the windows tremble.

Draco’s eyes shut at the touch, it was the first time Alec had touched him more than a brush of fingers, it was the first time anyone was actually touching him.

His mind was racing without knowing what reaction to push through.

Draco tried to get his hands back, a startled scream somehow coming out of his mouth, but Alec just held on tighter, locking his eyes with Draco’s wide ones.

\- Calm down. Breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe. - Alec’s calm voice somehow made it through the ringing in Draco’s ears.

Draco opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Alec.

\- Shh, don’t talk. Just breathe. -

Draco tried his best to do so, breathing in and out, his eyes scanning Alec’s in search for something, not knowing what.

After a minute of simply breathing, Alec slowly sat Draco down, still holding him by his wrists, not losing eye contact, kneeling in front of him.

\- Are you ready to tell me what made you lose control? -

Anger start to rise in Draco once again.

\- That prat wrote me. He thinks that a simple apology will make up for everything he said!  A simple apology! And even turning to blame it on me! He was the one who said those things! Him! And now he thinks that everything is fine, simple as that! Now he wants to meet up and damn! How dare he!? How dare he? - by the end, Draco was out of breath, his voice dying down.

\- And how do you feel, apart from being angry? - 

\- I… I… What? - Draco’s eyes were shooting around so fast that it made Alec worry for a second.

But then they stopped, mask dropping. Tears starting to rise in his eyes.

\- I miss him… - Draco murmured, dropping his gaze.

\- Louder, please. -

\- I miss him. I miss him a lot and I want to meet up with him, I want to but he hurt me and I hate getting hurt. I want to hate him and forget him but I miss him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know. - and so tears started to break free.

\- Draco, hey, hey, look up. - Alec let go of one of Draco’s wrists and pushed back the hair on Draco’s forehead, earning a small flinch from Draco. - You don’t want me to touch you? -

Draco shook his head, slowly lying down in bed, all energy draining from his body.

\- Do you want me to leave? -

Draco shook his head again, blowing his nose before looking up at Alec with pleading eyes.

Alec sighed before turning to face Dobby.

\- Will you please make him some tea? He could use a cuppa right now. - Alec smiled sadly at Dobby.

\- Yes, sir, of course. Dobby will make Draco a cuppa tea. - Dobby jumped off the bench he was sitting on and bowed to Draco before rushing out of the room, closing the door tightly shut behind him.

Alec stood up, Draco’s eyes following his every move, and slowly get into bed next to Draco, leaving quite a big space in between them.

Draco let out a long shaky breath before slowly starting to relax.

Alec pulled the blanket over Draco, moving his grip from his wrist down to holding his hand, drawing small circles with his thumb.

Slowly, Draco’s sobs died down, his tears stopping, eyes sliding shut.

Even though they were so far away from each other that another person could fit in between them, for Draco it felt like they were pressed together. Maybe it was that Alec was holding his hand, maybe it was that Draco’s mind was just too tired, he didn’t know, he just let it be.

Draco could feel Alec eyes on him, trailing over his face.

\- Like what you see? - Draco mumbled, his voice hoarse.

\- What’s not to like? - Alec laughed, changing his hand’s angle so their fingers fell together.

Draco opened his eyes, looking down at their entwined hands, his mind tracing back to Harry and their joyful little game moments near the lake, their hands pressed together, playing with each other’s fingers.

\- Will you come with me? -

\- Come where? - 

\- To meet him. I want to meet him. - Draco looked up, meeting Alec’s eyes.

\- Of course. - Alec answered without thinking.

\- Thank you. - Draco closed his eyes, slowly getting lost in the feeling of Alec playing with his fingers.

 

Draco was nervous, his fingers tapping rapidly against the table, eyes scanning the small cafe.

A hand softly pressed down on Draco’s, stopping its movement.

Draco looked up at Alec staring at him.

\- He will come. -

Draco just nodded, trying to start tapping his fingers again, but was stopped by his hand being pulled into Alec’s and Alec starting to play with Draco’s fingers, slowly calming Draco.

A bell on top of the door jingled and there he was, wearing a messy shirt and dark jeans, and oh so annoying sneakers.

Draco almost jumped when their eyes met.

He hadn't seen Harry in two months.

Harry smiled, walking toward him, stopping right in front of them, his eyes trailing over Draco before stopping at his hand, currently being held by Alec, his smile disappearing, brows furrowing.

\- Draco. -

\- Potter. - Draco was surprised how at ease he started to feel.

\- Who’s he? - Harry nodded at Alec, crossing arms over his chest.

\- A friend. -

\- Since when do you do friends? -

\- Since you. Will you keep  being sassy or will you sit down and let me buy you a butterbeer and some sweets you like? -

\- Only because I want some butterbeer. - A grin spread over Harry’s lips, a matching one spreading over Draco’s.

\- Of course. - Draco shook his head before ordering three butterbeers and some sweets for them.

Harry was eyeing Alec without any joy. Alec was looking at him with bored look, his fingers never leaving Draco’s.

It was amusing for Draco to watch for a moment.

\- It’s Alec. - Draco finally broke the silence, bringing both Harry’s and Alec’s attention to himself.

\- Alexander Grey. -

\- Harry Potter. - 

Small nods were followed by tense silence once again.

\- Okay, enough. Will you both keep on battling with your eyes all day or actually acknowledge that I am here? - Draco leaned back in his chair.

\- I just don’t understand what is he doing here. You didn’t mention anyone coming with us. - Harry said before their order was put down on their table.

\- Well, you don’t tell me a lot of things either so we’re even. - Draco took a sip from his drink, a smirk appearing on Alec’s lips but he masked it by taking a sip from his drink.

\- I missed your sassy ass. - Harry smiled, bumping his knee against Draco’s.

\- Oh, I am sure. But now let’s get to the point. - All the fun was wiped off Draco’s face and voice.

\- I hurt you because I was hurt. I was being an idiot. I know it and I regret it. I got to hear quite a lot about it from Sirius, and especially Remus. I want to be friends with you again. These two months felt like ages, sad ages. I miss you no matter how stupid that sounds. - Harry’s full attention was toward Draco, their eyes locked.

\- I would never do that. I tried to stop it. I tried as much as I could. And I paid for it, I paid for my attempts very hard. -

\- I’m sorry, Draco, I am so sorry. -

\- Don’t be, it was my choice. -

\- But it was my stupidy too. So you can’t take the full blame, you can’t, we share that one. -

\- You are so damn stubborn, you know that? -

\- Yeah, kinda have that in common, don’t we? - Harry laughed, lighting the darkness around Draco.

\- I missed you. - Draco murmured, bumping their knees together.

A big smile spread over Harry’s lips, slowly pulling a matching one out of Draco.

They stayed in the cafe for hours, simply chatting and catching up.

Draco listened to how Harry’s summer went, loving the stories of their crazy household.

Draco told Harry about art lessons with Alec, telling him how it was to start drawing and how great a teacher Alec was.

In the end, all three of them were  laughing to the point of tears, enjoying the moment.

In that small evening, Draco felt at ease. For the first time in a long time he was free of all worries and was enjoying himself. That evening, after a long time, Draco went to sleep without wishing to be dead because in that evening, everything was well.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey, you got to the end of this chapter!
> 
> So, how do you like Alec? What do you think of him?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! x


	13. Back to Reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such long wait. life have been real hell, but well, let's survive in spite to everything.

**Back to Reality.**

Draco pecked his mother's cheek before walking to get on the train.

He allowed one last glance at Narcissa before stepping onto the train, searching for some quiet corner.

He stopped in his tracks upon hearing joyful laughter and when he glanced in the compartment, he saw Harry sitting there with his friends and both men who usually come to meet Harry when the school year ends.

A stab of pain shot through his chest at the sight.

Such a happy little family while his own father didn't even look at him, staying in the other wing of the manor just to ignore Draco.

Draco felt it before it actually happened, his breath stopping for a moment, his magic sparking up.

He turned to leave but before he could, his eyes were met with the worried eyes of scared man.

Draco tried to shut his emotions down, quickly walking away and shutting himself into an empty compartment, breathing hard, trying to swallow his magic down.

\-  _ Breathe in. Yes, like that. Now breathe out. Yes, very good. In and out. In and out. Feel the buzz of your magic, pat it and carry it softly back to its room. Slowly and steadily. In and out. Yes, very good. In and out. Feel the weight lift, enjoy it and relax. Just like that. Good, Draco, good. -  _

Draco could almost feel Alec’s presence next to him, he could almost breathe in his scent, his unique scent calming Draco down.

Draco opened his eyes just in time to see the same man he saw before slowly slide open his compartment door and step inside.

\- May I? - he smiled politely before sitting down.

Draco stayed silent, watching the man before him.

\- I’m Remus Lupin, your new defence against the dark arts teacher. - He held out his hand for Draco to shake.

\- Draco Malfoy. - Draco was glad that his voice was steady and that his hand had stopped shaking when he shook Lupin’s hand.

\- I know. - Lupin smiled. - Harry has told me a lot about you, hardly ever shuts up. -

\- Really? - Draco couldn’t stop the surprise filling in his voice.

\- Yes, we hardly ever get one letter where you aren’t at least mentioned once. - Lupin chuckle.

Draco was so taken aback that he simply stayed silent, watching the man before him, wondering about Harry telling his parents about Draco.

Did he talk to his friends about Draco too?

\- Here, take this. When in doubt, eat chocolate. - Lupin voice shook Draco back to reality.

Draco looked down to see a simple chocolate bar held out for him.

\- Harry shared these with me. They are muggle ones. - Draco folded out the chocolate, taking a bite and closing his eyes.

He, having a sweet tooth, had missed sweets so he couldn’t stop a small moan escaping his lips.

He slapped a hand over his mouth in realization, ready to be scolded for his bad behavior but Lupin only laughed.

\- They are really good. Don’t be ashamed of showing your emotions. -

\- Thank you. - Draco took another bite of the chocolate bar.

\- So, what bothered you back there? -

\- Nothing. - Draco lied without even thinking about it.

\- Was it Harry? You know, he really enjoyed being your friend and he would love to have you sit with us but he is also worried about you, about how you would feel spending so much time with his other friends. He doesn't want to force you into anything. And I know how hard it can be to share your friend, especially if he feels like everything to you. I know it, I have been there. - Lupin smiled kindly at Draco.

\- I just… - Draco huffed out a breath, shaking his head. - I don’t want him to need to choose between me and his friends. I just, I… Well, it just feels like no matter what, they will always be first place for him. Them and not me. - 

\- I have been there, all the time. Sometimes even now there are moments when I feel like I don’t really matter to Sirius, that he will always place Harry and his motorbike before me. But you know, these dark times, they pass. They always do. Because no matter how long it takes, there will always be light after dark. Remember that, okay? - Lupin looked deep in Draco’s eyes for a moment.

Draco didn’t know what to say, so he just sat there, looking Lupin in the eyes till the weight seemed to lift from his shoulders and he could breathe freely.

\- Do you want me to stay or would you like me to go and fetch Harry for you? - the kind smile was back.

\- Stay, please, if you don’t mind. - Draco put the last piece of his chocolate in his mouth.

Lupin just smiled, fetching some more chocolates from his pockets, holding them out to Draco.

\- Wow, there are so many of them? How many kinds do muggles make? - Draco asked with fascination, examining the chocolates held out in front of him.

The compartment was filled with warm laughter from Lupin before he started explaining muggle chocolates to Draco.

 

They end up talking all the way to Hogwarts, only when the train was slowing down did Lupin finally stand up and leave to get his stuff, giving Draco some more chocolates, promising to get him some other kinds too.

Draco didn’t mind the silent drive up to the castle, he felt light, finally agreeing with Alec that talking can help.

All the way to the feast, Draco was deep in thought about Alec, already missing him more than he should, so he didn’t noticed how he had sat down at their house table and how Harry was trying to wave and smile at him. All he saw was a glimpse of a deep scowl from Harry before he went out of the great hall together with other Gryfindors.

\- What’s up with him? - Blase stopped next to Draco, waiting their turn to get out of the great hall.

\- How could I know? - Draco just shrugged, already feeling way too exhausted and wanting to sink into a deep sleep.

\- Are you okay? - Blase tried to catch Draco’s eyes.

\- Just tired. -

And just like that, their conversation ended, Draco’s mind getting way too cloudy for him to be able to actually engage in conversation.

 

The first couple of days were fully exhausting so by thursday, Draco was already on edge. He was snapping at everyone who came close, his sass level on peak.

It was their first Defence Against The Dark Arts lesson with Lupin and Draco wanted to enjoy it but the arithmancy lesson before had driven Draco crazy, his magic was zumming like an angry wasp and his mind was starting to cloud with dark, angry clouds making his head ache.

So when Lupin explained the lesson, Draco simply felt annoyed.

\- This class is ridiculous. - He snapped at Crabbe and Goyle standing next to him.

And with every person taking their turn, his annoyance just started to grow and his magic zummed even angrier.

He fell back on purpose, not wanting to do the thing. He had no desire to show his fear to the rest of the class.

What would happen, what would he see?

Himself being under the cruciatus curse for way too long?

Harry and Alec and Dobby and his mother leaving him, abandoning him like he deserves?

Lucius trying to kill him again and saying what a shit son he is?

Draco had no desire to find out.

So when the bell rang just when it would be his turn, he turned around to leave without another glance back, but he was stopped before he could reach the door by the soft call of his last name by Lupin himself.

Draco huffed out a breath and turned back, stalking back to the front of the class where Lupin was waiting.

When the door closed, leaving them alone, Lupin didn’t say anything, he simply nodded for Draco to sit down before he pulled out some chocolate from his pocket, giving it to Draco.

Only when Draco have aten half of the chocolate already did Lupin finally speak.

\- What is upsetting you? - 

Draco let out a dry laugh, he really liked how forward Lupin was.

\- I am not even sure, I guess, all this is still just a bit too much for my mind. - Draco sighed before stuffing more chocolate in his mouth.

\- After the long sickness, Harry mentioned it, yes. Do you want to talk about it? -

\- No, I already have a therapist to talk to. I simply haven’t got time to owl him yet. -

\- You have a therapist? - Lupin tilted his head a bit to one side, searching Draco’s face.

\- You have a problem with that? - Draco snapped back, sitting up a bit straighter just to feel the annoying ache spread through his back bone.

\- Of course not. It’s good that you have someone to talk to. -

Draco let his body relax back in the chair, he was starting to feel sleepy again.

\- About today’s lesson. You didn’t find it good enough, more like foolish, did you? Why didn’t you want to have a go? - Lupin leaned back in his own chair facing Draco.

\- I have no desire to see what will come out of that closet. - Draco said in a bored voice, his body starting to feel heavy yet again.

\- It can help to know and understand your fear, Draco. -

\- I am too tired for that, okay? No one would understand what will come out of that closet, no one. And I don’t need their pity. I’m a Slytherin. - Draco pushed himself up from the chair with a bit of difficulty.

\- I understand that. But if you want to, you can come to me and do it while we are alone, just for you and not for others to see. I won’t hold you back too much more, I see that you are really tired. Here, take some more chocolate. - Lupin put yet another different kind of chocolate bar in Draco’s hand before smiling warmly at him.

Draco just nodded before walking away, he needed to get to his bed, to put up a silencing charm before he was about to pass out. 

He felt just so damn tired and heavy.

He needed sleep, and he really needed to talk to Alec about all this.

 

On Friday Harry was able to finally catch Draco by himself. Draco was taking a walk back to school, falling behind, trying to clear his head a bit.

Harry ran up to Draco from behind, wrapping his hands over Draco’s eyes, but before he could laugh out a “guess who’s there”, Draco had let out frightened half scream, trying to pry Harry’s hands off, and then a shot of pain was making Harry fall backwards down to the ground.

Draco had turned around, shaking madly, his magic was zumming like static, his mind was going way too fast for him to understand anything.

He couldn’t breathe, his body was starting to ache, his muscles already pulling tightly.

\- Draco… What the…? Draco! - 

He felt his body falling but he couldn’t stop it, his heart was beating way too fast and way too strong, it was gonna break out of his chest.

Was that blood or his magic zumming so loudly inside him? Or was that outside?

And where were the light going? Who was turning off the blue of the sky?

He didn’t even feel his body hitting the ground, he didn’t even hear what was going around him.

He couldn’t breathe and his heart was trying to leave him.

And the dark, the ah so knowing dark, was back, piercing its claws around Draco, chewing him like a piece of gum.

He was just way too tired to go through this all over again, so all he did was close his eyes and let it all wash over him.

 

\- I don’t know! I didn’t mean it! I just put my hands over his eyes and was about to ask him to guess who’s there when he started to panic and then he kinda like hexed me without even touching his wand and then he just fell! I didn’t mean for him to panic! How could I know that?! - someone was panicking somewhere near Draco.

\- Harry, calm down! Right now! - said a stricken voice.

\- I didn’t mean to hurt him… - this Harry mumbled before falling silent.

\- I know. - the stricken voice said, now gently.

Draco groaned.

Why couldn’t they all shut up and let him sleep?

Draco let out a loud groan, trying to roll to the side, his eyes slid slowly open, revealing Harry and Lupin standing next to his bed, Lupin's arm thrown over Harry's shoulder in a fatherly manier.

-Oh, Draco! - Harry made to touch Draco but Lupin stopped him, noticing Draco's flinch even before it actually come.

\- Easy. I'll go get Madam Pomfrey. - Lupin nodded before walking away, leaving Harry standing a bit confused.

\- Don't look so dumbstruck. At least sit down. - Draco yawned, finally curling on his side, starting to feel comfy enough.

\- I'm sorry for what happened. - Harry sat down.

\- It's okay. Did I hurt you? I didn't mean it. - Draco huffed out a long breath.

\- What the hell actually did happen? Why did it happen? - Harry searched Draco's eyes.

\- I guess it's time to tell you. - Draco sighed. - So you know I was sick. I barely made it out alive. It left its marks. I get overwhelmed really easily. I had problems controlling my magic so I was seeing a therapist. Alec. I'm already a lot better thanks to him. This week has just been a bit too much and you scared me, kinda setting my mind in overdrive, i guess. Something like that. - 

\- But, are you alright now? - Harry asked, worried, stretching out his hand for Draco but not exactly touching him.

\- Kinda, at least as good as I can be. I'm just tired, that's all. - Draco let their fingers brush against each other, enjoying the warmth spreading through him.

Madam Pomfrey and Lupin came.

-I would like to keep you here tonight. And you need to drink these too. - She was fussing around Draco, checking everything.

\- What are they? - Draco eyed the potions suspiciously.

\- Muscle relaxant draught, some vitamins, and dreamless sleep potion. You should drink them and rest. - She looked pointedly at Harry before walking away.

Draco ground again, already feeling the sweet taste of relief that the sleeping potion would bring. He needed to battle himself not to eagerly snatch at the potion and down it in one gulp.

\- Draco… - Harry started but Draco cut him off, still watching the small vial with the potion.

\- You know, I actually can’t drink it. Alec would be so mad. - And with that, he drank the potion in a couple of glups, putting the vials back down and trying to relax against the pillows but Alec’s disappointed face kept popping up in his mind so he turned his gaze to watch Harry. - You don’t need to sit here like I’m dying. I’m not. I’m perfectly okay. Just need to rest. -

\- We really should talk. - 

\- Ah, you’re starting to sound like Alec. - Draco groaned, feeling the potions already kicking in.

\- What does this have to do with that Alec guy? - Harry crossed his arms over his chest, sounding annoyed.

\- You just sounded like him. He is just like that. “We need to talk it all out. Express our emotions. “ blah blah blah. - Draco rolled his eyes. - I actually should write to him. -

\- Why? - Now Harry for sure was annoyed.

\- Because I need to. What are you so annoyed for, Potter? - 

\- Ah, and now I’m back to being Potter while he is  _ Alec _ . - Harry spat the last word with such venom, standing up, his green eyes on fire.

\- You sure that you didn’t hit your head on the way here? You’ve started babbling nonsense. - Draco felt his eyelids already start to drop.

\- You are such a git. I’ll see you tomorrow. - Harry just rolled his eyes before walking away, leaving Draco to his sweet sleep.

 

It was a warm saturday so Draco was sitting outside in the grounds near the lake, his back pressed against the tree, parchment and ink bottle in his lap, beautiful feather in his hand, his head tilted back, catching the shaded sun breaking through the coloring leaves of the big tree.

A couple more deep calming breaths before he finally started writing the letter he so needed to send.

_ Dear Alec, _

_ First of all, I miss you. _

_ Yes, sappy as it is, I do and I admit it. Stop laughing at me! Yes, I can still see you chuckling about it! _

_ How are you? How is France? _

_ Okay, I know that I simply need to talk about why I am actually writing this now. _

_ Just before I start, note that I am okay right now. _

_ Okay, so, Hogwarts so far has been… Well, exhausting. Lessons and all the pressure has been a bit too much right after summer and I guess that it all just got a bit too much for me, my mind and body. _

_ Harry didn’t mean to do it, he just wanted to finally come and hang out with me but well, I guess that my senses are still on high alert. _

_ He rua up to be from behind, putting his hands over my eyes and everything just snapped. _

_ I don’t remember much but as I understand, my magic broke out and kinda like hexed him while my body went back to hell. _

_ I had another attack, I guess, ended up in the hospital wing for the night but now I feel alright, I’m calm and actually enjoying some sun outside in the grounds by the lake. _

_ ( Not sun like in France but the autumn one that shines through the tree leaves. Don’t want to burn peach pink. ) _

_ ( I told you to stop laughing! ) _

_ There is one more thing that I need to tell you that you won’t like. _

_ I drank the dreamless sleep potion. _

_ In the hospital wing they gave it to me along with muscle relaxant and some vitamins. _

_ I am still here and with all my senses, don’t worry, I didn’t go looking for more. _

_ Well, look on the bright side, at least I got one decent sleep and they didn’t hear my nightmares. _

_ ( Do not roll your eyes at me! ) _

_ I really do miss you, I miss having you close by and I miss you being there to calm me down after another row of nightmares and helping me to fall back to sleep. _

_ Alec, I need you no matter how much I hate saying it, I do need you. _

_ Have you maybe had any news from Dobby? I miss him. Maybe there is some way you could at least check how he is doing? Thank you. _

_ I hope that you will have time to write back soon and I hope that you don’t mind that I have written to you since I am not sure if you still count as my Therapist or not. _

_ With all the best wishes, _

_ Draco L. Malfoy. _

 

Draco finished the letter feeling his chest heavy, his eyes stinging.

He took couple of shaky breaths before pushing himself up from the ground and making his way to the owlery to send the letter to Alec.

Draco was thinking back to the relaxing evening he had with Alec and Dobby back in France, all of them lying down on the big balcony, warm wind sweeping over them, messing up their hair and clothes.

Flowery scents filled the air, Alec and Dobby were laughing, happy tears shining in their eyes and Draco felt light and as close to happy as he could in that moment.

The sun was setting and the sky had been painted in all shades of red, yellow, orange and pink, making them all seem like they were glowing, their eyes shining even brighter.

Draco was lost in the soft laughter filling the air, it was such a good evening.

Narcissa was close too, cooking some snacks for them in the kitchen behind the open french doors, she was smiling too, and humming softly with the music playing from the radio.

Draco looked at each of them in turn, trying to memorize every detail about that evening, about them being so careless and happy, he was trying to save the memory in his head, in his soul.

That was a happy moment, he was with his friends, with his family, and he was safe.

Draco just looked away from the drowning sun and met Alec’s shining eyes, a soft warm hand took his and Draco couldn’t help his heart skip a beat but then he blinked and the soft eyes turned into green ones and one more blink away Draco was back on Hogwarts grounds without music playing, without Alec or Dobby next to him. 

Instead Harry was standing in front of him, holding his hand softly into his, not tight enough to grip, just softly holding his pale fingers into his tanned ones.

\- Hi… - Draco breathed out, getting lost in the green eyes for a moment before shaking himself back in reality.

\- Hi. I brought you some chocolate. Do you want to walk a bit or would you prefer to sit down? - Harry sounded a bit worried but he still smiled.

\- We can walk back down to our tree and then sit down. I’m a bit tired after getting up and down from the owlery. - Draco started to walk down to the lake, letting his fingers rest into Harry’s hand.

\- Did you need to send a letter? You could have asked me to send it. I wouldn’t have minded. - Harry fell into  step next to Draco.

\- Well, yesterday you didn’t seem too keen on hearing anything about Alec and this one was for him. - Draco glanced over at Harry to see him furrow his brows. - Why do you dislike him so much? -

\- I don’t Let’s talk about something else. How did you like Lupin’s lessons? - Harry seemed keen on changing the topic as to avoid the argument.

Draco just shook his head before grabbing Harry’s fingers a bit tighter and loving the charming smile that blooms on Harry’s lips because of it.

 

The next week was a lot easier, Draco fell back into his studying routine so his mind wasn’t so exhausted.

The letter come at sunday breakfast, there was not just a letter but a small package too.

Blaise sitting next to Draco looked curiously at the big package falling into Draco’s lap and when Draco glanced over at the Gryffindor table, he saw that Harry was watching him too.

Draco just shook his head, pushing away his half eaten breakfast and standing up with Alec’s letter and package clutched in his hands, making his way to the dungeons.

Draco sat down on his bed, tearing open the letter, finding it a lot shorter than he had been waiting for it to be.

 

_ Dear Draco, _

_ What the fuck does he think he is doing?! I hope that you did hex him good and straight! I could punch him right now for hurting you again! _

_ And yes, you can write to me whenever you please even when I am not being paid by your parents anymore, I am still your friend. _

_ When can you go to Hogsmeade? I will meet you there. _

_ I wish that I could meet you a lot sooner, believe me when I say that I needed to hold myself back not to go to you right at this moment, not caring that it is night and that they wouldn’t let me into Hogwarts. _

_ About Dobby, the last I heard he was traveling a bit, he asked me to send this small gift for you. _

_ France is the same, boring without you. _

_ I miss you a lot, Draco, and I wish that I could be with you. _

_ I put a small gift for you in the package. _

_ Please write to me whenever you can and I’ll see you soon. _

_ Love, _

_ Alexander Grey. _

 

Draco ripped open the package with shaking fingers.

On the top there was some weird looking toy from Dobby, Draco put it on his bedside table, missing the house elf even more.

Then he dug deeper into the small box.

On top were art supplies, and small box with some sweets from France, but at the very bottom there was something soft and woolly-looking.

Draco carefully took everything out, laying everything on his bed next to him before taking the last thing out and letting out a shaky breath, his heart beating extra hard against his ribcage.

There in his hands lay a worn out black jumper, way too big for Draco but still so soft and warm.

Draco pressed his face into it, breathing in the  familiar scent of Alec, calming down right away.

Without even thinking, Draco pulled it on, feeling like Alec’s arms were wrapped around him, locking him into a safe hug, making him all warm and calm.

Draco let his eyes close and Alec’s scent take over his senses, without even noticing he drifted to sleep and for the first time in days, it wasn’t filled with nightmares but with joyful times spent together with Alec and Dobby, mostly Alec.

 

The next few weeks went by quite fast but Draco thought that it was just because he was buried in studies and was enjoying the classes, especially Potions and Lupin’s class.

Also that he was spending some time with Harry and Lupin had asked him to come for tea at least once a week, giving him some fresh muggle chocolates.

And of course, because Draco couldn’t wait to meet Alec, he missed hearing his voice and his sassy jokes, he simply missed him.

So when friday evening finally came, he couldn’t wait to go to sleep and wake up the next morning.

\- Draco, will you go to  hogsmeade? - Harry asked him, stopping next to Draco near the library.

\- Yeah, of course I will go. Won’t you? - Draco pushed the last book back in his bag before looking up at Harry.

\- Of course I will. I want to ask, maybe, if you would want to come with me? - Harry pushed his hands in his pockets, looking at Draco nervously.

\- Aren’t you going with your gryffindor friends? - Draco furrowed his brows.

\- Well, yeah, but I would like you to come with us too… -

\- Aha, they would be thrilled to have me. No, thank you. - Draco pulled his bag over his shoulder, ready to go down to the dorms, after all, curfew would start in a bit.

\- It wouldn’t be so bad. They are not so bad. - Harry said defensively.

\- To you, idiot. Not to me. Anyway, I am meeting Alec. -

\- What? Why? - Draco could hear annoyance in Harry’s tone so he cocked one of his eyebrows up.

\- Because we are friends. -

Harry just huffed out an angry breath.

\- You are busy anyway! - Draco threw his arms up. - What do you want, for me to sit and wait like a patient puppy? - 

Draco couldn’t help but snap and to his surprise, a big smile spread over Harry’s lips.

\- What are you laughing at? - now it was Draco’s turn to start get annoyed.

\- I missed you being sassy. - Harry just laughed. - Anyway, maybe join us after? Remus will be meeting Sirius and then they will come to three broomsticks to meet me, so you could come too, Remus would like to have you too. -

\- Sirius? - Draco felt puzzled.

\- Yeah, Sirius Black. My godfather. I grew up living with him and Remus. You have probably seen him at least a couple times, he came with me to Kings Cross. - 

\- Wait! You want me to meet your guardians? - Now Draco was at a real loss. - Why? -

\- I prefer the word Parents but yeah, and well, because you are my friend. A good one. So why not? - Harry just shrugged without knowing how fast Draco’s heart had started to beat.

\- I… I am not sure… - Draco wanted to sit down, or even better, lie down.

\- Okay, just think about it, okay? We will meet around three. If you want to, then just come. - Harry smiled before brushing his fingers against Draco’s pale ones. - I need to go now or Hermione will bite my head off for not doing the divination homework. -

And just like that Harry sped off in a different direction, leaving Draco feeling fully confused.

He slowly went down to their dorms and without even saying anything simply got into bed, pulling his curtains shut and casting a simple silencing charm. He slowly changed into his silk pj’s, sliding under his blanket.

Draco’s mind was still buzzing when he pulled the simple black worn out jumper out from under his pillow and hugged it close to his chest, breathing in the calming but slowly fading scent of Alec.

He didn’t notice when he fell asleep, he didn’t feel like he had slept at all when he finally woke up around five in the morning.

Draco lay for a moment in his bed, simply for lying under warm blankets, before getting out into the chilly dorm air.

Without any rush he took a hot steaming shower, taking a bit longer just for the feel of hot water washing over his skin.

When he stepped out next to a mirror he saw that his hair had grown longer already, he brushed his fingers through them, not feeling up for styling them any way today.

So he just let them dry naturally while going down to the great hall to catch an early breakfast.

He quite enjoyed the silent hall, slowly sipping his morning tea and even managing to eat a bit of cooked egg with a half of a toast.

Draco still needed to work on his eating skills but knowing Alec, he would make sure to feed Draco full by the end of his visit.

Draco was one of the first ones to walk out of the castle and start his way down to hogsmeade.

The weather was pleasantly warm so he enjoyed that he didn’t need to put a jacket or hat on.

He saw Alec waiting for him patiently by the very start of hogsmeade.

He was dressed in all black, black jeans that were hugging his legs perfectly, combined with a leather jacket and sunglasses thrown over his eyes.

When he noticed Draco he pulled his hands out of his pockets and rushed to meet Draco, gripping his hands in his own warm ones, trying to control himself not to pull Draco into a bone crushing hug but instead pressing Draco’s cupped hands against his chest and leaning down to Draco as close as he could without actually touching him, his breath tickling Draco’s cheek.

\- Hi. -

\- Hey. -

They breathed out at the same time, Alec let out a cheery laugh.

\- I missed you so much. And gosh, it is so much wetter here in England! And where is your jacket? Draco! - Alec let go of Draco’s hands and pulled off his own leather jacket, softly and carefully enough not to touch Draco too much, put it on Draco. - Here, now that’s better. -

Even while Alec was left in just a tight black t-shirt, Draco couldn’t complain much, he loved the feeling of wearing Alec’s jacket.

\- Thank you, I wasn’t even cold but you will be after a couple minutes. - Draco gripped Alec’s hand back in his, starting to play with his fingers almost right away, bringing a big smile over Alec’s lips.

\- It doesn’t matter, at least you won’t be cold. - Alec let his nose brush against Draco’s temple, making a soft shiver run down Draco’s spine.

\- I missed you. - Draco mumbled, pressing a bit closer to Alec, their bodies almost touching, breathing in his scent, letting his cold nose brush against Alec’s collarbone.

Now it was Alec’s turn to shiver, gripping Draco’s fingers a bit tighter.

They stayed standing like that for a couple minutes before Alec finally stepped back, still not letting go of Draco’s hand.

\- Let’s walk around a bit. Do you need anything from any shop? - 

\- Yeah, couple things for studies but nothing much. Also, I would like to buy some sweets. - Draco started to walk in sync with Alec.

\- More sweets? You already ate all of the ones I sent you last week? -

\- Kinda. -

\- You and your fucking sweet tooth. - Alec shook his head, musical laughter filling the air.

\- Oh, shut up, will you? You love good sweets just as much as I do. - Draco let his shoulder brush against Alec’s, pulling him into the first of the shops.

They ended up going to almost every shop in the street, Alec buying everything that Draco needed.

\- Let’s go to eat something, I’m hungry and you probably are too. Did you eat any breakfast? - Alec still was holding Draco’s hand in his.

\- I did manage to eat half of a toast and almost all of a cooked egg. Plus tea of course. - 

\- You need to try and eat more. That will help your mind stay clean too. - 

\- I know, I know. I try my best to eat, okay? - 

\- Don’t get grumpy. - Alec pulled Draco a bit closer, opening the three broomsticks doors for him.

Draco let Alec order for them both but when he tried to pay, Alec just softly swished his hands away, paying himself, carrying everything to the table in the corner.

\- I could have paid at least for this. - Draco sat down, taking a sip from his butterbeer.

\- I know, but I am paying today, so just enjoy. - Alec took off his sunglasses, taking a sip of his butterbeer before pushing a plate with their food closer to Draco.

Draco just rolled his eyes before starting to nibble on their food but Alec started a conversation, making Draco forget that he was eating at all, so only when Alec was starting to grin like mad did he notice that he had eaten everything on the plate.

\- Ah, I knew this would happen. You always knew how to work your magic around me so I would forget about everything. - Draco leaned back in his chair, stretching a bit.

Alec just laughed, finishing his butterbeer before stretching himself, Draco’s eyes following his hands’ movement.

Alec smiled softly before stretching his hand out for Draco to take in his.

Draco started to play with his fingers.

\- Why did you paint your nails? I thought that it was just for girls to do? - Draco looked up at Alec but couldn’t read his expression.

\- Nah, not just for girls. It’s just that they are usually the ones painting their nails but it hasn't been forbidden for guys to paint their nails too and I like to paint mine. Also, this colour reminded me of you. - Alec looked foundly down at Draco.

\- Oh, so, I could paint my nails too? - Draco asked with sudden interest, sitting up a bit straighter.

\- Of course, only if you want to, but yes. - Alec smiled again, pulling Draco’s other hand in his, intertwining their fingers together.

\- You will need to paint mine when I get back to France. - Draco said with a sudden idea bursting in his mind.

\- You are coming back to France? - Alec sat up straighter too, leaning closer to Draco, his eyes shining.

\- Yeah, I thought that I could spend this summer there too. I really liked spending the whole summer with you. -

\- Well, at first it couldn’t be seen. - Alec joked.

\- Oh, shut up. - Draco softly pushed Alec’s face away, making him laugh.

\- You wish. - Alec just laughed, softly brushing back Draco’s hair. - It’s grown out again. -

\- Yeah, I haven’t thought much about cutting it since last time. - Draco shook his head, remembering how he had let Alec cut his hair a couple days before he needed to come back.

\- Oh my, that ended up being such a mess. - Alec started to laugh, throwing his head back a bit.

\- But still, it was fun. I will think about what to do with my hair. - 

\- I like it like this, then you don’t look so cold. - Alec let his fingers brush against Draco’s hair one more time.

\- Well, Thank you. - Draco put all the sass he could into the simple phrase, making Alec break out laughing again and earning Draco punch him softly in the shoulder that end up making Alec laugh even more.

Draco let the joy spread through his body, shaking his head fondly.

They talked for hours more, Alec laughing a lot, filling Draco with joy and making him feel light.

In yet another laughing fit and Draco trying to push Alec’s face away, Lupin approached them.

\- Good evening, boys. I am sorry to interrupt but Draco, it is time to come back up to the castle. Gates will close in half an hour. - Lupin smiled fondly down at Draco.

Alec had stopped laughing, gripping Draco’s hand in his and putting it back down on the table.

\- It is so late already? - Draco turned around to look out the window to see everything being dark outside already. - I didn’t even noticed. Sweet Salazar! - 

Draco jumped up in sudden panic but Lupin just smiled at him.

\- Don’t worry so much, we can go up together so you are not in any trouble. I’ll wait outside. - with a polite nod to Alec he walked outside.

\- I’m sorry. I should have checked the time. - Alec had stood up too, grabbing Draco’s hand to calm him down.

\- I am such a fool. - Draco murmured, trying to take off Alec’s jacket but Alec just shook his head.

\- Leave it on, it will probably be cold outside. - all the fun and laughter had left Alec, making him look simply dark.

\- But you’ll be cold! - 

\- Nah, don’t worry. - Alec led Draco outside and he was right about the cold, it had gotten pretty chilly outside, cold wind swishing Draco’s hair in his eyes.

Alec softly pushed it back, leaning in close.

\- Write to me, please. Whenever you can. I will visit you in your next trip to hogsmeade. - Alec whispered in Draco’s ear, letting his lips faintly brush against it before nudging Draco’s temple softly with his nose, breathing in his scent.

Draco let his hands rest against Alec’s chest for a moment, enjoying the feel of Alec’s heart beating against his pale hands. He let his nose brush against Alec’s collarbone, breathing in his scent one last time before letting go.

Alec just smiled at him, squeezing his fingers one last time before letting go, watching Draco go back to the castle with Lupin.

Draco glanced back several times, trying to spot Alec just one more time but it was too dark outside to see far away.

Only when they were already almost back did Lupin speak.

\- It looked like you had a great time. - 

\- Yeah, Alec is really great. - Draco pushed his hands deeper into Alec’s jackets pockets. - He will freeze his ass off. - 

Lupin laughed, shaking his head.

\- Sorry. - Draco mumbled, feeling a bit ashamed.

\- No need. Harry said that he had asked you to join him. -

\- Oh, yeah. But well, I didn’t want to interrupt your day. Harry said that his godfather would come too. -

\- Yeah, Sirius did come. But anyway, Harry was kinda sad seeing you being with Alec and ignoring him completely. -

\- I didn’t ignore him! - Draco stopped suddenly, looking up at Lupin.

But to be honest, he had fully forgotten about Harry’s invitation while being with Alec.

\- It’s okay, I’m just saying that he was a bit upset. - Lupin shrugged.

Draco didn’t answer, he thought that he would be upset too if he were in Harry’s place.

They didn’t talk anymore getting back to  the castle.

\- Good night, Draco. - Lupin smiled at Draco before starting to climb the stairs.

\- Good night. - Draco mumbled, walking down to the dungeon, feeling like he could sleep for a week.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you like it? What do you think of Harry and Alec? What about Lupin becoming friend of Draco? What do you think will happen next? What would you like to happen next? tell me everything!  
> thank you so so much for reading!  
> I have already start new chapter and I hope that this time I will be able to finish it a lot earlier.


	14. Christmas and other boring stuff.

**Christmas and other boring stuff.**

 

Draco met Alec once more on his trip to Hogsmade and this time they made sure to check the time.

Draco really enjoyed spending time with Alec, for just one day he could forget everything and just be.

The rest of the school year until break went well, Draco made sure to spend more time practising his drawing to help himself settle down, he also started to spend a bit more time studying.

Now one corner of the Slytherin common room was marked as his, no one dared to go sit in his favorite spot because if they did and Draco happened to be in a bad mood, nothing too beautiful came out of it.

It was a couple evenings before they would all go home for christmas when Draco finally accepted Lupin’s invitation to have dinner with him and Harry.

When Draco was walking down the corridor in the evening, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was intruding on a family thing, a family dinner, even when both Harry and Lupin had assured him that he was not and that they would love to have him dine with them.

When Draco knocked on the doors, they swung open on their own, Lupin was standing near his desk, putting down some papers, and when he noticed Draco, a gentle smile spread over his lips.

He looked really tired but a lot better than in their lesson the day before.

\- Good evening, sir. - Draco walked in, feeling a bit unsure of what to do.

He had been to hundreds of guest dinners and yet he had no idea how to act now because somehow this was so all different from the  pureblood dinner parties he had attended all his life.

\- Hello, Draco. You are just on time. - Lupin led Draco deeper into his chambers where the rich table was already being laid out and Harry was sprawled on the bed in one corner, reading a colorful magazine.

\- Draco! You came! - He jumped up, putting down his magazine and walking over to Draco. His eyes were shining and Draco could sense that he wanted to hug Draco, but they had talked about it, Draco still wasn’t ready to allow anyone touching him more than just his hand, so instead Draco just pushed Harry’s hair back out of his eyes, letting his fingers linger a second longer there.

\- Potter, do something with your wild mane of hair. - 

Harry just started laughing, taking Draco’s hand in his and leading him to the table.

When they had all sat down, Draco noticed the food that was sitting in front of him, something that he didn’t recognise and was sure he hadn't eaten before.

Lupin, noticing Draco’s look, chuckled.

\- Don’t worry, it’s still edible, just not so fancy but still as tasty. - 

Draco looked up in surprise.

\- I didn’t… I… - He stumbled over his words, shame already making its way up.

\- Calm down. - Harry smiled, taking his hand over the table.

Draco settled on looking into Harry’s eyes, calming down almost instantly.

The food was indeed really tasty so by the end of dinner Draco felt full and a bit sleepy.

They had talked a lot too and Draco noted to himself once more how easy it was to talk with Remus.

Harry showed him his colourful magazine, telling him that it was a comic about a duck named Donald and his friends and family.

They ended up spending at least one more hour reading the comic together while Remus finished marking some essays.

\- Boys, it’s just a couple minutes till curfew, we wouldn’t want Mr. Filch to give you detention right before break. - Remus said with a smile on his lips, watching them both with a fatherly look that made a pang of pain rush through Draco’s chest.

\- Oh, okay. I can give you a couple comics so you have some to read over the holidays if you want. - Harry stood up, holding out his hand for Draco to grab and helping him stand up, Draco’s legs feeling way too tired.

\- Um, I don’t think that it would be a good idea… -

\- Harry, stop trying to push all your interests on Draco. He probably has a lot to do over the holidays already. - Even when Remus seemed to talk strictly to Harry, his tone was still gentle and a smile was spread over his lips, making his eyes shine.

\- I know, I know. - Harry smiled before going over to Remus and hugging him.

Remus hugged Harry close, pressing a soft kiss on the top of his head.

Draco looked away, a shot of pain gripped his chest once again.

It was just too soft for him to watch.

He tried to think  of the last time Lucius had hugged Draco or given him a sweet kiss but nothing come up, it had been so long ago that it was hard to recall any memories at all.

He never got a warm hug and tender kiss, instead he got a hit and strict words.

Draco didn’t even notice how he got down to the dorms and into his bed that night, he felt too sad to think and yet he couldn’t stop his mind rushing.

He ended up crying himself to sleep, waking up just hours later with a hushed scream on his lips from a cold nightmare that shook his body awake.

 

Draco was tired when he finally found a seat on the train. He hasn't slept for the past two days, nightmares keeping him awake and his body exhausted.

So when the train finally started moving, Draco closed his eyes for a bit, pressing his forehead against the cold window, letting the cold seep into his skin, chill his brain.

\- Draco. - 

Draco shot upright without even understanding what his body was doing, his heart seemed to try and jump out of his chest and out of the window, his muscles were starting to tremble from such a jump and his mind was foggy but racing around, running into walls on every blind turn.

\- Oh, Shit! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you! - 

Draco tried to focus his gaze on the voice speaking but nothing worked.

And then something warm pressed against his hand, something gentle.

Draco blinked and looked down at it, then up into green eyes.

Harry was standing in front of him, holding his hand.

\- Okay? -

Draco simply nodded before sitting back down, forcing his body to calm down.

\- I didn’t want to scare you, just came to say goodbye before we arrive at kings cross, we are almost there. - Harry sat down too.

\- Oh, are we? - Draco looked out of the window, a bit confused.

\- Yeah, you fell asleep, I came by a bit after we left Hogsmeade station but you were sleeping and since you looked really tired, I didn’t want to wake you. - Harry smiled kindly at Draco.

\- Oh, I didn’t notice falling asleep… - Draco rubbed his eyes with a fist, a yawn escaping him.

\- It’s okay, you really did look tired these past two days. - The train was already starting to slow down. - Anyway, I hope that you will have a pleasant holiday and here, an early christmas gift from me. - Harry smiled before standing up.

\- Oh, I… I don’t have anything for you yet… - Draco felt a bit weird accepting the christmas gift.

\- It’s okay, I really should go but see you after the holidays. - Harry gave Draco one more smile before rushing away.

Draco sat there doing nothing for a moment, he really didn’t want to stand up and get off the train.

He wasn’t sure who would come to get him this time and if he was even welcome home.

Sighing once more, he stood up and got out, dragging his trunk.

Ignoring all the other happy family reunions, he dragged himself to the far corner where they usually picked him up and dropped him off.

\- Why such a long face? Aren’t you happy to see your mother? - A familiar, kind voice broke Draco’s train of thoughts, making him look up and see his mother standing there in winter robes, smiling warmly at him.

\- I just didn’t know that you would come to pick me up… - Draco hesitated for a moment, not really knowing if he could go into a hug right where they were but seeing his mother smile at him melted all that away; he gripped Narcissa’s hand in his, squeezing as hugging, not really sure if he could go through real hug.

\- Let’s go home. - Narcissa smiled, leading Draco to the apparition point.

In just a couple of minutes they were home, Draco breathing in the familiar scent of the manor, imagining it sigh due to having him back inside its walls.

\- You can go up to your room and rest for a bit, dinner will be ready soon. Tomorrow will be a busy day, we will need to go buy new robes, there will be the annual christmas ball here. I know that you don’t want to but please, Draco, at least try. - Narcissa pecked his cheek before walking away.

Draco just sighed, walking up the stairs to his room, he had enough energy to strip off of his robes, fall onto his bed, that was even softer than he remembered, and let his eyes fall shut.

 

Draco woke up in the early morning, the sun wasn’t even up, it was still between dark and dawn, he stretched and looked around his room.

Everything was the same, but something felt oddly unfamiliar.

Draco shook his head and got out of bed to take a long and hot shower.

He had no idea why no one had come to wake him to attend dinner but he was also grateful that they just let him sleep, he didn’t want to face Lucius just yet.

After a long shower in which Draco spent most time simply standing under the hot stream of water, he slowly put on some warm clothes, walked down to their dining room and sat down.

A house elf popped up right away, putting hot tea in front of him and asking him what he would like to eat for breakfast.

Draco sat alone, sipping his hot tea, getting lost in his own thoughts.

It was snowing outside, snowing so peacefully, flakes twirling around in their own perfect dance, landing down, hugging the earth and everything beyond.

Draco loved snow, he loved watching as it snowed, it was just so calming. And if you got to be outside while it was snowing, you just felt like you were in your own little world, your own little bubble. Sometimes it felt like you were in your own little snowball, snowflakes twirling around you in a dance and all you needed to do was just look and dance.

Peaceful.

Snow made everything look peaceful.

Maybe it was because everything seemed to be sleeping, covered in a warm blanket.

\- Draco, dear? - soft voice brought Draco back to reality.

He blinked a couple times, understanding that he was standing by the big window, his hand pressed against cold glass, icy flowers blooming from his fingertips.

He had no idea how and when he had gotten up and walked to the window.

\- Are you feeling alright, Draco? - a worried tone rang through Narcissa’s voice, making Draco finally look up.

\- Yeah, I’m okay. Didn’t hear you, that’s all. - Draco glanced back at the window where a handprint with blossomed ice flowers stood.

\- Come and eat your breakfast with me, dear. Come. - Narcissa held out her hand for Draco, that worried look still in her eyes.

\- I’m fine, mother. - Draco put his hand into Narcissa’s waiting palm, leading her back to the big table, trying to ignore her flinch at how cold his hands really were. - I got lost in thoughts about snow. Nothing to worry about. It’s all under control. You can ask Alec if you don’t believe me. -

\- Of course I believe you. I am just worried as all mothers are about their beloved children. - Narcissa pecked the top of his head before sitting down at the table and starting to eat her own breakfast.

 

Shopping was once one of Draco’s favourite things to do.

Was.

Once.

But now, now he didn’t even know how he would survive the whole day and knowing that when he would finally get home, there would be a big ball going on made it all even worse.

How had he once loved doing this?

How?

There were just too many people doing their last minute christmas shopping or simply hanging out, simply too many people.

So by the third shop, when he was sent into the changing room, he simply sat down, leaning against the wall and letting his eyes fall shut, wishing that he could just tune out all the sound and get a bit of peace.

After just a couple of minutes of sitting down, someone pulled back the curtain and slid into the small dressing room, sighing heavily before leaning against the opposite wall from Draco.

\- Harry? - Draco sat up a bit straighter from the surprise of seeing the black haired mess right in front of him.

Maybe he did fall asleep and was having a nice dream for once?

\- Draco? Oh my, I didn’t know that anyone was in here. But I’m so glad to see you! - Harry pushed himself off of the wall and sat next to Draco, letting their shoulders brush together. - Who are you hiding from? -

\- I just wanted to rest a bit, it all got just a little bit too much. What about you? - Draco turned his head to look at Harry, noticing the weird-looking beanie he was wearing.

\- Sirius made it for me. Remus loved that. Sirius even made Remus a sweater that was even weirder-looking. - Harry explained with a laugh, noticing Draco’s look.

\- That’s sweet. I guess. - 

\- No one has ever made anything for you? - Harry looked deep into Draco’s eyes.

\- Not like that. - Draco breathed out, already getting lost in the green depths of Harry’s eyes.

Someone pulled back the curtain, ruining the peaceful moment and startling Draco, making his heart jump painfully inside his ribcage.

\- A bit too early for a making out session, pall. And Moony is waiting for us with hot chocolate so c’mon, we still need to find you something to wear. - A handsome-looking guy with a leather jacket, that Draco recognised now as Sirius, smirked down at Harry.

-  We were not making out. Just talking. - Harry laughed, pushing himself back up and walking out of the changing room, Sirius throwing an arm around his shoulders.

Harry looked back and waved to Draco before walking out of the shop where Remus Lupin was already waiting for them with a goofy smile playing on his lips and his hands full of big steaming cups.

 

Somehow Draco had made it through most of the day. Now there was just the ball left. And while some may think that it was nothing special, just a couple of hours, Draco knew how wrong it was, balls at the manor were grand, lasting till the first rays of sun started to shine through.

It would be agonizing to play the good son role, Draco was already tired, he didn’t even want to put on the brand new dress robes they just bought, he didn’t want to get up from the bed, his eyelids just too damn heavy for him to keep them open.

One breath in, one out, another in and another out… 

Out…

 

\- Yes, I will get him down. Calm down, Lucius! He was tired, he probably just fell asleep. - A soft voice was talking quickly somewhere close by, slightly muffled by the door.

Without hearing any reply, the door creaked open.

\- Oh, for fuck’s sake, Lucius! He’s your son, not some monster! - Sass was dripping from Narcissa’s voice.

The door shutting made Draco finally open his eyes, still feeling way too tired than needed.

He felt confused, did he really hear his mother curse at his father?

\- Mum…? - his voice cracked, he pushed his head up, it felt way too heavy.

How long had he  slept?

\- Oh, my little dragon, you are up. You need to get dressed, the ball is about to start. But first, you need to eat a bit, you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast. - Narcissa came and sat down next to Draco, giving him a tray with food before getting back up and walking to get Draco’s robes.

Draco’s mind was still cloudy but he forced a bit of food down, focusing more on the tea, already feeling better after finishing his cup.

\- A couple drops of calming drought. - Narcissa smiled at him, pecking his temples before helping him get into the new robes.

Draco let himself be led downstairs, putting his chin up, locking away all emotions, stopping to stand in between Lucius and Narcissa by the big front door.

Any second now all the guests would walk through them, stopping to politely greet the Malfoy family.

Draco was like a porcelain doll, standing where he should, acting like they wanted him to.

The only difference was that there was no mischief in his eyes, no smile tinting his lips, no hand held out to squeeze the hands of everyone that walked past.

Just a plain, picture perfect porcelain doll.

So he mostly let himself float between all the guests, avoiding all possible chances of conversation.

But he couldn’t avoid them all so by midnight, he was already stuck in pointless conversations that droned on and on while his head got more and more cloudy.

Soon Draco just couldn’t take it anymore, everyone was too damn drunk and too damn touchy, it was making him sick.

Draco just turned and walked away in the middle of a conversation with someone whose name he didn’t care to notice, simply needing to get away, but of course it wouldn’t be as easy as that.

Draco was just turning the corner of another dark hallway when Lucius gripped his upper arm, pulling him to a stop.

\- How dare you just walk off like that? They are… - Lucius hissed angrily in Draco’s face, his hand squeezing Draco’s way too hard but Draco’s mind was too cloudy to actually hear the words leaving Lucius lips.

He just watched the angry tint painting Lucius face, lips moving even harsher, but Draco just couldn’t push himself to care, everything was just too much, way too much, and Lucius was way too close, gripping him way too strongly.

And then there it was, the slap across his face, making fire arise in his cheek, tears pricking his tired eyes.

Cold, sticky fingers gripped his chin, raising his head up to look into Lucius’ glaring eyes.

Draco just couldn’t take it all, there was way too much touching, way too much Lucius in his space, so he let a single tear roll down his cheek, easing the burning a bit but at the same time flaming it up even more.

It seemed to piss Lucius off even more, lightning flashed through his eyes before another slap came, making Draco’s head hit the wall behind him.

He wanted to scream, to run, to hide, to cry, to do something, but all he could do was stay there with an aching head and burning cheek, his legs trembling and on the edge of giving up on supporting his weight.

Through the fog in his eyes he saw Narcissa rushing to them, pushing Lucius away roughly, shooting him a death glare before carefully taking Draco by the shoulders, leading him away, trying to touch him minimally but at the same time supporting his weight because his legs were trembling far too hard.

When they were finally just steps away from his room, he let a single broken sob escape his lips, unshed tears burning his eyes.

Just a couple more steps and he would be safe.

Just a couple more.

Just a bit.

Draco’s legs gave out, he dropped down onto the big fluffy carpet, not really caring about how that would ruin his robes, he just pushed his face deeper into the comforting fur.

But no matter how soft the fur pressing against his skin was, the big darkness was caving him in and soon enough, a deep fire was gripping his chest, making his breath come out ragged till there were no breaths at all.

Draco was just so damn tired and it hurt so much to try and expand his lungs so he stopped trying, wanting the pain to ease, wanting to sleep or simply disappear.

\- Draco. - A strong and familiar voice broke through the dark and hopelessness, making Draco force his eyes open and meet soft blue ones.

\- Breathe in. Breathe, Draco. For me. - A soft hand came to rest against his cheek.

And just like that, a breath was sucked into his lungs and it didn’t even burn that much so he sucked in another breath and another till he was breathing properly once again, getting lost in Alec’s eyes.

\- That’s right, breathe baby, breathe. - Alec’s soft fingers ran over his cheek, up into his hair, brushing it out of Draco’s eyes.

Without really realising, tears started to run down Draco’s cheeks, and Alec was there to catch each and every one.

He softly pulled Draco closer, keeping one hand running through Draco’s hair.

Draco buried his face in Alec’s neck, breathing in his familiar and calming scent, letting his tears soak into Alec’s skin.

\- I’m here, I’m here, baby. I will keep you safe from dusk till dawn. I will keep you safe. -

From dusk till dawn.

From dusk till dawn.

Dusk till dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, let's be honest, tell me all what you think about Alec and his and Draco's relationship.


	15. World Cup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it have been sitting in my docs for over week but here it finally is

**World Cup.**

 

When Draco finally woke up, he felt warm and safe. Alec was still next to him with Draco gripping his shirt and with his own hand deep in Draco’s hair, his heartbeat beating steadily against Draco’s chest, Draco’s face still pressed against Alec’s neck.

Draco didn’t want to move, he was still way too tired and his body felt too heavy to move it at all, even just thinking about getting up to go to the bathroom made him shut his eyes more tightly.

Alec hummed in his sleep, pressing a bit closer to Draco, his hand started to lazily run through Draco’s hair again.

Draco let out a deep breath, pressing his face deeper against Alec’s neck, falling back asleep.

 

He woke again later that day, the sun was shining over both of them, Alec was still playing with his hair, holding a book in the other hand, reading.

Draco huffed out a breath, shifting a bit, making Alec’s fingers still in his hair.

\- Wakey, wakey, sleepyhead. - Alec murmured in his ear.

Draco just slowly turned around to lie on his back before slowly pushing himself up.

Alec was up right away, helping Draco, holding him still.

Without saying anything else, Alec lead Draco to the bathroom, staying just outside the door in case Draco needed help.

Draco glanced at the bath but he was too damn heavy to actually take it without accidentally drowning himself.

Well, even that didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

Draco pushed the thoughts away, dragging himself back to the room into  Alec’s waiting arms that lead him to bed, pulling a fluffy blanket around him and softly pushing the falling locks out of Draco’s eyes.

\- You should eat something. - Alec murmured before lying down next to Draco, pulling him close and starting to play with his hair again.

Draco didn’t answer, he just let his eyes fall back shut and let sleep take over him.

 

Draco didn’t speak at all through the holiday.

Not even to Alec or Dobby popping by. He just stayed silent, his voice lost with the slaps from Christmas.

Alec stayed with him through another night, keeping him safe and helping him keep calm. But then he needed to go because he was there without permission from Lucius, having told Draco how Dobby simply popped up in his flat and took him right to Draco.

Draco was grateful for that, but he still couldn’t force himself to actually open his mouth and say anything at all.

So when Alec was about to leave, he just pressed himself against his chest, burying his face against his neck, placing a small peck right where his pulse was flickering in the main artery.

Alec smiled down at him, placing a soft and protective kiss against his forehead.

\- Remember that I am here for you. - He murmured into Draco’s ear before letting Dobby take him away.

But still, Draco didn’t speak.

It annoyed Lucius but he stayed in his place, not saying anything about it.

So Draco stayed silent.

Even when Lucius handed him a generous christmas present, two tickets to the world cup that summer.

Narcissa was worried, he could see that but he still couldn’t force himself to open his lips and form actual words to come out.

Even when Narcissa dropped him off at the Hogwarts express, he just squeezed her hand before going away.

In the express, Lupin was waiting for him already, not asking anything, just giving Draco a piece of homemade chocolate cake and a bundle of different kinds of muggle chocolate.

Draco was grateful for the lack of talking, he was too sad to talk, so after finishing his piece of cake, he let his head drop against Remus’ shoulder, his eyes way too heavy to keep open.

Draco went  two more weeks without speaking.

It happened without warning really.

He was just sitting in Remus’ room, flipping through this comics thing together with Harry, when a big owl landed in front of Remus with a big bundle tied to its legs.

Lupin read through the letter and laughed out loud before rummaging through the bundle and coming over to them, giving Draco a pack of something.

Draco looked down at it, not understanding what it was.

\- Gummy bears, Sirius thought that you would love these. - Remus’ smile is kind.

\- Thank you. - Draco croaked out, getting startled by his own voice after almost a month of not talking.

Both Remus and Harry looked at him before Remus just grinned and went back to his desk and Harry jumped up.

\- You’re speaking again! - He was like an excited puppy, looking at Draco with his eyes wide and sparkling with joy.

Draco just shook his head, reaching for a glass of juice.

Later in the evening when he walked away, he heard Remus speaking softly with Sirius through the floo.

\- Thank you for helping him find his voice again, Pad. He deserves something good in his life. -

Draco turned and went out of the room, he should go down to dinner but without really noticing, he climbed his way up to the astronomy tower, sitting down and watching the stars, turning his mind off and enjoying the silence.

 

It wasn’t until March that he could finally go down to the hogsmeade and meet Alec. Harry and Remus had asked him once again to join their lunch with Sirius but Draco couldn’t turn Alec down and he really wasn’t sure if he was ready to meet Sirius Black.

It was warm and the air already smelled of spring, the sun was shining, warming their skin, so Draco left his coat inside, going down in a plain sweater.

Alec was already waiting for him at the gates, a big smile spreading over his lips when he saw Draco.

He reached out and pulled Draco closer, running a hand through Draco’s hair.

\- Gosh, how I missed you! They are getting pretty long. - Alec gripped locks of Draco’s hair in his fingers, smiling fondly down at him before letting go.

\- I need a haircut. - Draco mumbled, pulling Alec’s hand away but keeping it in his grip. - And I missed you too. Sorry for the lack of owls, been busy with studies. -

\- It’s all okay. Let me see you clearly. - Alec softly pushed Draco away, turning him around, his smile only spreading. - I see that at least you have remembered to eat properly. And I love how my jumper looks on you. -

Alec winked, earning a light slap on the shoulder from Draco, who started to walk away but Alec pulled him back, pressing a soft kiss on top of his head.

\- You’re an idiot. - Draco just shook his head, starting to walk, letting Alec hold his hand, enjoying the warmth radiating from him.

Alec just laughed loudly, pulling Draco a bit closer.

They spent the day walking around, talking about everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks since they’d seen each other.

In the end, Alec pulled Draco into a hairdressing salon and paid for his new haircut.

\- It feels so weird to have my hair so short again. - Draco ran a hand through his hair, feeling how the wind was caressing his skin.

\- But it looks good. I don’t mind long hair too, I probably could do with a haircut. - he tugged at his own hair.

Draco pushed both his hands into Alec’s hair, tugging softly.

\- Nah, this suits you. Especially now when it’s messy, like you have just rolled out of bed or a wild party. -

\- And what do you know about wild parties? - Alec let his hands rest on Draco’s forearms.

\- That they are wild. - 

\- Oh yeah? Such a party animal, are you? - Alec smirked at Draco, pecking his cheek before taking him by the hand and leading him away. - Let’s get something to eat, I wanna make sure that you are full today. - 

Draco let himself be dragged across the street, Alec ended up making sure that Draco actually ate until he was full, leaving him all sleepy, leaning against Alec.

Draco was letting Alec play with his hair while he was looking out the window.

Just then, Harry embraced with Remus and Sirius walked past, Sirius’ arm thrown protectively around Remus waist, his hand pushed inside Remus trouser pocket, keeping him close, his hair loose, pecking Remus cheek and earning a soft slap from Remus, Harry walking with them, laughing with his eyes shining as if such adoration and love were something he had seen on daily basis.

\- What are you looking at? - Alec’s voice came as a whisper against his ear, his lips brushing against the skin there, making Draco shudder a bit.

\- Harry with his parents. They asked me to join them for lunch again but I said no. Wanted to spend a day with you. - Draco yawned.

\- I’m pleased. You probably should go back too, it’s getting late and I don’t want you to get into trouble. - Alec pushed a hand through Draco’s hair before standing up, pulling Draco with him and walking outside, holding Draco’s hand.

They walked almost all the way in comfortable silence, both lost in their minds.

Alec pecked Draco on the forehead when they reached the gates of Hogwarts, smiling sadly.

They didn’t need words to say goodbye, Draco breathed in Alec’s scent one more time before walking through the gates, but suddenly he turned around.

\- Alec, wait! - he ran back to Alec. - Father got me two tickets to the World Cup, do you want to come with me? -

For a split second Draco felt nervous, gripping the bottom of his jumper, afraid that Alec would say no.

\- Of course! I haven’t been to one before, I would love to! Now, go get to the castle before they hex your arse! - Alec laughed, pushing Draco softly back through the gates.

 

The rest of the school year went by pretty quickly, in no time Draco was back home. 

The first evening back was a bit tense but Lucius was surprisingly calm, talking with Draco about school and how good it was that he had passed his exams, or at least how good he thought it was that he had passed them. 

-Draco, before you go, I wanted to ask, where do you want to spend your summer this year? - Lucius turned his look fully onto Draco after taking a sip of firewhiskey. 

\- I am not sure, father. Can I think about it and give you my answer tomorrow? - Draco's fingers clenched the hem of his robes under the table. 

\- Sure. - Lucius leaned back in his chair, finishing his glass. 

Draco silently slipped away to his room. 

He was tired and wanted to sleep so he climbed into his bed and fell asleep right when his head hit the pillow. 

 

Draco chose to stay at the manor to start with. He spent most of his days outside in the garden, whispering silently with Dobby when nobody was looking. 

Draco was surprised by how calm Lucius seemed, he didn't raise his voice even once at him in a week. 

And where it should have made him feel calm and safe, he instead felt wary and uneasy so when Alec's letter finally came, saying that he would love to spend the summer with Draco, he gladly traveled to France. 

He spent days talking to Narcissa, claiming that she could stay home, that Alec was there to take care of him, but nothing that he said could change her mind. 

It broke his heart a little to see how sad her eyes were without Lucius nearby so that evening, he sat down next to her, close enough to let their knees bump together. 

-You really love him, don't you? - Draco asked calmly, sipping his evening tea with a drop of calming draught. 

\- Of course I do. How could I not? I know that he doesn't show his love and that he can be cruel but it's just who he is and I love him fully, even all these ugly parts. One day you will understand that. - Narcissa looked at the fire with some deeper emotion dancing in her eyes. 

Draco thought about her words, thinking back to all the times that Lucius had shown any love at all. 

He could remember some looks he’d given Narcissa and the one time Draco had found them dancing in the moonlight but he couldn't remember a single time Lucius had ever shown him his love. 

Or did all the galleon-throwing count as love to him? 

Draco really didn't know. 

 

After that, Draco spent most of his days lying around with Alec and Dobby, chatting around, playing games and being just silly. 

More often than not he would spend his time in Alec's arms. 

Even when he still couldn't bear too much physical contact, Alec always found a way to stay close and make Draco feel protected. 

He would lie close to Draco but not really touch him, simply playing with his hair or his fingers. 

Draco got so used to his touch that sometimes it was real trouble falling asleep without hearing Alec's breathing somewhere next to him or feeling Alec's fingers on his skin, so most days Alec simply stayed with him. 

 

On Draco's birthday Alec took him to the beach.

He wanted Dobby to come with them but since it was a full-on muggle beach, he couldn’t; Dobby reassured him and told Draco to have fun.

Draco was a bit skeptical about it, not understanding what could be so great about sitting by the water while the sun was roasting them like meat in the oven.

But then he stepped onto the white sand with his bare feet and let out a small gasp at the sensation it brought out.

Alec let out a laugh, holding his hand.

Draco looked up with his eyes wide, locking his gaze with Alec’s.

And then they were running, running as fast as they could with their feet slipping on the soft sand beneath them.

They didn’t even stop at the edge of water where soft waves were licking sand, they just kept on running till they were knee-deep in the water, waves crashing around them.

Draco shivered at how cold the water actually was, chilling his sun-roasted skin.

Alec’s eyes were shining with happiness, his lips tinted with a smile.

Another wave crashed against them, making Draco shiver again, but then hot hands were on his sides, warming up his body, flaming it.

He locked his eyes with Alec’s shining ones and then Alec was lifting him up and he felt like he could touch the clouds and the sun with the tips of his fingers, so he reached out his hands and closed his eyes.

They were spinning and spinning, Alec was spinning them around, laughing softly, and then they were falling into soft waves of salty water.

And Draco felt pure again.

It was like every salt molecule was purifying his skin, his whole body and his soul.

 

Draco was buzzing with excitement and just one glance at Alec made him even more excited.

Alec was almost jumping from how pumped he was, his eyes were shining and his lips were curled into an excited smile.

He held a backpack on one shoulder, looking really good in his leather jacket and tight black jeans.

Earlier that week he had taken Draco out shopping in muggle Paris, that ended up being a real adventure.

On that day, Draco fell in love with shopping once again.

Muggles had such a wide range in fashion. With every new shop Draco felt more and more excited.

Alec was enjoying dressing Draco up in all sorts of muggle clothing a bit too much, loving his reactions to different styles so in the end, Draco just pulled on all sorts of weird clothing combinations just to make Alec crack up even more.

Narcissa couldn’t hide her surprise when they stumbled through the doors carrying more bags than they could fit in their arms with flushed cheeks and messy hair but with their eyes shining.

They settled on Draco wearing a matching leather jacket and skinny jeans but instead of black, his was ocean blue.

As Alec had let it slip, they brought out Draco’s ass pretty nicely.

Draco was surprised by how comfortable muggle clothing felt, that he spent hours and hours ranting about it to Dobby, getting excited answers from the house elf of how he loved socks and hats and basically any clothing he could get on, so Draco give him some of his socks as a gift.

As they waited in line to buy a camping space at the game, Alec was holding Draco’s hand in his, looking around with excited eyes.

\- I have never been to something like this!  - Alec murmured in his ear before running a hand through Draco’s hair.

\- Me neither, father has taken me to a couple quidditch games but we have never been to a world cup. And I have never ever slept in a tent, haven’t even been close to one to be honest. - Draco let his shoulder press against Alec’s.

\- Really? Never? Draco, how posh can you be? - Alec threw his head back, laughing.

Draco couldn’t take his eyes off of him, noticing how perfectly the sun hit his face, making him look like a glowing angel.

So when Alec finally looked back down at Draco with his shining eyes and pink lips, a hot blush tinted Draco’s pale cheeks, making Alec chuckle even more and pull him a bit closer.

They didn’t have any problem with paying the muggles since Alec was really good with muggle money, amusing Draco every time.

And as he soon found out, Alec was good at setting up a tent.

\- How do you do that? How can you know how that thing actually works? - Draco asked, sitting down on the grass with his legs crossed.

\- Do what? - Alec stretched, turning to look at Draco.

\- All of this thing. - Draco motioned to the tent Alec had finished setting up.

\- My parents used to take me camping, now come on, we need to get you something to eat before we go and explore everything around here. - Alec was looking around with excitement dancing in his eyes.

\- You know, I am not really that hungry, we can just go now. - Draco pushed himself back up, brushing non-existent dirt from his jeans, but when he looked up he knew that he had messed up: Alec’s face was clouded, his eyes blazing fire.

\- Yes, you do. You need to eat decent meals At Least three times a day, Draco. And I won’t let you skip any damn meals, especially not because of me. Now get your round bum in that tent so I can get you something to eat. - Alec held open the entrance of the tent for Draco.

Draco shivered before slipping past Alec into the tent and stopping right there, looking around the small tent that was so much bigger inside.

It looked like a home, like a warm and comfortable home with everything you need to feel safe.

\- Like it? - Alec’s hot breath danced over Draco’s skin behind his ear, making a soft shiver run down his spine.

He couldn’t force himself to speak so he just nodded, earning a chuckle from Alec.

A hot hand slipped over his hip, moving him a bit deeper into the tent before Alec let go and went to the kitchen section, starting to prepare food for them both.

Draco used the time to walk around and simply explore the space around them, feeling calm and sitting down in a comfy armchair, watching Alec move around and get each of them a plate of hot food that made Draco’s mouth water.

\- You are such an amazing cook. - Draco murmured around a forkful of food, closing his eyes and devouring the rich taste.

After they finished eating, they went out and simply walked around, taking in everything.

Alec was holding Draco’s hand the whole time and Draco was grateful for that because he felt a lot safer feeling his touch against his skin.

Alec ended up buying random little things, gifting Draco a ridiculous miniature Viktor Krum that zoomed around on a broom and a play snitch.

\- That snitch will actually help you with your motor skills. So another bonus. - Alec mentioned in passing, letting his lips brush against Draco’s ear.

They left it all in the tent before walking down to the massive stadium and climbing to their seats in the vip lounge.

Halfway up the stairs Draco stopped, not sure if he would actually be able to climb all the way up, but Alec placed a warm hand against the small of his back and that was all it took for him to keep on climbing. So when they reached the top, Alec placed a soft peck against Draco’s temple as if saying how proud he was of Draco.

Before they could get any further, Harry came rushing up to him.

\- Draco! You are sitting here too? That’s so cool! I am so happy to see you! - He gripped Draco’s shoulder, a wide grin playing over his lips. - We are sitting right at the front, wanna come say hi to Ron and Hermione? -

\- Hi, I am not fully sure if that’s a good idea. Don’t want to ruin their day. - 

\- Oh, don’t be silly, come on. - Harry pulled Draco by his hand to where they were sitting, still grinning like a fool but his eyes were an even brighter green from the joy.

One look back and Draco could see how cloudy Alec’s eyes had gotten so Draco reached out and took Alec’s hand in his free one, pulling him with them.

Alec gripped Draco’s fingers a bit tighter, when they stopped he pressed his shoulder against Draco’s, staying close as if protecting him.

\- Granger, Weasley. Hello. - Draco gave a nod to each of them, earning one back, then he turned to look ahead and felt a bit calmer right away by spotting Remus and Sirius. - Professor Lupin! Mr.Black. -

\- Draco, what a pleasure to see you! - Lupin got up and shook his hand with a smile but Sirius’ face was cloudy and he stayed sat down, wrapping an arm around Remus’ shoulders as soon as he sat back down.

\- This is Alec. - Draco turned to face Alec, locking their eyes for a second and placing a hand over his chest.

Alec shook hands with everyone, never letting go of Draco’s hand.

They stayed there to chat a bit, Draco found out that it wasn’t so bad to actually talk with Harry’s friends. Also Alec helped a lot, getting on really well together with Granger.

When it was time, Alec placed a hand on Draco’s hip, leading him to their seats, and Draco couldn’t hide a sigh when he was finally sitting down.

\- If you wanted to get a massage, you could have just asked, not forced yourself to overwork. - Alec smirked, placing a soft peck against Draco’s temples right when the game was about to start.

Draco just smacked his hand, making Alec break out laughing.

Just a couple seconds in and Draco was fully concentrated on what was going on in the pitch.

Everyone all of a sudden was acting weird, well, mostly boys and men. Veelas were dancing.

Draco watched how Harry stood up and had his eyes on veelas down below, he stood on the railing and lifted one leg up as if ready to jump but Sirius softly pulled him back, trying to hold back his laughter.

Draco looked over at Alec who looked simply bored but smiled at Draco when their eyes met.

\- Veelas have a charm on people, make them do idiotic things just to get on with them. - He whispered to Draco.

Before he could reply, Irish team mascots came out, taking all his attention.

\- These are way cooler, don’t you think? - Draco murmured in Alec’s ear, feeling a rumble of laughter break over Alec.

After that, they both didn’t talk for the rest of the game, too caught up in what was happening on the pitch.

With every score and seekers’ move, he started to feel some kind of longing to be playing once again, but also that deep feeling of adrenaline that a good game can bring when you enjoy it fully.

After it ended, all players come in their boot, Draco and Alec stood up for them.

Krum was still bleeding and looked bored but then his eyes glanced over Draco and Alec, stopping on Alec, checking him fully out. Then something flared in his eyes, making them not so dark.

Alec just shook his head, a soft smile playing on his lips before he looked down.

A hot flame, something like acid, ran through Draco’s chest.

For some reason he wanted to slap that look off of Krum’s face and pull Alec closer, hold him and let him nuzzle against Draco’s neck.

Draco had no idea what these crazy thoughts were and he really didn’t want to let them ruin his evening so he just turned around, facing an excited Harry and his friends, engaging in the conversation about the game that ended a few minutes before.

Draco glanced back and saw Krum grumbling something to Alec who had a soft smile playing over his lips.

Alec nodded, murmured something back, clapped Krum on the shoulder and walked over to Draco with a way too goofy grin on his lips that made Draco just scowl.

Sirius nudged Remus on the side, nodding to Alec, earning a strict word from Remus.

And then Alec was back next to Draco, running a hand through his hair but, for some reason, Draco just couldn’t take his touch in that moment so he pulled away, noticing a hurt look sliding over Alec’s face with the side of his eye.

They stayed there chatting for a bit longer before everyone made their way back to the tents.

Draco felt pleased but also really exhausted, wanting to get into bed and fall asleep, but when they finally slid into their tent, he found that Alec had other plans.

\- What did I do to upset you? - He asked right after the door flap closed behind them.

Draco just groaned, walking over to the kitchen area, looking through the stuff Alec had laid out on the table.

\- Draco. Talk to me. Please. - Alec stopped next to him, not moving his eyes off of Draco.

\- Nothing. Can we have some tea? - Draco plopped down in one of the soft armchairs, letting his eyes fall shut.

\- Of course. - Alec started to make them some tea. - But I can see that something made you upset. It would just be better to tell me straight away so I can fix it. -

Draco groaned again, this time louder, running his own hands through his hair, feeling frustrated.

\- I don’t know, okay? I have no damn idea! - Alec turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised as if asking: what aren’t you saying? - Fine! I didn’t like how that Krum was looking at you! -

Draco spat it out like vomiting acid but felt better right away, calm setting over his chest and easing away the burning there.

Alec looked at him a bit surprised for a moment before turning around to fish out the tea bags from their tea and giving one cup to Draco, sitting down next to him.

They didn’t talk for a few minutes, simply sipping their tea in silence.

With every passing minute, Draco felt more and more sleepy but then finally Alec started to speak.

\- He asked me if I wanted to hang out tonight to celebrate the good game. Have a few drinks, have some good time and so on. - Alec murmured as if ashamed.

Draco turned fully to face him, feeling that weird feeling creeping back into his chest, urging him to spill the remains of his tea on Alec’s face.

\- I said no, that I needed to stay with you. - Alec looked up at Draco, his eyes looking so sad that they were an even more piercing blue.

\- Okay. - Draco heard himself murmur, placing his teacup down and shifting closer to Alec, curling against his side, hiding his face against Alec’s neck, letting out a breath he didn’t know that he was holding, making Alec shiver.

He pressed a soft ghost-like kiss against the pulse point on Alec’s neck, hearing a soft whimper escape Alec, so then he just snaked his arm around Alec’s chest, squeezing him even closer.

Alec softly placed one hand over Draco’s thigh and moved the other over his shoulders and pushed his hand in Draco’s hair, starting to play with it.

It felt so good and relaxing, his fingers massaging Draco’s aching skin, that without really realizing, he let out a soft purr.

Alec’s hand froze for a second, his other hand squeezing Draco’s thigh a bit before relaxing back into the chair.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, tell me all! How did you like it all? What do you think will happen next?


	16. New Things, New Interests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter have sit in my docs for a looong while but here it is finally posted. hope you can enjoy.

**New Things, New Interests.**

 

It was the last night before Draco would go back to  Hogwarts to study his fourth year.

He was lying in bed, waiting for sleep to catch up to his tired body, chatting with Dobby.

He missed Alec even though it had been just a couple of hours since they’d last seen each other, before Draco had come home from France.

More and more, Draco found his mind traveling back to the world cup, thinking over all the details, getting more and more mixed up on what he was feeling.

\- Dobby, is it okay to like boys? - he suddenly asked, watching the moon shine a bit brighter through the stars scattered in the night sky. 

\- Oh, master Draco, Dobby thinks so. Why should things such as names matter when someone loves another? Dobby thinks that when you love something, there are no limits, you just love. Why is master Draco asking such a thing? - Dobby put another log in the fireplace.

\- Because I think that I may like boys. I’m not sure. It’s so confusing. - Draco groaned.

\- No need to worry, if it’s true, it will come around. - Dobby smiled toothily at Draco, pulling a blanket over him. - Good night, master Draco. -

\- Good night, Dob. - Draco yawned and let sleep take over him, dreaming of Alec and Harry, mixed up with that ugly feeling in his chest when Krum was talking to Alec, slipping back into walking through muggle Paris full of good-looking boys.

 

Narcissa insisted on taking him to the train, there seemed to be more people than usual.

\- What’s going on? Why are there so many people? - Draco turned to Narcissa.

\- Hogwarts is holding a triwizard tournament this year so those who already know of it want to see more of what is happening. - She looked down at Draco lovingly, cupping his cheek. - And for the first time, every mother’s heart can be calm because only witches and wizards of age can sign up for it. -

\- Oh, so we will finally meet kids from other schools? That sounds cool. - Draco gripped Narcissa’s hand in his.

\- I hope that you will have fun. I put a small bottle of calming draught in your bag but Alec assured me that you are sleeping a lot better. -

Memories of how almost every night over summer he had ended up with Alec sleeping in his bed, their hands always locked together, flashed in his mind and a pink tint spread over his cheeks.

\- He’s a really good friend. Thank you, mum, for hiring him back then. - 

\- Oh, I knew that you would like him. I am glad that you could build a friendship. Oh, the train is about to leave, now go on, but promise me to write to me, okay? And stay safe. - Narcissa placed a soft kiss on Draco’s forehead before letting him go.

 

On the train, Draco trailed down the corridor until he spotted Blaise and Pansy sitting together and chatting.

\- Can I join? - Draco stopped by the door.

Both heads turned to look at him, both faces were split with big smiles.

\- Do you really have to ask? - Blase laughed until Pansy snatched his hand and pulled him into sitting down next to them.

\- Did you hear about the tournament? - Blase’s eyes lit up, he leaned closer to Draco while Pansy put away Draco’s trunk.

\- I can’t wait to meet all the hot boys! Just imagine, Beauxbatons, all the hot french boys! And those accents! And then all the Durmstrang boys! - Pansy went on, some weird sparkle going off in her eyes.

\- Did you know that Krum went to Durmstrang? He will probably attend the tournament too! - Blase clasped his hands in his lap.

\- I can’t wait to meet him! - Pansy almost squealed.

\- He’s a pretty big ass. - Draco growled before he could stop himself, crossing his arms over his chest.

That weird burning feeling was back. Maybe he should go see Madam Pomfrey or at least tell his mother or Alec. But he dismissed such a thing right away.

Both Blaise and Pansy were gaping at him, then Pansy turned  around, with her ready-to-introgarate face on.

\- Tell us what we have missed. When did you meet him and how do you know that? - 

\- Yes, I would love to hear some details too! - Blase sat up straighter.

\- There is nothing much to tell. I went to the world cup with Alec, Father got me two tickets in the top booth. After the game, all the players came up to meet all the ministers and so on. He was there. End of story. - Draco looked out of the window, his voice flat.

\- You are not telling us something. What is it? - Pansy went on.

\- Did you talk? - Blase jumped in too.

\- No, we didn’t. He eyed me like something he didn’t like and then eyed Alec up and down. Even daring to pull him aside and ask him to ditch me and go “party” with him instead. - Draco couldn’t hide the venom in his voice, the burning spreading in his chest just from thinking about it all again.

Pansy and Blaise looked at each other for a moment before Pansy drew in a breath and turned to talk to Draco.

\- And that makes him an ass? - Pansy asked carefully, something glinting in her eyes.

\- Yes. What are you on about? - Draco furrowed his brows.

\- Nothing, nothing. - Pansy threw her hair back.

\- So, how was France? We went to Italy! - And so the conversation was over, Blase going on and on about Italy and Pansy telling them about her wild trip, both hearing all the details about Draco’s summer and his first experience of going to the beach.

After hours of chatting so carelessly Draco felt a lot better, he even managed to eat something when the trolley lady passed their compartment.

 

They didn’t need to wait long for news, just that evening during the feast the triwizard tournament was announced and just weeks after, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang arrive.

Draco wanted to groan about all the reactions new students caused, what was so special about them all?

But instead of riling them up, he let Pansy and Blaise go on and on about them, throwing in a couple of comments of his own.

The next morning a surprise came, he had just sat down and poured himself some tea, dropping a couple drops of calming draught in it, when someone sat down next to him.

And it wouldn’t have been anything special but this someone was sitting way too close, making Draco tense up right away.

He turned around with a scowl and froze.

Krum was sitting next to him.

\- Gud Morning. - He grumbled, pouring himself a drink and looking around for something he would like to eat.

\- Morning. - Draco grumbled back.

They stayed silent for a couple of minutes, Draco sipping his tea and Krum shoveling bacon into his mouth.

\- Would you mind not sitting so close to me? - Draco couldn’t take it anymore, turning to face him again.

\- Oh? Sorry. - He moved a bit. - How is Alec? -

\- Why would you care? - 

\- Are you always such a bitch? - Krum glared at him, making Draco shoot a glare of his own.

They stayed like that for a bit but then Draco just let out a long breath, turning back to his breakfast.

\- Why do you dislike me so much? - Krum asked in a much calmer voice.

\- I… - Draco huffed a breath. 

\- Is it because of Alec? I didn’t mean to upset you. Or him. He’s just a really nice guy, wanted to make some friends. - Krum shrugged, finishing his breakfast.

\- Alec is my friend. - Draco mumbled.

\- Okay, I respect that. Maybe we can be friends. - with that Krum stood up and walked away.

 

After a week Draco had gotten used to Krum, he found the guy quite interesting and they had a lot to chat about.

And he found out that he didn't really mind how close Krum always sat down next to him, always some parts of their bodies brushing together. 

It reminded him of Alec, making him daydream about what Alec was doing alone, back in France. 

Then came the night when Champions were drawn and without a surprise, Krum was the first one. 

Draco clapped him on the shoulder, earning a little flash of emotion in Krum's eyes before he walked off. 

Fleur Delacour was chosen second and then came Cederic Diggory from Hufflepuff. 

Draco met Harry's eyes across the Hall and saw him with a big grin splitting his face in two and clapping like mad, Hermione next to him was just shaking her head with an amused smile. 

Draco furrowed his brows but went back to listening to what Dumbledore was telling them about the tournament. 

Later, when Draco was making his way back to his dorm, he saw Cederic and Harry hugging. 

Acid-like stinging flared through his chest at the sight but he just brushed it away, writing it off as being simply tired.

But over the next couple of days he saw it more and more, soon the acid-like flare had nestled in his chest to stay.

Simple looks, touches of hands, random hugs.

It all continued as if hunting Draco.

What were Harry and Cederic getting at?

Draco tried not to think about it but it constantly came to his mind, not leaving him alone.

 

He was walking back from the library, it was already late and he was tired, had been studying for hours, when he heard someone call his name - he turned around and saw the wide grin spreading over the caller’s face.

Draco let his bag drop down and he flung himself forward.

\- Dobby! - Draco breathed out, holding the house elf close as if in a hug but not really.

\- My young master, Draco! Dobby is so happy that he finally catught you! Dobby has wonderful news! Come, please. - And just like that Dobby was pulling him down one corridor, making Draco’s bag fly into his hand with just one flick of his fingers.

He stopped at the painting of a fruit bowl and tickled the pear, making it swing open, revealing majestic kitchens full of house elves.

Draco was taken aback, all he could do was stare for a moment, all the house elves’ eyes turned to him.

\- Hello. - He waved lamely.

Every house elf chimed back their greeting, starting to fuss around Draco, pulling him to a chair by the fire, getting him tea and cakes to eat.

\- Wow, Dob, are you, like, working here? - Draco couldn’t stop looking around the kitchens, he had never seen so many house elves in one place.

And all of them dressed decently with something similar to Hogwarts uniforms, all of them looking happy without any harm.

\- Yes! Headmaster agreed for Dobby to work here, and he is even paying Dobby a salary! And Dobby has sundays off! - Dobby’s eyes were shining. - Headmaster is so kind to Dobby, he wanted Dobby to have at least a week off in a month and pay more but it would be too much. -

\- Wow, Dob, that is amazing! - Draco sipped his tea, listening to Dobby tell him all about how he was doing, forgetting all about his own problems for a moment.

Then he told Dobby all about how he was doing in school and all about the weird feeling of seeing Harry together with Cedric.

Dobby even volunteered to spy on Cedric for him but Draco just shook his head, saying that it wasn’t necessary.

Then they simply talked about everything that came to mind for hours.

In the end Draco had drunk a full pot of tea, eated more than he had in days and felt calm.

It was already midnight by the time Dobby led Draco back down to his dorm room, promising to come by the next evening and saying that Draco could come down to the kitchens whenever he wished.

 

Soon the first task came, Draco had agreed to sit with Harry and Remus, bringing Blaise and Pansy with him, giving them bored looks whenever they murmured some insult about Gryffindors.

\- Hi, where’s Harry? - Draco sat down next to Remus, looking around, trying to spot Harry who wasn’t there.

Even Granger and Weasley were already in the stands, but no Harry.

\- He’ll be here any minute. Ah, here he comes. - Remus smiled.

Harry came running up to the stands with a weird grin spread over his lips, making Draco frown, but when he stopped right in front of Draco he still scooted over to make space for him, letting their hands brush together.

\- Where were you? - Draco hissed but before Harry could answer the task had started.

 A big sleeping Dragon was hovering over its eggs, the champions needed to get a golden egg.

Draco’s heart squeezed upon seeing how frantically the Dragon tried to save its eggs and when one of the champions smashed half her eggs he wanted to scream with the Dragon in agony.

He tried to say something about that to Harry but he wasn’t listening, he had all eyes on Cedric and when Cedric was pulled away back to safety, he didn’t even wait and ran straight down to the tents.

Draco sat there watching him go, feeling thick sadness pooling inside him.

Draco slipped away before anyone could stop him and walked down the side of the forest, deep in his mind.

Shouting pulled him back to reality, when he looked up he noticed that he had come to the dragon camp.

He knew that he should just turn around but he wanted to see.

He could hear the dragon whose eggs were smashed crying out loud.

Something just pulled him toward the gate, he saw the dragon being put to sleep, sad cries still escaping them.

\- She’s heartbroken. - Draco heard himself saying aloud, earning attention from the dragon tamers.

Before anyone could say anything to him, Draco crossed the path to the sleeping dragon and placed a hand on its forehead, letting his fingers slide up and down.

Little cries stopped almost at once, the dragon finally calming down in its sleep, holding the remains of her eggs close under her wing.

\- You know that she could roast you right there, don’t you? - Someone stopped behind him but Draco didn’t pull his hand away, there was something relaxing in patting a dragon.

His heart felt less heavy.

\- You should have helped her. Shouldn’t have let them smack her eggs. - a sudden anger flared in his chest and he wanted to shoot at anyone who would listen, he wanted to wake the heartbroken dragon and let her flame her way through anyone whose fault it was that her eggs were broken.

\- I know. - sadness in their tone made Draco look up just to find that he was talking to Charlie Weasley, who looked just as heartbroken as the dragon sleeping at their feet.

Draco looked back down to the sleeping dragon; he sat down, kept patting her.

In a second she shifted, making Charlie pull out his wand, but she just pushed her snout into Draco’s lap, pushing her head against his stomach and stilling once again in deep sleep.

Charlie let out a surprised sigh but Draco just wrapped his hands around the dragon, patting her with feather-light touches.

Charlie watched them for a moment before sitting down himself, resting his back against the high fence behind them, simply watching the scene before him.

 

Draco didn’t know how long he stayed with the dragon but when Charlie finally spoke it was already getting dark outside.

\- You know, you are not so bad. Come, we need to get you back to the castle before it gets too dark. - Charlie stood up, walking to Draco, slowly lifting the sleeping dragon’s head off of Draco.

Draco stood up and stretched, he felt sleepy but calm.

Charlie led him back to the castle in silence but before Draco could go in, he stopped him.

\- Don’t tell anyone about this. We shouldn’t have let you. Hope you understand that. - Charlie searched Draco’s eyes.

\- Sure. Take care of her. - Draco spun on his heel and walked inside, the feast was going on but Draco didn’t feel like facing all the people so he just walked down to his room and got into bed, slowly falling asleep.

He woke up a couple of hours later, Dobby was sitting on his bed, watching him with a small basket in his lap.

\- Dobby brought master Draco some food since he missed dinner. Alec made Dobby promise that he will make sure that master Draco eats. - Dobby smiled his toothy grin at Draco.

Draco stretched a bit before sitting up and taking the basket, starting to eat.

Dobby started to tell him about his day and Draco was glad, he didn’t really feel like talking.

But after Dobby had finished, words just started to pour out of him, he told Dobby everything about that day and how he felt, ending up crying and hugging Dobby close.

\- Maybe Master Draco should just talk to Harry Potter? - 

\- Probably. Thank you, Dob. - Draco murmured, already falling back asleep.

 

Draco and Harry went back to how they were, spending time together when possible, chatting and reading muggle comics.

But something was off, more and more often Harry would be late to their hangouts or cancel them.

It was Saturday, Draco walked from the library to the fifth floor where he and Harry usually met up in a comfortable alcove.

He was excited to meet Harry, he had read something really interesting in the library and couldn’t wait to tell him all about it.

Just a couple more steps and Draco would be there, turn the corner and… And Draco stopped like he had run into a wall.

Harry was indeed in their spot but he wasn’t alone.

He was pressed against one of the walls, his hands around Cedric while Cedric’s hands were around him.

His hair was all messed up, his glasses tilted to one side while his lips were connected to Cedric’s.

They were kissing.

Something inside Draco dropped and shattered.

He couldn’t breathe.

He felt like he would be sick any moment.

Draco turned around and ran, ran however fast he could.

He didn’t see where he was running to and he didn’t care, he just needed to get away.

Everything was foggy and his head was dizzy, he needed air, he needed… he needed…

What did he need?

To get away, outside or simply away.

His chest hurt and he had no idea if that was from what he saw or from running.

Sunlight hit his face, just a bit more and he would be outside, he would be free.

But a strong arm grabbed him, pulling him back.

Draco wanted to scream and fight but he simply didn’t have any strength left in him.

So he let himself be dragged away and sit down.

This someone who had pulled him back cupped his face in their hands, making him look up.

Draco blinked a couple times and saw Remus’ worried eyes watching him.

\- Draco, what happened? - He asked in such a gentle tone that tears sprung in Draco’s eyes.

Realization dawned on him, making it all ache even more.

\- Harry… - Draco choked out; something flickered in Remus eyes, he looked behind him, Draco followed his gaze and saw Sirius standing there with his arms crossed over his chest but with somehow a worried, sad look in his eyes. Remus turned back to look at Draco. - He was kissing him. In our spot. It was our place. And he was there with him. -

Draco broke down, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Remus looked back at Sirius before gently wiping away Draco’s tears.

Draco didn’t know what got into him but he leaned against Remus' chest, hiding his face in the soft sweater.

Remus held him until Draco calmed down.

Just as suddenly Draco had let himself lean against Remus, he pulled back, his face stone cold, all emotions wiped away.

\- I need to do homework. - He said in a strange voice that didn’t sound like him at all, pushing himself upright, wiping away non-existent dust from his jeans.

\- Draco. - Remus tried but Draco just shook his head and walked away, his head held high.

Once again, Draco had pushed all his emotions down, locking them away and walking around stone cold.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so excited to hear what you think of this chapter?! tell me all about it!


	17. Yule Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo babies!   
> This is such a turning chapter to be honest, so full of new emotions.  
> Also, we have a new ship name!  
> Dralec!  
> My lovely beta come up with it for Draco and Alec, to be honest, it have never even crossed my mind but after she said it, it just stick with me. ;D  
> Anyway, hope that you can enjoy this chapter.

**Yule Ball.**

 

After that day, things changed. 

Draco started to spend less time with Harry and it seemed that Harry didn’t even notice , too caught up with Cedric.

So Draco spent more time with Krum, getting to know him better.

When the Hogsmeade weekend finally came, Draco was one of the first out the door and he wasn’t disappointed, Alec was already standing by the gates, waiting for him.

One hand was pushed into a pocket of his leather jacket while the other held a lit cigarette; his hair was also longer, sporting a small man bun, deep shades highlighting his piercing eyes.

\- Finally. - Alec grumbled when Draco stepped out of the gates, dropping the cigarette’s  remains to the ground and pulling Draco into a tight hug, making Draco gasp and grab his shoulders to remain upright.

Alec hid his face in Draco’s hair and breathed in his scent, holding him close before starting to run a hand through Draco’s hair.

Draco slowly relaxed into the touch, melting against Alec’s body, hiding his own face in the crook of Alec’s neck and breathing in his so familiar scent.

\- I missed you. I was so damn worried. - Alec murmured, softly pushing Draco back and running his hands over Draco’s arms, taking in his appearance as if to check if Draco was okay.

\- I missed you so much. - Draco curled a strand of hair around his finger. - Your hair has gotten so long, and that little bun. I like it. -

\- Thought that you would. - Alec pushed Draco’s own hair back a bit.

\- Maybe we can start moving? I didn’t manage to get any breakfast yet. - Draco looked back up into Alec’s eyes.

\- Sure. - Alec pulled Draco back close, keeping an arm around his waist, interlocked their fingers, and pushed their linked hands into Draco’s coat pocket, placing a small peck on top of his head before starting to walk down the road.

Draco felt calmer right away, leaning against Alec, listening to Alec tell him about what he had been upto since they’d last met.

They stopped to eat a light breakfast, or rather,  for Draco to eat; all Alec got for himself was simple coffee.

\- Aren’t you eating anything? - Draco eyed Alec sipping his coffee.

\- I already did before coming here. Mum cooked a wonderful breakfast and didn’t let me out of the house before I ate at least a bit. Also, she would love to meet you. Father too, actually. They are both probably tired of listening to me ranting about you. - Alec chuckled into his mug.

\- Your parents want to meet me? - Draco looked up in disbelief.

\- Yeah, why not? Maybe this holiday we could do that? Are you coming to stay with me for a bit? Of course, only if Narcissa doesn’t mind. - Alec shrugged like it was nothing. - Now close your mouth and continue eating. -

\- It’s just that no one has ever asked me such a thing… - Draco murmured before taking another bite of his breakfast.

\- Well, then I am the first. - Alec gave Draco such a bright smile that he fully forgot all his worries.

\- So, don’t you have to meet up with Harry sometime today too? - Alec asked, looking out the window.

\- No, he’s probably too busy shoving his tongue down Cedric’s throat. - Draco didn’t really mean to put such venom into his voice, getting startled by his own tone, it simply happened, earning a weird look from Alec.

\- So that’s why your last letter was so cold. At least we’re clear about that. - Alec leaned back in his chair.

\- Don’t look so smug about it. It doesn’t mean anything. - 

\- Sure thing, sweety, you can keep on telling yourself such things if it helps you to sleep better. - Something dark passed Alec’s eyes as he leaned closer. - But you care about that dick, and he hurt you. Admit it and move on. -

\- He can kiss whoever he wants, I’m just his friend. And yes, I was hurt because he chose to take Cedric to our spot! He could have had him in any other place, but no, he dragged him up to our place and ruined it! - Draco felt the sudden flare of magic a bit too late, Alec’s mug of coffee already shattering, cutting Alec’s palm, but even that didn’t make Alec look away and lose eye contact.

Draco felt himself start to breathe faster, more shallow breaths, worry starting to seep into his flesh and bones, but then Alec’s cool hand was cupping his cheek and his eyes were looking deep into Draco’s, his thumb softly rubbing over Draco’s cheekbone.

\- Breathe. - Alec murmured, making Draco’s eyes shift down to his lips, watching how Alec breathed in and out, in and out, slowly starting to breathe at the same time as him, calming down.

\- Everything okay? - 

Draco just nodded, looking back up into Alec’s eyes.

Alec simply smiled before taking his hand away from Draco, taking a napkin and tying it around his palm.

\- I didn’t mean to… I… It… It really hasn't happened in so long… I.. - Draco couldn’t find the right words to say.

\- It’s all okay. Don’t worry. At least you let your anger out. That’s good. Even when I would have advised more pleasant ways to do it. - Alec let out a laugh, smiling at Draco. - Oh, wanna help me find a present for my mum? I have no idea what to get her! -

 

With that, they spent most of the day going from shop to shop, simply enjoying each other's company, Alec made sure to brighten Draco’s mood and helped him enjoy himself a lot more.

They ran into Krum on their way to get new quills for Draco.

\- Victor! Didn’t know that you were coming here too! - Alec let go of Draco’s hand and pulled Victor into a hug.

It would be okay because Draco knew that Alec was just that kind of person who liked extra touches but the satisfied smirk that spread over Krum’s face made Draco’s insides boil, so right when he finally let go of Alec, Draco pulled Alec back close, keeping hold of his hand, probably a bit too tight but he just needed that right now.

\- We wanted to get me some quills. - Draco reminded Alec, stepping closer to the shop.

\- Oh, I came to get some too. - Krum stepped into the shop after them.

\- Cool, we can shop all together then. - Alec sounded way too enthusiastic about that, making Draco squeeze his fingers a bit tighter.

\- Yea, I wanted to meet you again. Letters are just not the same, ya know. - Krum walked with them around the shop.

\- Yeah, but they are at least something. Also, you will need to tell me more about that quidditch match you wrote about in your last letter. I simply need to know more! - Alec laughed.

\- Wait, you two owl each other? - Draco span around, furrowing his brows, a scowl painting his face.

\- Yeah, since the world cup. Don’t give me such a sour face, I write to you too. - Alec pulled Draco closer, squeezing his shoulder, but Draco shook his hand off of himself, walking a bit further to examine some fancy feathers.

He could hear Alec chatting with Krum in a way too friendly tone, a lot of laughter mixed in that started to play on Draco’s nerves.

\- I’m done, don’t want any of these quills. Let’s go. - Draco couldn’t help himself sounding annoyed, crossing his arms over his chest.

\- C’mon. You need some. - Alec turned his attention to Draco; with one hand on Draco’s hip, he pulled Draco back to the majestic quill stand. - I saw you admiring this one. Do you want it? - Alec breathed against Draco’s ear, letting his lips brush the soft skin there, earning a soft shiver from Draco.

Draco closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before nodding.

\- Then I’ll buy it for you so every time you write with it, I come to your mind. - Alec pressed a soft kiss against Draco’s temple before picking up the quill and going over to the counter to pay.

When Draco turned around he saw Krum following Alec with his gaze before picking up a couple quills from the stand near him and walking to the counter, standing way closer to Alec than Draco would like.

But all of Alec’s attention was on Draco, a big smile spreading over his lips, handing Draco a small bag with the quill and something else inside it that made the bag a bit heavier.

\- Everything alright, grumpy? - Alec pushed Draco’s hair back from his forehead, running his fingers through wind-tangled strands.

\- Yeah. Maybe we could grab a cup of hot chocolate? - Draco breathed out, leaning closer to Alec.

\- Sure. - Alec smiled down at him before turning around to face Krum. - Coming for a cup of hot chocolate? -

\- Why not? - Krum shrugged, following them out of the shop.

\- Oh, will you go to that yule ball? - Alec asked Krum, keeping his arm around Draco’s waist.

\- Yeah, I need to. We champions need to start the dance. -

\- Oh, already got a partner? - Alec smirked at Krum.

\- Well, sadly I can’t take you since you don’t study at Hogwarts. - Krum smirked back, bumping his hip against Alec’s, making him laugh and making Draco feel even more annoyed at the same time.

\- Oh, you would love such a thing! - Alec laughed.

\- That’s it. I’m going back to the castle. - Draco pushed Alec’s arm off of himself, starting to stroll back to the castle, way too annoyed to care that he shouldn’t be walking so fast if he wants to actually make it to the castle still breathing.

\- Draco! Wait! - Alec ran up to him, grabbing his hand and spinning him around.

\- Let me go. - Draco tried to pull his hand out of Alec’s grip but Alec just pulled him closer, locking his arms around Draco’s waist, keeping him close and looking him deep in the eyes, all playfulness gone. 

\- Please calm down. - Alec breathed out, worry and sadness drowning out the blue of his eyes.

\- You clearly want to spend time with Him, not me. So go on! - Draco could tell his voice sounded weird, it was cutting cold with a tone of breaking that made him suddenly afraid he might start to cry.

\- I am with you, am I not? I left him and ran to you, didn’t I? He is just a friend but you are special. - Something into Alec’s tone made Draco still and sigh.

\- I’m just tired. - He murmured, pushing his face down against Alec’s neck.

\- I know, baby, I know. - Alec just pulled him closer, running one hand through his hair. - Let’s go get that cup of hot chocolate before I walk you back to the castle. -

\- Mhm… - Draco just nuzzled closer to Alec’s neck, not wanting to move away at all.

 

Draco was late for breakfast. He didn’t know how that happened but he just overslept.

He was bathed in Alec’s scent, his mind telling him in a dream that he could sleep a bit more, sleep next to Alec and be safe.

So when he finally got up, he was already late for breakfast, but maybe he could still get some tea.

He wasn’t really running, he was just walking really fast when he almost bumped into Harry, who was coming out of the great hall.

Harry nodded to Hermione and Ron to keep on going, stopping by Draco.

\- I wanted to talk to you. -

\- Yeah, well, not the right moment. I want to get a cup of tea but breakfast is almost over so if you could move aside. - Draco really didn’t mean to be sassy, it just came out.

\- Cedric asked me to the ball. - Harry blurted out, not looking up at Draco.

\- Good. I’m going with Pansy. - Draco was looking into the great hall, trying to spot if the tea kettle was still on the table.

\- Oh… Oh.. well… Good… - Harry was searching Draco’s eyes, something desperate and sad flickering in his own.

\- Yeah, now if that’s all, bye. - Draco stepped around Harry and rushed to the slytherin table, but right when he reached out for the tea kettle, it disappeared.

Draco cursed under his breath, standing up and storming out of the great hall, throwing a glare at Harry.

He needed his fucking cup of tea.

So he ended up in the kitchen, devouring his fresh cup of hot tea, ranting to Dobby about Harry and how insensitive he was.

After two cups of tea, he finally felt better enough to walk back to the common room to find Pansy.

\- Pansy! What kind of dress are you wearing to the Yule Ball? - Draco plopped down on the armchair closer to the fire, facing Pansy.

\- I was thinking of emerald green or something bluish. Why? - She leaned closer to Draco.

\- Because I want us to have matching colors in our outfits. Better wear icy blue. I will have my dress robes that color. But you know, that deep ice blue, not the pale one. The pale one won’t suit you. Or me. Kay, that’s done. - Draco flicked his wand and a piece of parchment flew to his hand.

He was about to start writing a letter to his mother but Pansy was still gaping at him, joined by Blaise.

\- What? - Draco huffed out.

\- Did you just ask Pans to go with you to the ball? - Blaise was holding back laughter.

\- Yeah, wasn’t that clear? Why else would I coordinate our dress robes? - Draco just shrugged, turning back to his letter.

\- Well, boys usually actually ask first. - Pansy leaned back on the sofa.

\- Well, do you have a problem with it? Want to go with Blaise? - Draco looked back up, bored.

\- No, of course I will go with you. -

\- Then stop being a whiny bitch and go order your dress. - Draco huffed in annoyance.

\- Just because Harry has found a new pet doesn’t mean that you can be mean to me! - Pansy jumped up and stormed away.

\- What the hell? - Draco looked as she went.

Blaise couldn’t hold on anymore and started laughing, getting a glare from Draco.

\- Shut up. -

\- Okay, okay. But really, she has a point. Don’t pour out your annoyance about Harry on us. -

\- I know. - Draco breathed out, looking back down and starting to write a letter to Narcissa.

 

Thinking back, Draco realised that it was the first time he had stayed in school during holidays, but almost everyone was staying because of the ball.

He looked in the mirror, seeing someone he didn’t really know staring back.

Eyes like ice, dress robes a deep icy blue bringing out his pale blond hair and his sharp cheekbones.

He looked even paler than usual, his lips standing out fully pink.

He no longer was the soft Draco his mother tried so hard to keep. Right now, dressed in posh robes of the best quality, he looked just like someone his father had tried to shape, cold hearted pureblood.

\- Mate, how did you get your robes to look so tight? I literally feel like they are painted on my skin but they still don't look as good as yours. Damn. - Blaise’s voice pulled Draco back out of his thoughts.

\- I don’t know. This is the first time I have put them on. Mother ordered these for me and sent them to me this morning. So you will need to ask her. - Draco turned around, letting his eyes run over Blaise in his emerald green robes.

\- I will need to ask. Because I could use some of these dress robes. - Blaise looked back at the mirror, fussing around his hair.

\- Here, let me. - Draco softly pushed his hand away, stepping in front of Blaise.

He ran his hands through Blaise’s hair, styling them in the way that would suit him. After that he let his hands drop to his neck, correcting the collar and elegant bow there before letting his hands drop to his own sides, looking back up into Blaise's eyes.

\- Thanks… - Blase breathed out with a toothy smile.

Draco just nodded, stepping away just in the moment when Pansy opened their dorm room door.

\- Did I disturb you guys? - She smirked. - So, how do I look? Fantastic, I know. We need to go, the ball is about to start. -

\- We know. Let’s go, snake. - Draco extended his elbow for Pansy to take.

They walked up to the great Hall together, Pansy was blabbing about how much time it took to style hair, but when they stopped, his eyes landed on Harry in quite simple but still elegant black and white dress robes, standing next to Diggory, chatting nervously, his hair still a mess.

\- Draco, stop staring at Potter, we need to go into Great Hall. - Pansy pulled at his arm, only then did Draco realise that he had clenched his teeth and squeezed Pansy’s hand a bit too hard.

He pulled his chin up and led her into the great hall, fully ignoring Harry who was waving to him from where he was standing.

The hall was mind blowing and buzzing with life, when music started playing it felt like they were all transported to another reality, in their own safe bubble where all they were supposed to do was just listen to music and dance and dance and dance, simply be teenagers who were having fun.

Soon enough Draco let himself loose, actually enjoying dancing with Pansy, thanking all the tiring lessons he had needed to go through as a child for manor balls.

When they finally sat down, Pansy leaned close to him, her cheeks flushed and eyes shining.

\- Thank you, Draco, really. I had so much fun. I never thought that these balls could be so fun. You know how all pureblood balls always are so boring but this one, you made me see how much I can enjoy it. Thank you. - Pansy placed a light peck on his cheek.

\- I… Em… Your welcome? - Draco was a bit confused. - Thank you, Pans. For putting up with me. -

\- Save it, blondy. - Pansy laughed, getting up. - I’m gonna get a drink. - 

Draco watched her go, leaning back on the bench and letting his body relax a bit.

Soon he started to look around, seeing how much fun everyone was having.

His eyes landed on a messy-haired head and something inside him clenched.

Harry had his arms around Cedric’s neck, Cedric’s arms around his waist, their chest flushed together, eyes locked before they leaned in a kiss.

Draco didn’t realise that he had jumped up, his fists clenched, eyes locked on the lovebirds in the middle of the dance floor.

A hand landing on his shoulder made him finally look away, he turned to see Sirius standing next to him.

Sirius simply nodded and led Draco out of the hall, holding a firm arm around his shoulders.

Draco’s magic was buzzing, he felt it rise in his blood and it probably was stinging Sirius hand but Sirius didn’t let go, he simply kept on walking, leading Draco outside into the snowy garden and even further down the torch light up path, stopping only when they had almost gotten to the very middle of the beautiful garden, turning Draco to look him in the eyes.

\- No one should be sad during such a beautiful ball. I’m sorry that Harry is hurting you, I know how that feels but I also happen to know how to make you feel at least a bit better. So I have a small surprise for you, only you can’t tell anyone about it because it happens to be a bit rule-breaking. Go have some fun. - Sirius patted Draco on the cheek, softly pushing him further down the path.

Draco looked back with his brows furrowed, not really understanding about what Sirius was talking about, but Sirius only smiled at him before turning around and walking up the path to the waiting Remus, sneaking an arm around his waist and pecking him on the lips, both walking back up to the castle.

Draco walked a bit further and stopped dead in his tracks.

Right there in the middle of the beautiful snowy garden, lit up by flickering torches, stood a man in stylish grey dress robes, a smile painting his lips, his arms held out wide.

\- Alec! - Draco breathed out, his magic forgotten. He ran straight into Alec’s open arms, letting their bodies crash together, making Alec stumble a bit, laughter rumbling in Alec’s chest.

\- Missed me? - Alec’s hands were already running over Draco’s back, pulling him even closer if that was possible, his face pressed against Draco’s hair while Draco pressed his face against Alec’s neck, his hands gripping Alec’s sides.

After a long moment of simply breathing each other in, they finally pulled back a bit to look each other in the eyes, getting lost for another moment.

\- What are you doing here? How did you even get here? - Draco finally breathed out, worries running through his mind.

\- Sirius brought me here, he wanted to give you something that would make you happy for Christmas. So, I guess, I am your Christmas gift. - Alec laughed, earning a soft shove from Draco.

\- Idiot. - Draco murmured, never letting go of Alec’s hand.

\- Nah, your idiot sounds better. - Alec held Draco at arms length, his eyes running over all Draco’s body. - Fuck, you look so fantastic. Like some kind of Ice Prince but even better. So hot. - Alec ran a hand over Draco’s side. - How did you get it to hug your waist so tightly? Can you even breathe properly? - Alec turned Draco around, sliding his hand from Draco’s waist to his smaller back and over to his other hip. - And your bum, Draco! It should be illegal to have such a round bum! -

\- Oh, stop, you fool! - Draco turned back around, resting his palms against Alec’s chest. - Have you looked at yourself? You look like a snack or whatever that phrase Pansy was using was. - 

Alec just kept on laughing, running soft fingers over Draco’s cheekbone and sliding his thumb over his bottom lip before sliding his hand back down to rest on Draco’s hip.

\- Will you dance with me? - Alec breathed out, all the laughing gone, his eyes shining, bearing into Draco’s.

\- Of course… - Draco breathed out, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck, feeling Alec’s hands rest on his hips, starting to move slowly.

Out of nowhere music started to play, making it feel even more magical.

Alec didn’t look away from his eyes, soon taking hold of his hands and spinning Draco around, both of them getting fully lost in the dance, letting their bodies stay almost flush together in some moments, spinning in dance.

Alec took hold of Draco’s hips, pulling him up and spinning around, Draco closed his eyes and let his arms spread wide, loving the sensation of flying while dancing.

When Alec finally let Draco’s body slide back down against his, he held Draco in a strong hold, pushing back his hair with one hand, both out of breath, locking their eyes.

With a sudden urge, Draco hugged Alec tightly, feeling Alec’s grip tighten around his waist, before Draco pushed his face against Alec’s neck, closing his eyes and breathing in the intoxicating smell of Alec, brushing his lips against his fluttering pulse, earning a choked sigh from Alec before he felt a soft kiss being placed on top of his head.

In that moment, Draco couldn’t wish for a better Christmas and a better person to spend it with.

In that exact moment, he felt at peace.

For just that night, Draco could say that he was happy.

For now.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! I was so excited to post it and i so want to talk about this chapter so go on and rant as much as you want in the comments because damn, i so want to discuss ever little detail in this chapter!


	18. Sometimes You Need To Be Just That : A Friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it have been sitting in my doc's since sunday but here it finally is, enjoy.

**Sometimes You Need To Be Just That : A Friend.**

 

Draco softly knocked on Lupin’s door, waiting for a soft “come in” before entering.

It was fully mad but he needed to get this done, he’d already waited long enough.

\- Ah, Draco! Good Morning! - Remus greeted him cheerfully, running a hand through his hair that was a full-on mess.

Lupin was wearing an oversized sweater and simple comfortable trousers, his shirt untucked, peeking out from under his sweater, his feet bare, a tired smile stretching over his lips but his eyes shining in happiness.

\- Good Morning, Professor. - Draco felt a bit uncomfortable, as if he was intruding on something.

\- No need for that formality, we know each other well enough. Tea? I still haven’t had a chance to get my cup of tea this morning. Well, it’s midday but anyway. - Lupin started to make them both a cup of tea, nodding for Draco to sit down.

Draco sat down on the very edge of a big chair, he had no idea why he felt so nervous all of sudden, it was silly.

\- So, was there anything you wanted to talk about or did you simply want to pay me a visit? - Lupin gave Draco a cup of tea that smelt tasty and a plate with cakes, sitting down himself and taking a big sip of his own tea. - Mmm, this is such good tea. Sirius has excellent taste in these, pure blood and all. - Remus murmured into his cup, his eyes closed, savouring the rich taste.

Draco took a sip too and he had to admit that indeed it was one of the best teas he had ever tasted, and his mother had a big collection of teas.

\- This is such good tea, I will need to send some to my mother, she would love it. - Draco hummed in appreciation..

\- Yes, yes, here, I’ll write its name down for you so you can order some. - Remus summoned a piece of paper and scribbled down the tea’s name before giving it to Draco.

\- Thank you. - Draco put it in his pocket.

\- Take some cake, these are amazing. And, can you imagine that Sirius baked them himself? He always comes up with something to surprise me. But don’t worry, these are really tasty. - Remus shoved almost all of a small cake into his mouth, leaning back in his chair.

It was a bit unsettling to see him so chill, so free and not professor-like. 

But Draco shrugged and nibbled a small cake, almost letting out a moan at how tasty it was.

\- Damn, these are so fucking good! - Draco let out a small moan, keeping his eyes closed, loving how the rich taste spread all over his mouth.

\- Right?! Fucking amazing! I have no idea how he baked them but damn, he will need to bake a whole box for me! - Remus moaned, sipping his tea.

After eating all the cakes that they had and drinking not only one cup but at least three cups of tea, they finally settled back in their chairs, simply enjoying the winter sunshine that was shining through one of the high windows.

Draco felt pleasantly relaxed and full, feeling sleep already creeping onto him, a big yawn escaping his lips, reminding him why he actually came here in the first place.

\- Oh, actually, I came to ask if Sirius is anywhere here? I wanted to thank him. - Draco rubbed his eyes with his fist, trying to shove the sleep away.

\- Oh, I must say that you missed him, he actually left like a minute before you knocked. - Remus let out a breathy laugh. - But you can write to him, I can give you our address. Or we can just floo call him right now. -

Remus sat up a bit straighter, letting his legs fall back down off of the chair.

\- I don’t want to bother any of you! - Draco pushed himself up straighter.

\- No worries, he loves it when I floo him. - Remus was already up and walking to the fireplace, throwing floo powder in and calling out Sirius’ name.

After just a second, Sirius' head poked out of the flames, his hair an even bigger mess than Remus’.

\- Moony! Already miss me? - Sirius smirked, his eyes fixed on Remus.

\- Shut it, Pad, Draco wanted to talk to you, so please be sensible. - But there was no edge in Remus' words, an easy smile playing over his lips.

\- I always am! - Sirius whined back, winking at Remus before turning his attention to Draco. 

Draco stood there stunned by such an exchange but he could see fun dancing in both Remus’ and Sirius' eyes.

\- I just… I wanted to thank you… For what you did last night… Alec… He means a lot to me and to have him for Christmas here with me, it was… I… - Draco couldn’t grasp the right words but the knowing smirk like smile that Sirius was giving him said that he had made his point clear enough. - Thank you. I know that you didn’t need to do anything like that. After all, I am nothing to you or Remus. -

Draco hung his head low, realising how true his words were, he really was nothing, just another student. A shitty one.

\- What bullshit! You are like family to me and Remus! And, we actually count as cousins or something sort of like that so you are not nothing, Draco. And you are a really good friend to Harry! Speaking of, where is he? - Sirius turned to face Remus who looked annoyed all of sudden, crossing his arms over his chest.

\- Not now, Sirius. - He almost growled.

Draco sighed, pushing his hands into his pockets.

\- He’s probably still with Cedric. I should go, I need to send a letter to Mother. Thank you once again. - without waiting for a response, Draco turned around and hurried out.

\- And look what you've done now! You know how shitty he feels about Harry dating Cedric but no, you had to bring that up! He had such a good morning! Sirius! -

\- I didn’t mean to, Re! Do you really think that I would… -

But Draco had already shut the doors and didn’t hear the rest of their conversation.

He actually needed to write to Narcissa, so he made his way back to his dorm room to write a nice letter, including a small gift he and Alec picked out for her.

 

Somehow he and Harry got to spend more time together after Christmas, they sort of fell back into their previous routine.

Only this time, when they choose to study together, Granger and Weasley came too, soon Blaise joined in and after a couple sessions he brought Pansy with him.

It was a weird combination but it worked in some ways, each helping the others out with small details.

Soon enough Lovegood joined in too, brightening everyone’s mood.

By the end of the month, they were a table full of students, all studying together, making amazing results.

Harry had gotten closer to Draco once again, he had started to let their shoulders brush together again, messing Draco’s hair up and simply leaning against Draco when he didn’t want to do any work.

Then came the third task and ruined it all.

Cedric won and Harry abandoned him to run and celebrate with Cedric.

Draco hung back, ending up sticking with Krum.

\- Fancy a flight? I am not really a party guy. And all this tournament has been a lousy fuck. - Krum grumbled in his ear.

\- Sure, why not. - Draco sighed, watching Cedric throwing an arm around Harry and kissing him in front of everyone.

They turned and stalked off in the dark.

It really wouldn’t be a good idea to fly in such dark, especially since Draco hadn't been on a broom since the start of second year, but something in him, something reckless, urged him to just do it without worrying about what would happen next.

Krum accioed his own broom and one for Draco.

\- It’s my spare one. Should work just fine. - Krum had already gotten on his own broom, kicking off of the ground.

Draco watched him for a moment before slowly getting on the broom.

Well, if he did fall, at least he wouldn’t need to see Harry and Cedric making out anymore, so that was a good thing.

Draco pushed off of the ground and soared up in the air to catch Krum.

The wind was chilly but pleasant against his skin and the feeling that surged through his body by simply getting up in the air was already better than he expected it to be.

Draco closed his eyes for a moment before soaring even higher up in the night air.

He heard Krum soaring next to him.

\- It always feels so much better in the air! -

\- It feels so freeing! - Draco shouted back, zooming around to see how fast this broom can take him, feeling adrenaline pumping through his body.

They both soared through the air, racing each other, Draco soon falling into the same pattern as Krum was flying.

They flew for what seemed to be hours, landing back down on the ground when it was already pitch dark, stars and moon already visible.

Draco stumbled a bit when he landed, feeling a bit uneasy to be back to the ground but Krum held him by his arm, smiling goofily down at him, his cheeks red from cold.

Draco must look the same, just with added messy hair that was probably sticking up in all directions.

\- You are a really good flyer. Do you play quidditch? - Krum started to walk toward the castle, carrying both brooms, all his attention down to Draco.

\- I used to. Was a seeker. - Draco sighed, only now realising how much he actually missed flying and playing quidditch.

\- Why did you stop? -

\- I got some health problems back in second year, really damaged my physical state and healers didn’t allow me to fly at all. This actually is the first time I have flown or touched the broom in years actually. It was really fun, thank you for that. - Draco pushed his cold hands into his robe pockets, trying to catch back some warmth.

\- Oh, that must suck. I love flying. A lot of times it feels like it’s so much better than being on the ground. - Krum shrugged. 

\- Yeah, it’s so freeing, purifying. - Draco sighed again, looking up at the stars.

They continue to walk in silence, Krum stopping only by the entrance hall door.

\- It was a good flight, Draco. Thank you. - he smiled down at Draco, watching him walk inside before turning and stalking down to the ship.

 

The next morning Draco met up with an exhausted looking Harry for breakfast with Remus.

\- It seems that you hardly have slept at all. - Draco couldn’t help but sass when they sat down at the small table and Harry slid down a bit more to be more comfortable in his chair, closing his eyes.

\- Because I didn’t. - Harry grumbled back, making Draco only more annoyed.

\- Then it’s your own problem. Night is for sleep, you idiot. - Draco crossed his arms over his chest.

But to his surprise, Harry simply snuggled closer to him without any snide reply, keeping his eyes closed and now resting his head against Draco’s shoulder.

\- Do I look like a pillow to you, Potter? - Draco couldn’t help himself, he liked to feel the warmth seeping from Harry’s body but just something deep inside him couldn’t let him forget that Harry probably spent all night with Cedric and that he most likely was leaning against Cedric’s shoulder just like this only a moment before.

\- No, my pillow doesn't shout out sassy remarks. - Harry grumbled once again.

A soft snort was heard behind them, Draco shot Remus a glare but Remus just smirked at him, setting down a teapot with fresh tea.

With that they started to eat, falling pretty fast into easy conversation around everything and nothing, a soft smile playing over Remus lips almost all the time, his eyes almost never leaving Draco and Harry, who was still pressed against Draco.

After they finished their breakfast, Harry simply lied down, setting his head in Draco’s lap, without really thinking, Draco started to run his fingers through Harry’s hair, talking with Remus about their latest class subject, so it was no wonder when they noticed that Harry had fallen asleep.

Draco caught himself looking down at Harry peacefully sleeping in his lap, getting a weird longing like feeling inside his chest, something that felt so similar to sadness but yet so different.

Draco sighed once more, stopping his head for a second to simply rest in Harry’s soft locks.

\- He really misses spending a lot of time with you. - Remus spoke in a soft voice, still watching them.

\- Well, it wasn’t really my choice to spend less time together, was it? - Draco let his fingers curl into fist, pulling a bit on Harry’s hair, but Harry just sighs in his sleep, snuggling his face deeper into Draco’s thighs.

\- I guess it wasn’t, no. Sometimes things shift when one gets into a relationship, sometimes it’s harder to maintain time to spend with your best friend. -

-  I could hardly count as that. - Draco chimned in but Remus simply continued.

\- But you must remember that friends are more important than love interests. It is also such a gem when you happen to find your love interest in your friend, because then you don’t need to worry, you just get to spend extra time with your best mate and it feels fantastic. - 

\- Was that what happened with you and Sirius? - Draco finally looked up at Remus.

\- I guess, yeah. Sometimes it still feels like a dream that we can actually have each other as lovers and not only as best mates. - Remus sighed. - Harry helped a lot too. -

\- What do you mean? - Draco furrowed his brows.

\- During the wizarding war, things got really hard, relationships got a lot rougher. We almost fell apart. But then, after that terrible night when Lily and James died, we had Harry and we needed to push all of our misunderstandings aside and just be something more. We needed to be family, we needed to be parents and friends. And Harry helped us a lot to repair our relationship. I think he didn’t even realise that, after all, he was used to always having us both, as if we came in a pair. Sometimes I think that without him, we wouldn’t have worked out, that the war would have split us and just the thought of that is terrifying and painful, so every day, I am grateful that Harry  helped us work it all out because to be honest, I can’t really live without Sirius. Even back in school, it seemed that without him, I was simply existing, but with him, I could finally get a breathe of fresh air and live. - Remus smiled sadly by the end.

Draco was quite speechless after hearing such a thing, he looked down at Harry in his lap and something painful squeezed his chest, a ball of tightness settled in his neck.

\- I’m sorry that you had to go through that… - Draco murmured, softly stroking Harry’s cheek, tears pricking his eyes.

\- Na, it’s okay. Sorry for bothering you with old man’s crap. - Remus laughed.

All Draco could do was nod, blinking a few more times to get the prickling away from his eyes and staring down at sleeping boy in his lap, softly running his fingertips over the boy’s cheek, sliding deep in his own thoughts, feeling an urge that he just needed to hold Harry close, to stroke his cheek and just feel his warmth under his fingertips, an urge to simply be close to Harry.

 

It was a really warm day, you could already sense summer in the air. It was just this and one more day before they would all go back home for their summer break.

Draco was sitting under a tree near the lake, Harry was sprawled on the ground with his head in Draco’s lap.

The sun was shining over them, making Harry’s eyes look even greener.

Harry was trying to mess up Draco’s hair, joy sprinkled in his eyes.

Draco swatted his hands away, but Harry still managed to get his fingers into Draco’s hair, messing it up entirely.

Draco got hold of Harry’s hands, pinning them criss-crossed over Harry’s chest, leaning down close and looking straight in Harry’s eyes.

\- You are such a tosser. - Draco breathed out, snaking one hand up and pushing Harry’s glasses up into his mess of hair, but Harry only laughed harder, trying to free his hands that were still in Draco’s strong hold.

His eyes were sparkling, his laugh doing weird things to Draco.

Draco’s fingers were still in Harry’s hair, holding his glasses there, he could feel Harry’s breath ghost over his face and Harry’s eyes seemed so bright without glass standing in between really seeing them, so Draco ran his fingertips over Harry’s cheekbone, then over his brow, slowly trailing down to his jaw.

Harry had stopped laughing, just smiling breathlessly up at Draco, his eyes getting darker and his pupils dilating, his hand sneaking up to hold on to Draco’s arm, the other gripping Draco’s shirt.

It felt impossible to break their eye contact, something deep passing between them.

Draco slid his thumb slowly over Harry’s bottom lip, earning a sigh from Harry, his eyes fluttering shut.

Harry’s lips were so soft that Draco wanted to slide his thumb over them one more time, he was suddenly drawn to Harry’s lips, parted in a soft sigh.

Heat was tinting Harry’s cheeks a bit pink, making him look even more beautiful.

So he did just that, he slid his thumb back over Harry’s lips, pressing this time a bit harder, to feel it a bit better.

\- Draco… - Harry breathed out, sounding breathless.

Draco was about to answer when shadow fell over them.

\- What is going on here? - Cedric’s sharp voice made Draco jump, straightening back up and letting go of Harry.

He felt like they had been caught doing something illegal, his pulse rushing and making heat flush over his own pale cheeks.

\- Cedric! - Harry all but jumped up, his glasses falling to the ground from his hair, looking like a breathless, startled mess.

But he also sounded kinda scared.

Draco furrowed his brows at that, knowing that tone of voice way too well, having heard it in his own voice too many times when his father had caught him doing something he was not supposed to be doing at all.

And Cedric looked angry, his arms crossed over his chest.

Harry looked around to get his glasses, Draco picked them up and pushed them back on Harry before looking back at Cedric who, without waiting another second, grabbed Harry by his wrist and pulled him away, stopping a bit further away, turning around to face Harry and saying something to him that made Harry cross his arms over his chest, looking all too stubborn, and snap something back.

After a small exchange of words they continued to walk back up the castle, snapping at each other way too often.

Even though Draco didn’t hear anything they were saying, he could see that it wasn’t anything pleasing from the way Harry’s body was reacting.

\- It’s none of your business. - Draco murmured to himself, picking up the book he was trying to read before Harry came to spend time with him.

 

Later that day, Draco saw Harry only across the hall, his eyes a bit red and puffy, murmuring something to Hermione who looked at him apologetically.

Draco tried to catch up with him after dinner but Harry just leaned a bit closer to Hermione rushing up the stairs.

\- Not today, mate. He isn’t feeling well. - Ron stopped to Draco before rushing up the stairs too, leaving Draco all alone, feeling like a shit and not understanding what he had done to upset Harry so much.

 

They didn’t get to talk much over the next few days but then, when they were all walking to get on the train, Harry caught him by his elbow.

\- Wanna sit with us? - His eyes were sparkling again, making Draco feel warm.

\- Why not? - Draco shrugged, following Harry through the train to their compartment where Granger, Weasley and Remus were already sitting.

Harry plopped down and pulled Draco next to him, already reaching for a chocolate frog, giving half to Draco with a bright smile.

They fell into easy chatting about studies and what they wanted to do in the summer, playing a couple rounds of wizarding chess, Remus almost always winning, only losing to Ron.

Harry had fully leaned against Draco’s chest while Draco leaned against the compartment wall, one hand thrown over Harry while the other rested on his knee.

Their door suddenly slid open, causing everyone to look up.

When Harry turned his head to look up, his hair pushed into Draco’s face.

\- Ugh, you could at least try not to shove your mess of hair in my mouth, Potter. - Draco grumbled without any flame to his words, showing Harry’s hair out of his face, finally looking up and seeing the furious-looking Cedric.

Harry scrambled up and walked out in the corridor, closing the door behind him, walking somewhere with Cedric.

Draco was confused by such a reaction so he turned to the others who looked suddenly sad.

\- What was that about? - Draco nodded to the door but got only shakes of their heads in answer.

They returned to their chess game, the mood slowly switching back to cheerful, but Harry didn’t return until much later when they almost were already in London.

Draco pulled at his hand but Harry just shrugged, not really meeting Draco’s eyes.

\- Are you okay? - Draco cupped Harry’s cheek, turning his face to face him, but Harry looked away, his eyes a bit red as if he had been crying.

\- M kay. - Harry mumbled, not at all sounding okay.

\- Bullshit. - Draco whispered to Harry before pulling him into a hug.

It felt weird to hug someone other than Alec, still not used to feeling other’s touch, it was just a bit too warm, a bit too close, but Draco closed his eyes and forced the shiver of danger down, holding Harry in his arms, feeling  Harry almost melt against him, calming down.

\- Now better? - Draco murmured in his ear.

\- Much better, thanks. - Harry pulled back, smiling a sad smile before rubbing at his eyes.

At the platform he saw how Sirius pulled Harry into a tight hug before pulling Remus closer and pecking his lips with a big grin spreading over his own.

His eyes met Sirius and Sirius smiled at him, nodding before turning back to Harry, leading him away.

\- Draco. - Narcissa’s voice called Draco back to reality.

\- Mother. - Draco walked forward, letting Narcissa peck his cheek before leading him away.

Draco stumbled a bit when they flooed home, an angry sigh escaping him.

\- Draco, your father is a bit moody these days, so please try and be polite. - Narcissa stepped closer, brushing away non-existent soot from Draco’s shoulder before smiling warmly at him. - Dinner will be ready in ten minutes, don’t be late. - 

Narcissa walked away, leaving Draco alone.

He sighed again before walking up to his room to change.

He had just come into the dining room when Lucius strode in, nodding to Draco before sitting down, followed by Narcissa.

\- Father. - Draco nodded politely before sitting down with his back straight, starting to eat, listening to Lucius talk about some pureblood news.

Then finally came Draco’s turn, Lucius actually turning to look at him, asking about school.

\- I have decided to start flying again. I actually tried it already and understood how much I miss that feeling. It's a funny story, to be honest, need to thank Victor Krum, he asked me to fly with him. - Draco took another bite of his dessert.

\- That’s good. I will contact Snape so he can write you back into the Quidditch team, you will be the Slytherin seeker. - Lucius took a big sip of his wine.

\- What? Just because I said that I want to start flying again doesn’t mean that I want to be back on the team or play quidditch at all. - Draco furrowed his brows at Lucius.

\- Draco! - Narcissa tried to hush him.

\- Stop babying with him! He’s not a child anymore. - Lucius snapped at her.

\- Don’t talk to her like that! - Draco let his fork drop down to the table with loud clatter when it hit the porcelain.

\- You have no respect. That should be punished. - Lucius drawled out, turning his cold gaze to Draco’s burning one.

\- With what? Yet another cruciatus? - Draco stood up. - Thank you for dinner, I will now go back to my room and tomorrow morning I will floo to France. -

Draco dropped his napkin on the table, strolling out of the room in such a Lucius-like maniere that it made him feel sick.

When he got to his room, he almost tore off his clothes with such force that he was almost sure  something would tear apart, but he just felt so sick and he just needed to get the stifling clothes off of him.

When he was finally naked, he stepped under the shower, letting the hot stream hit his skin, the soft burning taking away his sickness and similarities with Lucius.

He took longer to wash, spending more time simply allowing water to run over his body, afterwards simply flopping down onto his bed, still  naked, letting sleep drape over him like a blanket.

In the morning Narcissa sat down to have breakfast with him, hoping that Draco had changed his mind.

\- Mother, I won’t change my mind. If I stay here, it will take maximum how many days for him to torture me once again? Hm? I will be okay, Dobby will come and Alec will be with me too. So really, there is no need to worry. - Draco took hold of his mother’s hand.

\- Still, Draco. I can’t go with you right now. I don’t like it. - Narcissa looked at Draco, letting her worry show.

\- And I said that it’s fine. Alec will be there all the time. And you know how he is, like really, I’m safe with him. If anything, we will floo you right away. Promise. - Draco stood up, pecking Narcissa’s cheek before straightening up and walking to the floo.

He caught one last glimpse of the worried look Narcissa shot him before being whisked away and landing in the silent France manor.

He closed his eyes at the calming silence that bathed around him. It was so comfortable, much more pleasant than being in the manor.

Draco walked to his bedroom, changing into the simple clothes that Alec had gotten him before, simple sweatpants and a t-shirt, all muggle-made but damn it, they were so comfortable that Draco felt thankful for Alec dragging him into them every single day.

He then lay down in his massive bed, letting his eyes fall shut, fully ready for a big nap.

He really felt safer here, just as he have told Narcissa; he hadn’t lied, he’d just forgotten to mention to her that Alec couldn’t come to stay with Draco for at least one more week, being caught up with his own exams at his university, but well, Draco still felt safer here.

 

You wouldn’t believe how actually refreshing it can be to spend a whole week mostly alone, but Draco felt a lot calmer, spending the whole week just doing whatever he wanted, napping however much he wanted and just enjoying the silence. His whole body felt lighter, more refreshed than before, so even without his wand being anywhere near him, left locked up at the manor in Lucius’ cabinet, he could feel the pleasant buzz of his magic flowing through his veins.

Draco was lying on the sofa, reading with his fur-socked feet propped up, when the fireplace reared to life, startling him.

Draco dropped his book, jumping up just to see Harry’s face sticking out of the fire, his hair an even bigger mess than usual, his eyes all puffy and wet, tears still rolling down his cheeks.

\- Draco… - his voice broke.

\- Harry! What happened?! - Draco kneeled down in front of the fireplace, worry setting in the pit of his stomach.

Was it Remus? Or Sirius?

Was someone injured or possibly dead?

\- I… I… - another fit of sobs broke through, scrunching up Harry’s beautiful face. - Can I just come over please? I need you… -

\- Sure. - Draco stood back up, watching as Harry’s head disappeared just for him to reappear seconds later, stumbling or more like falling out of the fire.

He threw his arms around Draco, sobbing into his shoulder.

Draco pushed down the shivers that ran down his body and slowly wrapped his arms around Harry, keeping him close, softly patting his hair, trying to calm the other boy down.

Only after several minutes did the sobs stop, allowing Draco to softly move Harry down to sit on the sofa.

\- Tell me what happened? Is it Sirius or Remus? Are they hurt? - Draco held Harry by the shoulders, searching his bloodshot eyes.

\- No, they are fine… - Harry shook his head, tears starting to pool in his eyes yet again.

\- Shit, please don’t cry. Try and tell me what happened so I can help you. - Draco let his fingers run through Harry’s hair.

Harry leaned into the simple touch, closing his eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking back up at Draco, ready to speak.

\- Cedric and I had an argument, a really big one. It was rather silly at first but then it started to heat up and the next minute we were arguing about you. He accused me of cheating on him with you and spending too much time with you and am too close and I said to him that we are just friends and I like being close to my friends and he lost it fully, he was furious, yelling at me, and I yelled back, getting just as angry and it was just so so bad and it hurt because how can he think such thing about me? And then… then… Then he simply broke up with me, kicking me out… - Harry was in tears again, sobbing into his hands.

Draco was stunned, did he really make Cedric break up with Harry? Was he really so bad?

\- And I didn’t want to go home, Sirius would be furious and probably do something stupid like go over there and curse his bollocks off or something but I needed to go somewhere and I just found myself calling you, needing you… - Harry stuttered over his words, taking sharp intakes of breaths in between words, looking up at Draco pleadingly.

\- Of course, I understand. I would go with Sirius’ plan too but you can stay here tonight. - Draco shrugged, wiping away Harry’s tears.

\- Thank you. - Harry breathed out, leaning against Draco, letting tears escape for a moment longer before taking Draco’s hand in his and starting to play with his fingers. - You know, he’s actually such an ass! Like the last couple months he has been so jealous about literally everything! Like I was braiding Hermione's hair and he just dragged me away, pushing me against the wall and after kissing me quite forcefully asked straight away if I was shagging her! Like imagine, me and Hermione! No, thank you! She’s like a sister to me! And then that thing with you, when he dragged me away, we had a long argument. And okay, make-up sex is fantastic but I just am so tired of all these arguments! Like, who can not get so tired of arguing all the time?! And he just was so jealous all the time but also so damn sweet with me, especially when we were alone, he was so gentle and just so, so damn amazing and I miss him already and it hurts, Draco! It hurt so much! - Harry shifted over, pressing his face into Draco’s shoulder, starting to cry again.

Draco sit there stunned by Harry’s flow of words, not processing everything fully and not knowing how to actually react, that acid-like feeling settling back into his chest, choking him, but Harry was here right now, leaning against him and crying his eyes out, so Draco pushed his own emotions away, back into a small box in the corner of his brain, wrapping his arms around Harry, softly cradling his hair, trying to calm the other down.

\- Thank you for being with me… - Harry murmured after calming down, wiping at his own eyes before looking around, taking in the place they were sitting in. - It’s so beautiful here. -

\- Yeah, it’s real calm here, that’s refreshing. - Draco followed Harry with his eyes as Harry walked around the room.

\- Can we just please have some fun? I really don’t want to think about him anymore today. - Harry sniffled, turning to look at Draco.

Sun was shining through the big glass doors and shining around Harry, making him look like he was glowing angelically.

\- ‘Course. - Draco nodded, getting up and walking back over to where Harry was standing. - What would you like to do? -

And Harry smiled, an actual small, tired smile at Draco, just like that, making Draco feel a bit warm inside.

They end up doing a lot of silly things, Draco getting really confused about a lot of things that Harry found so common, making Harry laugh for several minutes after.

But by the end of the evening, Harry was feeling a lot better, no more tearing up, having actual fun with Draco and enjoying himself rather a lot.

 

Alec came early that morning, tumbling with keys to let himself in, his hands full of bags but still beaming.

\- Draco! I got you… - He pushed the bedroom door open and stopped in his tracks.

Draco blinked at him tiredly.

\- Alec. Hi… - He let out a big yawn but Alec was still standing in the doors, his face changing so fast, all happiness being wiped away and his eyes turning deep icy cold, his jaw set, bringing out sharp cheekbones.

Draco furrowed his brows, not understanding why Alec was reacting like that, he pushed himself up just to stop, finally realizing that Harry was lying next to him, his arm thrown over Draco, his face pressed against his shoulder.

\- What is he doing here? - Alec’s voice is cold and dark, making a shiver run down Draco’s spine.

Draco softly untangled himself from Harry, getting out of bed, letting the blanket fall back over the still-sleeping Harry.

\- And why is he naked? - Alec took a halting step forward before stopping himself, clenching the handle of the bag he was holding into his fist. - Did you sleep with him? -

\- Firstly, he is not naked, he’s wearing boxers, I never knew that he was the type who liked sleeping without any pajamas. Secondly, you just saw yourself that I was indeed asleep with him, so what kind of stupid question is that? - Draco shook his head, taking ahold of Alec’s elbow and leading him out of the room, closing the door behind him as if not to wake Harry up.

Alec seemed to get even more tense and so much colder, setting his bags down on the table, leaving his backpack on before turning to the door.

\- Then I’d better go. - His voice was cutting but Draco had grown up with Lucius, easily ignoring the tone.

\- Why? - Draco asked bluntly, starting to feel uneasy.

\- You clearly are busy with  _ him _ . You clearly don’t need  _ me _ . - Alec all but spat out right into Draco’s face, not even realizing how close they had stepped to each other, now mere inches away.

Draco could feel Alec’s breath against his skin, smelling like a mix of mint, cigarettes and something sweet.

Alec’s eyes were stormy, you could almost see flashes of lightning there, but Draco looked up into them without blinking, holding his gaze strongly.

And then they were pulling each other into a hug, so strong and tight that it hurt, Alec hiding his face against Draco’s neck, Draco pulling with one hand on his hair, closing his eyes when he felt Alec’s warm lips against his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

Draco turned his face to get closer to Alec’s neck, ending up being pressed more into his shoulder than neck but still pressing a hard kiss against the place where neck meets shoulder, hearing Alec let out a sigh, pressing yet another kiss against Draco’s neck before pulling Draco even closer, gripping his waist with one hand, the other cradling Draco’s hair, starting to press more and more feather-light kisses against Draco’s neck before cupping Draco’s face into his palms and pressing light kisses on Draco’s jaw and cheeks, his eyebrows and eyelids, ending up pressing their foreheads together, his breathing coming out ragged, his eyes closed, simply breathing in Draco.

Draco kept his eyes closed, holding hard into Alec, still running one hand through his hair.

They stayed like that for a moment longer before Alec sighed again, slowly straightened up, and looked down at Draco, his eyes already a lot calmer.

\- Go shower, you stink. - Alec softly pushed Draco towards the bathroom, a joking tone now in his words.

\- You already showered me but okay. Don’t disappear. - Draco squeezed Alec’s hand, earning a small smile from Alec before walking to the bathroom, this time hurrying up with his shower, already missing Alec.

Even after stepping out of the shover, Draco could still feel Alec’s soft kisses on his skin.

He dressed quickly, pulling on soft flannel sweatpants and an oversized hoodie that he was sure was originally Alec’s, but it was too comfy to really care.

When he finally walked out of the bathroom with his hair still wet, Alec was in the kitchen, already having served breakfast that he had bought, he looked up and kinda stilled mid-movement, staring at Draco before swallowing hard and straightening up.

Draco walked straight into his arms, looking at the delicious-smelling food on the table.

\- You should wear my clothes more often, you look fantastic in them. - Alec murmured into his ear, sounding a bit breathless, but Draco’s attention was stolen by a plastic cup next to his plate.

\- Ah! You got me that tasty muggle drink? - Draco all but leapt for his cup, taking a big sip out of it, almost moaning around the creamy taste that filled his mouth.

Alec laughed, shaking his head as he sat down.

\- Yes, and breakfast too, from fifth street corner. Just as you like it. Now go on, eat before it all gets cold. - with a fond smile still playing on his lips, Alec started to eat, not letting his eyes drop off of Draco eating with his eyes closed, loving the taste.

Harry padded out of the living room, still in just his boxers, looking ruffled, his hair sticking up in every direction.

He yawned, stretching before slipping next to Draco, letting his hand trail over Draco’s shoulder to announce his presence.

\- Morning. - He croaked, pecking Draco’s cheek before taking a cup of coffee.

\- Good morning, did you sleep well? - Draco turned to look at Harry, noticing how tense Alec had gotten, his eyes once again turning all stormy.

\- Yeah, that bed is so comfy! Thank you, Draco, I really needed that. - Harry smiled warmly, looking out of the window. - Wow, it is even more beautiful than I noticed last night. -

\- Yup, wait till you see the beach! Alec took me there and it is fantastic! I loved it there! Right, Alec? - Draco turned to Alec but all of Alec’s attention was on glaring at Harry, lightning going off in his stormy eyes, his hands clenched into fists. - Alec? - Draco asked again, finally managing to get Alec’s attention to himself. - It was amazing, right? - Draco asked softly, taking hold of one of Alec’s clenched fists.

Alec nooded, interlacing their fingers right away.

They didn’t talk much through breakfast, all eating in silence and being okay with it the problem started when they settled on the couch to play a board game.

Harry leaned against Draco, Draco dropping an arm over his chest, already used to sitting like that, but Alec got even more tense, now gritting his teeth, not taking his eyes off of them.

But somehow they played the board game, ignoring the couple glares that Alec shot at Harry when Harry nuzzled closer to Draco.

When it was almost dinner time, Harry sighed sadly before standing up.

\- I probably should get back, Sirius and Remus must be worried sick already. But thank you for everything, Draco. You helped a lot. Also, I will ask Sirius and Remus if they want to come to France so we can get to that beach together. It would be lovely. - Harry pulled on his jacket.

\- Of course, owl me okay? About everything. And remember that he’s an ass and you deserve better. - Draco let his fingers run through Harry’s hair a couple times before letting go but Harry pulled him into quite a tight hug, surprising Draco.

But Draco hugged back, knowing that Harry needed it.

Harry pecked his cheek one more time before stepping into the fireplace, smiling at Draco one last time before being whisked away.

Alec walked out on the balcony, anger radiating from him, he lit up a cigarette and took a deep smoke, gripping the railing quite forcefully.

Draco stepped out too, stopping next to Alec.

\- Will you tell me what’s wrong? - Draco asked in a small voice, feeling tired already.

\- Did you sleep with him? - Alec asked just like in the morning, turning his stormy eyes to look Draco in the eyes.

\- I already told you, yes. What a stupid question, really, you saw us together in bed when I just woke up. - Draco huffed out a breath.

\- What was he even doing here? Please enlighten me. - Alec took another angry drag from his cigarette.

\- I was chilling on the couch, reading, when he flooed me, he needed to come over because he didn’t know where else to go and he needed me. His boyfriend, Cedric, has dumped him. They have had another argument about me and about how Harry is spending too much time with me, being too close and so on. Basically he was being a dick to Harry, so Harry came here, he needed to get it all off of his chest and out of his head. - Draco looked over the city bellow them.

\- And what happened next? - Alec’s voice sounded strange, cold and distant.

\- Well, he cried, a lot, then we had just some fun around the house, getting his mind off of things. Then we went to sleep, he didn’t want to stay alone so I let him sleep in my bed next to me. - Draco shrugged.

\- And then you slept with him? You let him use you like some second hand tape? - Alec turned to Draco, anger rolling off of him in waves, he let the bud of his cigarette fall down over the balcony railing.

\- What are you going on about? He didn’t use me like anything. And why are you still asking if we slept together? I already answered that several times! - Draco started to get annoyed too.

\- Sex, Draco! I meant sex, not just casual sleeping! Gosh, you can be such an idiot sometimes. - Alec pulled on his hair in frustration.

\- What? - Draco was stunned and confused.

Why would he… Why would Alec think that he was having sex? What?

\- Did you two fuck? - Alec let his hands drop by his sides, looking at Draco desperately.

\- No! Gosh, no! - Draco stumbled a step back, his back hitting the balcony railing.

\- Then why was he naked?! - Alec was losing his patience, looking fully shattered and desperate.

\- I don’t know! He just apparently likes sleeping without pajamas! Why would I be having sex with him if he just broke up with Cedric? And why would I be having sex at all? - Draco’s mind was racing, his magic buzzing uncomfortably.

Alec looked relieved, it looked like a big weight had dropped off of his shoulders.

\- Draco, I’m sorry. - Alec almost whined, reaching for Draco, but Draco flinched away, his mind still racing, making him dizzy.

\- I don’t understand… - He let out, gripping at his hair. - I don’t understand. -

He murmured more for himself than Alec, something had shifted in his mind and he had no idea what it was or if that was even good but something had terribly shifted, like a wall falling down and he was scared of what was there to be revealed.

\- Draco? Draco! - Alec caught him right before Draco could hit the ground, still feeling too dizzy, his magic sparkling angrily.

He was scared and felt so trapped, and whatever was behind that wall was getting closer and he was lost, he was fully lost and he had no idea what to do or how to shut his mind off.

He was sure that his magic was getting out of control, he could feel it seeping out, over his skin but Alec was still holding him and then all Draco could sense was Alec’s scent all around him and then soft lips pressing against his cheeks, kissing away tears he didn’t know had escaped, and then Alec was pulling him into tighter hug.

Draco sighed softly, leaning closer to Alec, being finally pulled out of his mind, back into Alec’s arms.

\- You scared me. - Alec murmured, tears rolling down his own cheek, he looked fully shattered and sad.

\- I’m tired. - Draco breathed out, nuzzling closer to Alec, hiding his face against his neck.

\- I think you just had some kind of panic attack. Your magic was shocking me whenever I touched you, it was like you were a small ball of electricity. - Alec murmured into Draco’s hair.

\- Sorry? - Draco mumbled.

\- It’s okay. I’ll get you to the bed. - Alec pulled Draco even closer, carrying him inside to the bedroom, softly putting him down, but Draco didn’t let go, gripping a bit desperately at Alec, not wanting that overwhelming feeling to come back.

\- Stay. - He mumbled out, searching Alec’s eyes.

Alec just nodded once before getting into bed, pulling Draco back close into his arms.

And yes, it probably wasn’t smart to sleep while being fully clothed, and it probably was really uncomfortable to sleep in the jeans that Alec was wearing but right in that moment, he couldn’t care about that, he just needed to be close to Alec, breathing in his scent and feeling safe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you like it all? What do you think?  
> Because to be fully honest, i kinda don't like how the ending come out but well.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave reviews and tell me all how you like or dislike it bc i still am trying to get a grip on how to write these characters.  
> Thank you for reading!


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